angela
i don't know what happened, it's all hazy and crazy, i remember me and you in a field, halfway across america, i was really young, must have still been in my teens, you were older. you seemed to have it all planned out for me and i was going along with you, i would have gone along all the way but you seemed to go crazy, getting all possessive and demanding and something nice and soft suddenly became hard and complex, i've never been good in complex relationships, this must be where it all started.
you were cute but i would not say beautiful, you were a strange english girl, who was out of her comfort zone, whereas i was thriving in america, i embraced it, i dropped all my preconceptions and looked out across the horizon, looked out at the vast skies and the expanse of lands, i felt the spirit of burroughs, steinbeck, falkner, it was calling me, only i could hear it, only my heart heard the call while you followed a english pull that repulsed me. i said i couldn't do it, you cryed and i felt nothing but relief. that was a long time ago, i didn't even know what love was.
i hitched north, i slept on picnic tables, i spent my nights in bus stations waiting for the early morning bus, i stayed in strangers houses, i walked through the night, slept in the back seat of cars, all the way to canada where i actually did fall in love.