my dear friend who i have not seen in 25 years has become something of great english spiritual teacher, his letters to me are quite remarkable and apart from being a great musician he has been very encouraging. i recently learnt that he has a new website that offers sound advice for those with philosophical or enquiring minds, those who are looking for the definitive truth. i would like to share this with you here if you are such minded. just go to
terryfulcher.com
and all will be revealed.

sadly i have cut up my finger with a fishing knife, sliced into the flesh, blood spurting out all over the place like a christmas fountain, therefore typing is quite tricky and blogging will be short and sweet today.
i have however started on the second snuff song. snuff is coming.

as they dragged me from the wreckage, i was dosed up with some weird narcotic painkiller, a woman in a white coat took my readings and they sent in a team of neurologists to assist with my brain. i was off course fully conscious.
i was still in the lab, surrounded by debris, a particle accelerator was operational and i could see a tachyon array beginning to form a field around the general area. excellent i thought, focusing my telekinetic abilities upon the computer system. the chip boards were fried in my hard drives but my wet-ware was working with the predictable reliability i had come to expect from all things from the amazon, the calculations were coming together, i could see the ever changing algebra flickering along in small data flow flashes. the neurologists looked nervous as they went into conference, i could hear the detectives organise a forensic team, they would be to late, they would never find any evidence here, neither would they really ever fully understand what i had done, they would be searching through the rubble and ruins for years but all the hard stuff was now floating around my brain getting ready to exit and that was not easily assessable. even a neuron hack would have to deal with the super firewall i had built in for protection. i had covered all bases. it would take them a week to realize the argumented wet-ware in my neo cortex and frontal lobe.
in a few moments my consciousness would be uploaded to a satellite via a light beam travelling through an 8 dimensional vortex i had opened. they would be left holding the body, a husk, a shell that i no longer needed. my brain would stop firing synaptic responses as the wet-ware dissolved leaving no trace.
i could feel my gateways closing, brain shutting down, suddenly chunks of memory disappeared, ability faded and all that would be left is a drooling and dribbling body. it had served me well but i had out grown the idea of being trapped in one unit.
i felt a surge upwards, out from my body, i could see some kinda white light, a sense of vertigo and suddenly i was everywhere.

high above the atmosphere i ( if such a term now applied) was stored in the satellite yet my consciousness was everywhere, i could focus it anywhere i wanted, like a beam. i narrowed the field, honing in upon the ruined lab, the neuron team were in dismay, they were baffled to why my lights went out so fast, the doctor looked defeated and sad and i could see the forensic team interviewing them and asking questions. i could focus further and be in their mind. i could feel what they felt and influence it. i flickered through them, surfing their neo cortex, i made one of them fall in love with another, i made the detective consider a sex change and i picked up a terrible secret from one of the forensic boys, he was a serial killer. i made him confess and then retreated my consciousness towards the problem at hand, namely the earth below.
in a few seconds a beam would open and i would find myself n direct communication with the entity known as gaia.

im a fat fuck filled with some experimental lentil meal and passion fruit and lemon desert made by my friends evan and leanne, strong wine swirls through my body straight to my head. we are all on the love boat, evan and leanne take a stroll along the deck watching an enchanting sunset while i am sneaking into the room of one of the can can girls, we fuck like it's the end of the world, while outside a giant tentacle arises from the ocean and starts taking innocent tourists, it's a cruise, right?
i tell evan about my walking in on the paranormal romance book club, about 15 young girls eating cheese and wine, discussing this new genre of writing. i've seen the titles, a sort of mills and boon version of steven king, terrible stories of love between skool girls and vampires, girls love this stuff at the moment.
they ask me to join them.
'have you ever read any paranormal romance.'
'no. i don't need to, i've had many paranormal relationships.'
the girls laugh and i get the look from a lovely lady with an eastern european accent but they don't realise i am serious. i laugh to myself.
evan talks about a time he and a friend attended a talk on angels and the speaker started the talk with the words, 'everything is everything.'
ha!
desperate people will believe any thing, even a scientists report that says the earth is warming and a tax will solve it. leaked e mails indicate the fraud but again there is no media coverage of this, nothing, it's all under the radar. people are sheep, desperate zombies, the world is run by bankers and strange occult groups they say, that's why i can't be responsible for anything, what a jip!
'a race of lizards run earth' they scream 'david icke wrote it in a book,' so it must be true.
these people are the so called new socialist class, always looking for a reason why they can't take responsibility for themselves. i dislike and distrust this in people. i'm immensely misanthropic. sure capitalism is bad, it's crap but it's the best system we have come up with at the moment, just like democracy. the only problem with these concept's is we don't follow them to their ideals. the ideal of capitalism would ensure resources are not depleted and the environment is sustainable.


