i eat an amazing meal with miss cupcake, she asks me a serious question and i'm put on the spot, she asks what i read in her face, and i have to be considered here, now is not the time for such a conversation yet we are close, the time is near.
'you have lived a full life, experienced a lot more than perhaps you should for your age but you are entering a period of change where you are beginning to understand that things don't have to be so hard and that you don't have to take the hard road. it's a choice.'
i leave it at that but there is more that i need to say, i am restrained.
we see 'the killer inside me' which is brutal and disturbing, i don't enjoy the film but it is well made and it's left me confused about a few things, i understand he is mad, insane but i don't understand her attraction to him. the bad boy is just another psychopath, who manipulates and engineers people, where's the appeal?
and why do women like that sort of unimaginative destruction.
because they can change their lover, because the danger turns them on?
or is it because they are riddled with self loathing and negative self esteem that they need some one to validate that for them. is that not madness as well?
maybe not, cupcake thinks not, me i am just confused by the killer inside me. for some strange reason i don't wanna sleep alone tonight. where are my friends with benefits all gone. fucking abandoned in my hour of need i tells ya.