Wednesday, March 30, 2011

the goddess opened herself to me, she enflamed my heart with her arrows and swallowed me inside herself and i found myself in her court.
exquisite pain, pleasure and all earthly delights lay in abundance, hordes of naked bodies gorging on one another, the air was electric with heat and energy, from where i stood it looked like a mass of flesh, not several individual bodies but one mass of writhing pulsating flesh, a body of limbs, torsos and heads lost in an sensual tangle, all single focused on pleasure and pain for this was the kingdom of desire. like a pornographic version of goya, i could see all the garden of earthly delights stretch from my feet to the horizon. i wandered onwards, stepping over bodies and limbs, a hand grabbed my ankle and i shook it loose as i continued. it was pointless attempting to walk out or away, the scene lasted forever.i could hear them, moaning and groaning, a loud throb of noise, all in unison, like a giant insect. i realised i had walked to far into the mass, i was lost now, never able to find my way back. i had been swallowed up and lost.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

when i left the hive mind it took me two years to find out what being an individual means, i extracted various constructs that i had inherited and then the one's indoctrinated into me. finally i was free, free to make my own decisions.
'but you always had free will. everyone does.'
'it's boring now, i feel like i'm repeating myself but the message is clear, you can never have free will unless you are free. every discussion you ever make is influenced by a number of conditions from your past, therefore your not free to make the decision, your programmed to make it.'
'how do you get free?'
'magick or plant medicine?'
meanwhile back in the hive the species are coping, they are determined that socialism or some middle class communism will save the day, call it green politics, just like the reds called it national socialism. green politics is a wank.
it's the biggest con since the UN. in fact green political idealism is another dumb fascist ideal. this time its gift wrapped in some fluffy environmental message but the threat is the same. you cannot be an individual, diversity is dangerous. it has nothing to do with the planet.
the real revolutionary political structure would be my new political party, the ecology.
the ecology is just a bunch of people who know their place in the big picture, they have the means to direct humanity and progress while balancing diversity and individuality with sustainability and spiritual connection with the universe. everyone who is really free, will be a member of this party, there's room for everyone unless your carrying around an old outdated ideology.
in the ecology capitalist work with communists because each respects the others place as a diverse meme carrying individual, the capitalist knows that they have to respect the resources as that is what makes a capitalist, the communist is free to spread his wealth around. the ecology is represented by a picture of the earth with a silluette of a tree, teeming with life. around the earth is a dolphin, a whale, some wild animals and two humans. this is not the environment. this is the ecology.
ecology takes in slow time, it understands geology, it has an alister reynolds approach to existence.
environmental movements are ego driven, the need to survive is the egos prime directive, that's why the environmental movement can't succeed. the ecology movement cares not for survival only for life.

Monday, March 28, 2011

and me, i can't stop sleeping, easing into strange dreams, movement, waking up wandering mission control, i watch some late night infomercial on a new mathematics program that can make your children mindless automatons who know all about numbers and yet have the personality of a vacuum cleaner. i moan silently, is this the fucking future. anyways late night tv is insulting me so i switch it of return to my book, a story about a time machine repair man, set in perth, it's not bad, not good, i'm indifferent to the whole thing. i eventually return to my dream where things are never as they seem, i don't recall it now, there were a lot of people in it, lots of movement and energy. i get up early and haunt the small sleepy town, looking for a hot drink that is not coffee or tea i settle on a hot chocolate, read the newspapers, walk the dog, we end up back at mission control where i close my eyes and fall asleep again. sleep sleep sleep, there's to much sleep in my life, my dreams are better than my waking life, which is just work work work, my head hurts, my body is storing fat again, perhaps it knows something i don't. i see the internet is filled with end game scenario's. we all know where its headed, seems like little point in waking up sometimes.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