it's a week of revolution, revolution within the libs, revolution within the labs, but it's the same old crap, over and over there is no escape from the cycle of political hyperbole, everything will collapse soon and we will see true chaos. it's almost time, the jungles will eat the city, the animal kingdom will reign supreme, nature will rise, man will fall, time will cease and herald peace. hark, i hear the sound of trumpets.

all day i spent with a massive head ache, i couldn't do anything but sit in a dark room and close my eyes. it was not until the sun set that i couild venture out from my room, maybe i am a vampyre after all.

you go dancing in the night clubs
because you no the dj
kiss a multitude of strangers
that's the price that you paid
to loose yourself in drugs
made mine a dark white russian
just to feel good in your absence
as the blood starts rushing

cover up your feelings
don't let down your mask
keep yourself together
just don't break your heart

you go back to the safety
of an ex lover
he may have been abusive to you
but he gets on with your mother
block out your emotions
i dare you to feel true love
as you slide down the spiral
wave as i rise up

it hurts to see us broken
it hurts to see us part
but that hurt compares to nothing
now i've got a broken heart

so keep your candle burning
and a smile on your face
you left me in the shadows
now i'm drowning in your wake
you remove me from existance
and i will cease to be
just a shadow of your ex love ex
wiped from memory

i'll howl at the full moon
about the words you've spoken
but there's nothing that can fix my heart
becuase it's broken.

yeah heart broken
who's loving you now.

here we are, a day off, and around me noise, the hammers of suburbia, the lawnmowers and electric drills, the horrific chain saw assault upon my morning peace, the hum of skool kids and the sound of the neighbors dog barking incessantly. i have to escape somewhere. find some slice of peace, it's been like this for weeks. the only peace i get is when i go to work.
throbbing head, neo cortex under attack, i slouch away, like a vampyer avoiding light, i avoid discordant noise. the shadows and the darkness of silence are my domain today.
outside the wind blows change, tony abbott is now leader of the opposition, the climate debate heats up, islam is rising, the west is fallen, the amazon is being cut, the gods look down unfavorably and our souls are cast into turmoil, all people really want is a little control over their own lives. i'm so bored with political debates, left right, it's the same old bird, and it's a turkey, i'm bored with the arguments, it's time for something refreshing, everyone in the political world is wrong, they stand for lies and narcissistic motive.t he sound bytes are tedious and induce nausea, the left wing are worse than the right, in fact the left is the right wing now. it's time to scrap the system, it has failed us.
so how to replace it, repair it?
firstly i think we need to stop the religious influence that seems to penetrate politics, separate the state from the church totally, then we need to stop the breeding of humans. bring the population down to sustainable levels and then totally put an end to the lunacy of aggressive destructive memes. the only memes that will be able to thrive are individual responsibility and freedom of expression, perhaps thelma can be used as it really does offer people a sense of personal freedom. know your will and serve it.
i will become the worlds first benevolent dictator, humanity will follow my word. no more meat is to be killed as industry, no more weapons, those that have them will have them turned against themselves. no more cars unless they are environmentally friendly, air ship will replace airplane. plastics will be banned as will the harm inflicted upon trees. humanity will no longer have borders and people are free to live where they wish, work will be as is now although with a more environmentally harmonious nature, food will be rationed equally to everyone, no one will starve. there will be plant medicine and no pharmaceuticals, there will be education that is based upon individuals talents and strengths, nurturing of these skills is important.
sports will be banned but arts will be encouraged. technology will be used in harmony with nature, the only exception being my personal space program, where we will consider travel across the galaxies a goal for all humanity.
this will unite us as a species and offer us a vision of achievement.
the earth army would be harnessed to assist people in trouble, earthquake victims, sea rescues etc.

