i don't like these moronic politicians, i don't like what they say, what they whine on and on about, incessant nonsense, funding this, funding that, economic gymnastics, number crunching, sound bytes and photo ops, it's all strategy and smoke and mirrors, all the same, all the time, those that really think there's a difference are kidding themselves, wake up australia, don't fucking vote for these two, don't vote green don't vote full stop, it just encourages them.
dumbocracy rules supreme, the best system from a bad bunch but it's not democracy, newspapers manipulate, the left creeps forwards with it's trendy lost causes, the right moves forwards with it's fear, there is no escape from it unless you unplug.
these people will sell your souls, they will take your spirit and crush it in an oppressive infrastructure of law and penalties, strange invisible strings that control and manipulate the cash crop. you.

i'm having a strange day, early morning i'm driving to a place i don't wanna go, a place where they stuck a knife in my back and then wept at my demise, a place where not one person ever stood up for what was right and just, instead like most of the zombies i have come across they took the easy way out, appeasement. yeah just like king kong, management needs a sacrifice, yeah put me in a cute dress, i'll be fay ray for you. but like all cute blonde's tied to a stake, the monster sooner or later falls in love with the victim and now they are calling me to return. i do my job, i leave and head back to mission control for a while, i play frisbee with pansy, i wander through the corridors and attempt some cleaning, the sun streams in, the trees look good, the sofa feels fine, my head feels fine, my heart feels fine, i do some meditations, i contemplate my last snuff song, unfinished and sitting there waiting for some closure, snuff music should be finished in two months, i have to do some vocal stuff and add some guitars. design a cover and write some sleeve notes, then it's done and i can move on to my next musical project.
i'm driving again, listening to something called white magick, it's beautiful, fuck, i can't believe the consistency here, it's really really good. these are songs, they are sad and sublime, these songs will only be appreciated by a few old souls, they will be heard and played but only a handful of quiet gentle souls will get it. it's the music i'd like to die to. the singing is perfect, such subtle harmonies, such magnificent structures. when i reach my destination i stop the car and listen to the end of the track, i can't leave it, it tears me apart.

i'm driving back and forwards, i'm tired, micro sleeps, i'm sleeping at traffic lights, i'm sleeping at give way signs, i'm tired and feeling empty, my battery is low, i'm in need of some kind of respite, it's been a long long day, a long long month, a long long long life. some one from perth is calling me, a girl i met a few years ago, she wants to see me, she's offering me a ticket, money in my account, but i know where it's all leading, a lost weekend, another girl another planet, the thought of it makes my head hurt, i feel trapped, i just wanna fucking keep driving and find some where safe to hide out. yeah perth sounds nice, all expenses paid, but honestly this woman would drive me mental in half and hour, i'll be looking for a way out, climbing up the walls, ripping the fucking program from her circuit, she's a lost cause really. i ignore the calls, ignore the texts and ignore my own selfish drive for isolation.

suddenly it's late and i miss hp, i really need to see her, need some sense of security and fucking perspective, everything seems to have fallen away, it's just loss after loss after loss. as i reach for the phone val calls, we lock in some recording days. i remind myself who i am, what i am, he's re affirmiong my mission. i'm a front line front man in a trans dimentional pop band, i have a message for you all, snuff music is coming. then hp calls, we make a tentative play date. i feel better now. i have to.

i miss steve as well, i realise now how lonely i am in this world, it's a handful of people that i can relate to now, a handful that share my passions, not many at all,
sometimes it's just joyous to spend time with those people, it makes me feel sane. there's not many people that can take plant medicine and listen to 'low' and feel the same, it makes me feel like i am worth something other than a paycheck, a face, a fucking eccentric old man who lives with a dog in a house near the beach. i gotta get focused now, get the surf happening, ride the waves, get the mental clarity, physical health organised, i got be the carrier of the message, i gotta fight and fuck my way through the bullshit and get me some liberation from the maya that drags us all down.

later i'm alone, quiet time, i'm about to text miss cupcake when she fires one first, it's the photo, all looks pretty good, a little tail turns out to be a cigarette, mmm, maybe just a hand, i don't know, to me it's just a blob. but i'm happy for her, she's got what she wanted and despite the circumstances i'm very very proud of her, i do love her and just want her to be happy and feel good about herself.
me, i'm feeling kinda strange, a bit sad actually. but it will pass, tomorrow when i throw myself into the surf it will all be washed away and i will emerge anew. my needs are not hers, my needs are specifically attuned to my great work, music and words, one day i will spawn the girl, jakob's counter point, i see her face sometimes, dark and mysterious, a sirens voice, an artistic heart, a rebel with cuase, a fighter and an artist, fire in her eyes, water in her smile, earth upon her hands and feet and air inhabits her spirit, no one can pin her down no one knows her, no one tames her, she is a wild spirit but her fathers daughter, and i know she calls me, but i think i have some time. i don't know why this impulse is so strong, miss cupcake has birthed it, but i think it has been there for about 10 years but now it is beating louder, everything is coming into being, the 2012 is reaching back to us, dragging us all into the interconnection, that girl is calling from my future, she is reaching backwards in time and space and her hand is directed at me. i can see this very clearly.