swimming up and down in that horrid chlorine, i hate it but my client has to walk ten laps and i'd feel a wanker making him walk while i sit around reading and eating cake so every week i jump in and swim with him, offering words of encouragement and taking any residual frustrations out in some weird energetic boring as bat shit lap swim. i've never been a strong swimmer, i play in water, i love the ocean but pools freak me cos of all the chemical shit. however this is good, i bash and kick, push myself faster, longer, harder, i can feel my muscles aching, i can feel the tension, they stretch and excerpt themselves, it's actually good, pushing through the water, swimming along, mind focused on each stroke, all the anxiety, all the fucking frustration, all my unfulfilled needs and desires seem to dissipate. i pull my aching tired body out and head back.
suddenly my phone starts going mental, my week was looking nice and zen, and in the space of a few minites i'm wondering how i can fit everything in. i have a mad shedule from thursday until sunday, i have music to make, a high preistess to catch up with, a witch to visit, friends that demand time, friends that request time , friends that need time, friends that accept my time, it's looking like i won't be able to have any time for myself. that's okay i figure, i have a week in bali to look forwards to, where i can at least rest and drink coconut juice in the sun. i have not had a holiday like that since libby and i went to fiji, poor libby RIP, she was so cute and i was a beast, then i have three weeks leave to organise the last snuff music track and turn mission control into a recording studio again. i want to start a new deep fix project, i'm running out of time and my ideas are sprouting like fresh bean shoots.
i'm looking forwards to september, it's a good month for walking along the beach, being free and happy, enjoying the moments, letting things just flow and seeing where i'm taken.