i felt the change in my body as soon as the virus entered, cruising around my bloodstream, swarming through my mind, reordering its contents, extreme mutation burnt through my neocortex, synapses began to reformat the brain itself, my vision began to flicker, just like a bad tv set in a cheap motel.
when i awoke i found my body had distorted itself slightly, i was longer, my hands and feet were webbed and i had strange slits along my neck, they looked like gills or some sort of weird breathing organ. god knows what had occurred on an internal level but i felt different. i ran to the bathroom where the only mirror reflected the awful truth. i had changed dramatically around the face, my eyes were much wider, although they still seemed out of focus and somewhat strangely unable to get a precise fix on things, the flickering continued as i could see several different layers on top of one another. it took a while to process but eventually i realised i was seeing the various time lines of events, i could see into the the fourth dimension. this vision gave me access to the flow of time, it took considerable skill to fine tune it and stay focused upon the present. i noticed several other immediate differences, the eyes them selves where like insect eyes, millions of lenses encased in a black goggle like structure, my ears where slightly pointed but not inhuman but the strangest thing was the tongue which was forked and very long, it also was highly sensitive to the vibrations within the air, i could taste the various smells and scents from the whole street. but th biggest shock came from the sight of a red and very long tail that seemed to stretch out in a slight curl upwards and finished with a prong, the classic demon tail. i recoiled at first but began to see how i could manipulate it, eventually the momentary panic subsided and i just eased into the idea. another strange thing was how my skin would change, chameleon like and adapt almost perfectly to the environment. i dressed myself sat in the laboratory in front of my computer terminal. a sequence of genes displayed themselves. i ran an analysis, and watched the results jump across the screen.
the gene bomb had succeeded but the results were somewhat unstable, and unpredictable. everything determined upon the junk dna already existing in the body. darwin was right, we are all one life form.
i could still feel significant internal changes so i put myself through the mir and did several tests upon myself. the organs had all changed slightly, lungs had halved in size, my heart had split in half and now formed two hearts protected by a ribcage in which was re enforced with some sort of thick muscle wall. there were other organs that had manifested, i didn't understand what they did, but they were situated all through my body in sac like structures. i hovered over the screen reading the results wondering how alien i had become. i looked at the data sheet, my chemical composition had changed minutely although i was still a carbon based life form from earth i was now a composite. the virus had was composed of various designer made genetic sequences, but the codes have to match various junk codes in order to activate. a man cannot become a flower, just because our dna almost matches, the junk material has to fit the introduced viral sequence to activate the chain and then only if the virus fit survival parameters. dna has a life of it's own, it wants to survive.
i sat back, this was possibly the most important scientific discovery since darwin, it was the final piece to his puzzle.
if it's made public it could start wars or end wars, it was a massive responsibility. i could feel it bearing down upon me, through all time. this gave me an idea, which when tested failed. i could not see myself in the time line of the fourth dimension, therefore i had no idea if i would survive what ever actions i should choose. one thing was certain, no matter what way you look at this, it was the end of humanity.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

death blow to my head, caffeine detox, thought police scan my head looking for the bar code. my defensive shields are worn thin, i'm engaged in a battle of pills, my fierce vision distorts, that heart of crystal sends out a pulse that disables all mental activity attempting to penetrate, my abductors are drooling hopelessly upon the carpet in their offices. i show little mercy, the thought police are no longer human, they are like zombies, dead to me.
looking for an exit, where there are none, i'm in a cube within cubes, the fucking process of escape baffles me because every time i think outside the cube i'm in another, therefore i abandon thinking. escape like this requires non thinking, mental activity slows down, i use breathing excursuses and the visualisation meditation technique the old man taught me, i loose myself in the process. i'm no longer entrapped but i am no longer me, i'm free but i have always been free, nothing has changed. i'm no longer in my body, i can travel by thought. the cube walls begins to dissolve.
i'm in a huge complex akin to a beehive, cubes everywhere, zombies working away, at their offices. i see them punching zeroes and ones into the terminals, they live in a binary duality. it's darkness attempts to swallow its light. it's light attempts to enlighten it's darkness. i see through their veils, all is the same, all is illusionary and facade.
the transcendence takes me out into singularity, i can do anything here, escape the cubes, escape the duality, escape myself, but there's no end to this and it would be pointless to try, for the act of trying would render me out of whack with the nature of the universe. it's not about trying, it's just about doing. doing this doing that, you do what you have to do, trying just makes doing harder.
the cubes are now disappearing, they unfold into nothing, the zombie army begin to disappear and soon they are vanished. i bring myself back into my body, i walk out from the ruins, never to return, never to look back upon that imprisonment. why look back when you can walk over flowers under blue skies and feel the sun upon your skin. why look back at a burning city, why turn your body into sodium chloride. why ignore the whispers of angels?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

