long distance diagnosis...
you are in pain, suffering for many years, you have no will over this because you have no understanding of the nature of your addiction, only a small fraction of it can be understood on an intellectual, emotional level, yet this does not free you from it completely because it's very nature is beyond traditional therapies understanding, and your own.
it's prime energies that result in this condition are grief, trauma and guilt. however these are so entrenched within the subconscious that they may not be accessible to you therefore trapped in a perpetual cycle these feed off one another and perpetuate the cycle of addiction.

self medication is often misused as a phrase to deal with these issues. although at the beginning it seems justified the use of alcohol or drugs is never medicating, this is a modern day delusion perpetuated by drug companies, alcohol, pharma, chem, multinationals and our own delusional selves. these types of medicine have nothing or little to do with healing. it could be said that people use these things to cope, in which case they are not treating the root, but the symptom. in most cases the root requires a continual process to uncover and reveal itself, to purge and dissipate the impulse that drives it. markers to assist are the processes i talk about in an earlier post, acknowledgement, understanding and love.

investigate on a deeper level...
all life functions as a vibration, from invisible spectrum's to denser visible tangible ones. just like the light frequencies.
it stands to reason that life energy exists in these dimensions as well. for example if a man dies his life force transcends to a different vibration, only the physical body dies, energy conversion is the realm of modern science yet the ancients knew about this before issac newton discovered gravity. some of these are in their own trauma and become so addicted to substances when the body dies the spirit becomes what is known as an 'elemental' being, refusing to leave this realm, it seeks out weak and vulnerable hosts to inhabit, possibly those who also have shared some traumatic event, guilt or self destructive urge. at some point your own life force has been hijacked by an energetic parasite that is now seeking to control your being and feed it's own malevolent agenda, which is to continue to drink. most alcoholics are in actual fact possessed by these spirits, hence the massive personality change. this does not exclude responsibility from the host but it becomes apparent to those around them that the subject is possessed or unrecognisable. often this results in perpetuating the guilt, trauma and grief. the worst spirits are white spirit ones as these insidiously come in many disguises, often looking quite harmless and recreational, these need healing on most levels beyond the intellectual and physical.
another perspective is we have created these energy forces from the trauma or root experience as a coping mechanism, for example a fear of intimacy or some trauma around intimacy may result in a pathological need to use alcohol as a social lubricant, thus dependence occurs. over the course of years the initial trauma becomes suppressed or forgotten and unnecessary to the host who is now functioning in legion with the spirit of the alcohols nature.

alcohol is also called 'a spirit' due to the nature of this phenomenon. it is nothing to to with religion or the supernatural, it's an acknowledgement that aa omits in it's 12 step program yet alludes to in a conscious way. this is because it does not have a very strong grasp on the spiritual nature of the universe, what it does is very basic, although profound and effective for some.
the impression i get from the small conversation is that the woman needs to forgive herself. she needs to have some one tell her she now has permission to forgive herself. then she needs to hear from you or some one close that her spirit is stronger than the one that inhabits her. if she acknowledges this she may be able to beat this. this is a question of will. then healing is in her own hands, there are various modalities that can assist but the most effective one is pranic healing or energy work. however there are so many charlatans out there, she needs to find one that is authentic and experienced, hence my suggestion she come to sydney.
my personal recommendation is you should be the person to tell her, 'i give you permission to forgive yourself.'
however this is not something that can be done over the phone, it requires what i call 'demonstrative' commitment. possibly the greatest act a human can do for another they care about is be there for them. this is healing in action because often the healer needs healing as well, and this relationship is part of the nature of the universal energy exchange some call karmic. such an act works both ways.