the men where exhausted, i had driven them hard across the jungles into uncharted territory, dissent was rising, i could feel it. i consulted with the parrot, 'i guess we should break out some opium and give the men a break.'
'no way captain! that's our stash.'
'yeah but we are out numbered and i need them to carry my equipment.'
'it's a bad fucking move captain.'
'okay well it's my responsibility.'
we reached a clearing, there was a small stream and a few jak fruit trees that made a natural shelter, a good place to rest. i explained to the men we would be stopping here, having a day off and that in the evening i would be allowing them to smoke. the men looked at one another, there was an obvious air of distrust that i needed to alleviate. time for an uplifting speech and some inspiring words of gratitude.
'now i know you have all been pushed to the limit, and i am grateful, without you the mission would not be able to go ahead but we have a very important task ahead of us, one that requires bravery and resilience and everyone plays a part in its success including the humble sherpas. so good men, rest and enjoy the next 24 hours, replenish your strength and indulge your appetites, for tomorrow at dawn we continue.'
there was a rousing cheer, my speech had worked.
'dumb smucks' the parrot said.
'shh, lets go have a swim and a smoke.'
'fuck the swim, you need a bath.'
a mental image of a parrot being roasted passed through my mind but he was probably right, i stripped and put my clothes in a pile and jumped into the stream. the water was cool, refreshing and clear. i scrubbed myself with a soap cake.
the men where making a fire and helping themselves to the supplies, we had an abundance of food and whisky, good whiskey to. i let them drink and eat and sleep. the parrot flew from man to man, stealing the odd sip from their flagons while they rested. he sucked on a cigar and muttered misanthropic words to any one who would listen.
i watched from the stream, waist high in water, almost a river, i pondered if i should follow the stream to the source, that would be a deviation from the map but it seemed logical and in a way intuitive. i'll talk to the parrot about it later.
at dusk we smoked the opium, i lay back and closed my eyes, the men all settled in their delirium, me fading towards my finite peace, a moment of total pain free existence. the bird had eaten a chunk and fallen over onto my sleeping bag, his eye's half closed and his beak drooling, the red feathers standing out against the rest of his black plumage. all was well. i allowed myself to be swallowed by the comfort of darkness and dreams.
in the morning we all had mild headaches, the men looked somewhat sad and melancholy but determined, they were professionals, i watched them clean up our traces, clear away the symbols of our excess and tie down the packs, and trunks.
the parrot was in a foul mood, 'fucking hell, it's far to bright today, it's okay for you, you have sunglasses, i need a pair, i have very sensitive eyes, humans think they are the only creatures who suffer, yet they are the only creatures who inflict suffering,' on and on he raved.
i had made an executive decision to follow the stream, it would eventually become a river and that's possibly where we stood a better chance of finding the mutations.
it had been over a year since the first reports, strange hybrid animals, creatures with distorted dna, i had gathered the reports and using my astrophysicist training had identified the connection with solar flare activity and a massive gamma radiation pulse that had broken through the earths atmosphere. the mutations were probably result of that. some sort of mutation occurred with an accelerated evolutionary leap. i needed hard evidence.
the sightings consisted of a tribe of half ape humans, a massive insect described as 'a stick insect the size of a tree', some weird giant preying mantis, a flying crocodile, and a translucent jellyfish that appeared at night radiating ultra violet waves.
but it was actually the monkeys and apes i was interested in, these may give insight into human evolution. the sightings were not very specific about the area, but they were constant, despite several sources.
after a good four hours along the stream we stopped for a moment, i needed to inspect some prints down by the stream.
that's when i first heard the screams, looking up i could see about twenty massive baboon like creatures, they towered above us and with their long arms and hands grabbed some of the men. they had bulbous noses and looked slightly ridiculous. i grabbed my camera, the parrot was squawking, 'jesus getta load of their noses.'
we watched as the men still slightly doped out stumbled and ran around, one by one the monkey men took them, grabbing them with their big hands. the parrot sat on my shoulder, 'freaking apes, look at those hooters capt. jesus, ever see anything like that?'
i grabbed his beak with my left hand and carried on taking photo's. suddenly one of the apes stood before me, he sniffed the air and leered down at me.
'i said you needed a bath' the parrot said as he flew off.
the monkey picked me up and held me in front of it's eyes. he sniffed again, 'you strange monkey boy smell bad.'
the next thing i knew i was flung aside like a rag doll. i watched them march away into the jungle with their prisoners. only a handful of men were left.
later in the evening we spoke about what had become of the prisnors, why were they taken and us left behind. we spoke about a rescue attempt, we could follow them, tracking them would be easy, they were big and left a noticable trail.
but instead we smoked the opium and fell into our deep peaceful trances.