martin i miss you, it hit me this evening, we had some great times together, really good, the cold water current that stinking hot day at bondi, taking you out in the wave for the first time, the arthouse episode on my birthday those were classic, going to see the cure man, it was good to see you let go and go nuts. you had a good time here and some challenges, that's okay it's good to have an occasional challenge becuase then you get perspective about what's really important. times important martin, that's the choice i made over money and career. i been down that road and it's nuts unless you have millions and the ability to be creative with it. time is the one resource we are all running out of and it's the most precious, you can't buy it, sell it, fuck with it (without it fucking you) and yet people chose cash over it. anyways i had some time with you and i'm grateful, your a great brother dude. you really are. thanks i'll miss you.
my brother has returned to london and i am once more alone, family wise. it's true i never spent much time with him, we move in very different circles but it was reassuring to know he was nearby, i feel the void he created, he's a popular guy, well loved by people and has many connections here, whereas i have but a few.
i guess life's like that, it just changes and ultimately you realise your on your own. i'm on my own although i have very good friends, and the great dog pan. pan is a great teacher, he taught me unconditional love. he's a beautiful soul.
i couldn't have travelled down my journey without pan being in my life, the road i travelled along needed the lesson pan taught me generally people don't teach me anything much now, except disappointment. that's why i keep my circle tight and close. i have great friends. i should however expand my circle and bring in new ones, it's time to be a little inclusive.

Monday, March 21, 2011

the days have passed me by, i was there and now i am here, time flowed around me and i never really caught up with it, i found myself abandoned and abandoning everything, i was lost but free, i was alone but well connected. love had pulled me down upon my knees, like a gravity. i was weeping from it's lessons, it had brought me humility and some sad memories. but it was indeed not the truth, just a point to cross, a station to a station. love is my mantra but there's much more than love, much more.
it's the last temptation of christ, it's the safest place to be, it's divine and i am blessed to have dwelt in that oasis on my travels. i seek it still but i don't search. one can only let go and follow the star that must loose everything to find truth. one must die a million times, one has choice not to, and some like me don't.

the weekend passed, it felt like it had been raining for forty days and nights, it was biblical, roads submerged, the oceans angry waves, the sky crying out, vision blurred i drove and drove across the town, to bondi where my friend lilly lives. i have not seen her in a while and she had been through a difficult time, i always like seeing lilly, she's truly switched on, she follows her own star, plus she had been hanging out with a few stars, primal scream, janes addiction and all those cool guys, yeah she's well connected. but today she wanted to hear my cd, so i called in and had tea in her bare apartment.
she decided to listen to the cd one song at a time, and with a chance of location between tracks, so we jumped in her jeep and off we went on a short road trip through the sleepy water logged pockets of bondi watching high risk surfer catch massive waves, watching lovers run for cover, watching the skies and the dead. yes the landscape and the music met some where. it was truly a wonderful afternoon.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

i wrote this e mail to my friend in japan, the professor aka ed.

hey there, i hope you and your family are safe, the news reports indicate a catastrophe that we have not seen anywhere in our lifetimes, i can't even imagine what it must be like on the front line. but you are a front line guy ed, you can get through this and you have the ability to bring others through as well.
drop me a line when you can.
captain mission

this was the reply...

hey captain,

yeah man its wild! its mad max meets wim wenders meets apocalypse now. tokyo has food shortages, theres no gas anywhere, the whole radiation thing.

me and a dude ive done crazy rescues with are on the ball.

weve formed an underground cowboy unit getting supplies to the tsunami villages. we are funded by wealthy bankers, wheeling and deal food, steal and forging access passes, running all our cars on alternative fuels, taking weird routes and basically just stayin off the radar. we can get anywhere.
we are both living off amphetamines, soy bars, coffee and salad, running 30hr straight trips into the worst areas.

man, its crazy in there. the destruction is surresl. its not nasty war or violent stuff, its just everything gently expanded, shifted and moved.

