celebrity crash boredom saturation point you throw that magazine down and finish your drink, you smoke three cigarettes and wander into the study flicking through a few papers you find a number and go to the painting on the wall near your desk, push it aside and reveal the safe, punch in the numbers and open the big door. it's a big door but small safe. you reach in and pull out a glock, you load the chamber and walk out onto the balcony, it's been a long day, you look down on the city lights, it's been a long fucking day, you see the cars on the freeway, you smile, the city looks great at night, all those pretty lights, all those amazing structures, sparkling against the night. a tear makes it's way down the side of your face.
your out of valium, out of luck, out of credit and out of love. you stick the gun against your head. you take a breath, ah one more drink you think, may as well finish the bottle, it's a good year, expensive whiskey.
you return to the lounge room, pour a drink and activate the cd player, some old song comes on, 'wild is the wind.'nina simone fills the room.
you sit down in that comfy armchair. the whisky burns the back of your throat, it's good, numbs the hurt, that's all you want right, the hurting to stop. the gun will do that. you consider doing it in the chair, it would be messy and you have always been a bit neurotic. so you take the bottle back out on the balcony, this time no glass, there's no point, just drink from the bottle. ahh, it warms you, for the first time in a while you feel okay, but you know it's just a momentary thing, and you know if you are going to do it, you better do it soon. then suddenly you remember that you need to write a note.
back in the study you hunt around for a decent pen, you find a biro and start writing.
'i have to do this, there's no way out. i'm really sorry but i have no choice. forgive me.'
he leaves the note on the desk and strides back out.
the gun feels comfortable in his hand, he puts it to his head and pulls the trigger just as nina simone sings
'let me fly away with you.'
he smiles as death comes to claim him