trapped on the raft i watched the men go slowly mad, the emotional stress took it's toll on everyone, but compounded with thirst and hunger the men were driven to the extremes f human behavior. being captain had it's disadvantages, despite the respect and trust i had built on the ship here on the raft at the limits of life the men were pushed far beyond normal conditions and in such circumstances often acted out of character, in fact they were all teetering on the edge of sanity, hallucinating wildly and suffering from forms of paranoia and delusion. the main concern was cannibalism which had been held at bay by my vigilance but i was getting tired and my judgement was questionable. i was now thinking there was a conspiracy by the remaining crew to eat me. my sword had kept them at bay, but i was exhausted and weak, it was only a matter of time.
we had attempted to catch a fish but the only fish in this ocean were the sharks that trailed our raft. one morning three great whites circled us for a few hours, one was the size of a small ship itself and i contemplated dark thoughts that i had to fight to suppress, anything was better than this slow death.
the sun ravaged us and our skin was blistered and raw, there was no respite from it's powerful rays, our beards had grown long our hair wild and we looked like animals and behaved less. i was laying down eyes closed waiting for a air of hands to wrap around my neck and another to hold me down, but instead each man was to exhausted to move, hunger and dehydration would get us before the sharks.
it was the cabin boy who saw it first, a shape on the horizon, a vessel. we paddled towards her yelling and waving our tattered clothes as flags, the vessel saw us and changed course. we were saved.
a Norwegian crew hauled us on board, washed us and fed us and put us to bed.
after a week at sea we were all up and about, grateful and attempting to communicate to our rescuers, who were generous to a fault.
their captain was captain urloff a serious and introverted soul, his cabin filled with books and maps, both ancient. i scanned his books, mostly esoteric, books about lost cities, sunken kingdoms and sea mysteries. i was looking at a chart on urloffs desk, it plotted a chart towards the south americas, a small string of islands of the peruvian coast. there was a small x and some numbers, coordinates indicating our destination.
urloff stood in the doorway, 'it's an island, skull island. we will be there in under a week, weather permitting.'
'what's there.'
'it's not gold captain mission, we are not treasure hunters., we believe the island is a portal, a gateway into another dimension. there are many such places on the earth, we have reason to believe this is one.' he hovered on the doorway and then plunged into the room, i moved away from his desk as he shuffled around moving bit's of papers and turning pages in his books.
'this portal on skull island is the gateway to the cosmos, we believe that it is the entrance to another world.'
i laughed, 'i have heard of such things and i do not doubt their existence, in fact i have had my own experience with these enigmas but why would your crew agree to such a venture.'
urloff smiled, 'these men are not sailors, they are physicists and philosophers, seekers of truth, our research has taken 7 years of planning and systematically checking and cross referencing, many of us have never even travelled across water. i am a seafaring man but i am a scientist as well.'
'incredible urloff.'
'forgive me mission, i must write my journal now.'
'yes of course,' i walked out, heading to the deck to get some air.

the following days were spent reading and acquainting myself with the crew, they were indeed scientists, they enjoyed sharing their hopes with my crew and their ideas were beyond anything i had ever heard. they said that space was filled with holes some of which connected up, they claimed that if you found one hole it would lead to another but that time and space can be crossed like this. they called them snake holes. i didn't doubt them but my men all looked quite bemused by the idea. they were more interested in returning to land and seeing their families again.

i was sleeping in my quarters when the bell rang, land had been sighted. i ran on the deck up to the lookout. he waved and pointed starboard, there was skull island, surrounded by fog, we could see it's jagged peaks and some treetops. uloff smiled, and passed me his binoculars, 'look captain, see how beautiful it looks.'
it was indeed beautiful and mysterious, like something from a fantasy, i looked along the coastline for any signs of life, nothing, but there was something a small trail of black smoke. something was not right though, the wind direction was east, the direction we were traveling in, but this trail of smoke was traveling into the wind, from the west.
'urloff, somethings not right, look at this smoke.'
he studied the scene for a moment.
'get the men armed, it's heading towards us.' he said quietly.
there was not much in the way of ammunition and arms, a scientific expedition, i was given a machine gun, and a couple of grenades. the men were all positioned, we waited with urloff and myself taking turns looking at the black trail heading towards us, the smoke trail seemed to break up a bit, scattering into smaller parts, and then a few minuets later i could make out they were insects, a swarm of insects, large ones, huge ones, heading towards our boat. they were man size and they did not look friendly. they were in firing range but we were reluctant to shoot until we knew what their intentions were. they hovered over us, making bussing noises and clicking to one another. the noise was loud and overwhelming. they had huge bug eyes and were quite hairy like monkeys, their silver wings were about two meters across, and they had large protrusions that i think may have been mouths. they stayed with us for about an hour and then began to return to the island. but a crew member who was manning the harpoon fired at the last remaining insect, the harpoon penetrated it's face and the bug fell to the ocean.
'what are you doing?' urloff cried.
'we need samples,' he was already towing in the bug.
'no, no,' uloff yelled.
suddenly we faced the swarm again, this time they were not as friendly.
almost in a matter of seconds they had wrecked havoc upon the men, their strange mouths emitted a high frequency noise that exploded the brain should it get to close. the deck was covered in brains, and awash with blood and twitching headless bodies. i dived below to hide, the last thing i saw was urloff running towards his quarters while a huge insect followed him. the buzzing sound drowning out the screams of men. i hid in one of the store rooms placed my hands over my ears. the boat rocked from side to side violently, for a moment the sound penetrated and my head started to pound, i prepared to die but the wave of sound passed over and soon all was still.
i pushed open the door and looked at the staircase, a body lay halfway down, at the foot lay a decapitated head and a pile of pink goop which i took to be a brain.
it had exploded from the inside. i walked carefully up the steps.
the horror that awaited i was unprepared for. bodies and brains lay over the deck, smeared in blood. there was no sign of the awful insects. the boat itself was undamaged, sonic attack.
urloff appeared from below deck, he was clutching a sword in one head, in his other was a gun. he looked dazed as he walked towards me, kicking a brain away with his boot. he walked passed me, straight to the side where he threw up overboard.
i patted him on the back, 'i'll get you some water.'
he stared at the island.

after we had thrown the bodies and their brains overboard we washed the blood of the deck and attempted to scrub the surfaces with soap but the work was hard and our hearts were not in it at all, plus the size of the vessel meant scrubbing for most of the day, eventually we settled for getting the solid mass of the ship and leaving the wood stained in blood.
urloff smoked a joint with me, he looked pensive and i knew he was contemplating the island.
'i have to go mission. i owe it to my men.'
'i understand.'
i assisted him with the rowing boat, packing it with supplies and water. i handed him my gun. 'your need is greater than mine.'
he saluted me and began rowing. i watched him land on the island through the glasses, and wave again. he walked up the yellow sand, and disappeared into the jungle.

i retired to my quarters and fell into a deep sleep. i would work out my situation after a rest. i dreampt of the jungle, strange creatures loomed out from the branches of trees, eyes staring at me, i was surrounded by invisible creatures, they made a chanting sound, whispering and the ground began to tremble, there was a vibrating sound, a buzzing. i woke with a fright. i was covered in sweat, i threw on a sarong and drank some water from the jug. it was night time, i lit a candle and sat down, i would need to consult the maps in urloffs room. making my way towards the room i became aware of the noise, a buzzing, it was softer than my dream but it was there, i could feel it more than hear it, as it send sound waves through my body. each step towards the captains quarters brought the sound nearer, there was no doubt where it came from. his door was half open, he stood there in his long trench coat, his body thin and his hands and boney fingers holding a volume flicking through it thoughtfully but his head...with it's big bug eyes.