earthquake wasnt o much damage except some roads etc, but the waves been amazing. i will send images soon.

the radiation thing is weird. we have a counter and are watching it as we have to pass thru the zone in and out.. we have the independant backing of a guy at the sheffield reactor and hes collating my reports and says unless its a certain type of material its still well within work safety standards for british workers.
the dodgy material is unlikely to be present as its mainly used for weapons.

theyre wanting my operation to go straight. we have fought govt and fools to stay off the record and in the underground so we can move thru the shadows and get shit done in the gap s where the big players cant.

on the ground they love us because we show up at midnight, dont play the straight game, have fun and leave em smiling. its cool.

if you can drive a 4wd, cope with stress and want the most screwed up holiday imaginable then come on over. its kinda fun. we need good people who are intelligent enough to operate in the black arts of subversive logistics.

the force is strong with us man.

get the message out that on the ground we are not too stressed about the reactor shit. that story is diverting attention from the humanitarian crisis - they are being forgotten. the nuclear thing is the best excuse for people to do nothing - yet now is the time to do everything and change the system. its the trauma we need to change the imprint, w gotta capitalize on the chaos and warp the wetware.
its beautiful in a strange way.

am i ok? im maybe the best ive ever been! finally the game has risen to my level.

love in a time of chaos,

Friday, March 18, 2011

olde captain mission drags his bones into the city to watch 'the book of vilah' play a short set at central station for harmony day. the sound is amazing, filling up the huge hall as people wander from platform to platform, a crowd stops to watch the strange musicians, some one hands out cds. captain mission closes his eyes, and listens as this music washes over him, sad yearning melodies and songs of light and hope, mmm, this music has a power, it's beautiful.
i join the musicians in the bar, val and i are approached by a strange man from an island, he's drunk and talking nonsense but we are gentlemen and send him off on his merry way, happy and satisfied. we discuss why we are always approached by these types.
val says, 'its because we have friendly faces.'
i think it's because they recognise our inner freak natures but i don't say anything, enjoying the idea that i have a friendly face.
later i ride the bus home and a freak stands next to me, he's obviously got some sort of illness as he shouts out his rants and demented raves about, women, buses and days of the week interrupting himself with intermittent laughing, screaming and swearing like demented turrettes whirlwind rage. the bus is packed, i'm squished up in the lsle managing to keep my distance from the strange man screaming and waving his arms around. the bus stops and the driver yells out, 'move down, make some room' so i am forced to stand next to this man who is drooling in anticipation as he begins to yell at me about his strange obscure obsessions. yeah i gotta friendly face.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

snuff music is complete, it is indeed an amazing piece of music, but it is a concept that must be listened to in it's entirety, in sequence and by candle light, preferably in an altered state. it is indeed time for it to be released, i just need to get the art work finished. it's good folks, really good trust me. well i think so anyway. it's something i'm proud off although it's a bit spooky, given certain events.
i attend two days training in client centred training, which is something i actually did twenty four years ago, ironically i've always used this approach in the dept. but it's made me lots of enemies. most people i worked with have no idea about what i am saying or doing with my clients, sometimes i have been transferred as i am so confident in my own knowledge i fight for clients and this makes me a radical in the dept. where the 'yes' people seem to get on and people like me are considered 'trouble makers.'
yet here i was in this room being trained in this old model that i have been talking about for years. suddenly its in fashion. i wish all the idiots who i battled with were here so i could ram this stuff down their necks and watch them choke, the suffering they caused me and my clients due to their petty envy, jealously and control issues. fuckers!
anyway i was vindicated.
i should just stick to music.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

back to the beach, lot's of people splashing around, some japanese people sit quietly watching the waves, i'm chatting with gravey about entering geology time.
'see people think it moves slow but sometimes it moves fast.'
gravey points at some girl on the beach and says, 'i'm in biological time.'
we swim around the ocean pool at newport, i notice the sand has shifted heaps, in fact it's really a different landscape. i'm transfixed by a beautiful woman, japanese i think, she's sitting on her own with a small puppy. she's stunningly elegant, something cat like about her, i want to approach her but we are pulled away by strange forces and gravities that we cannot decline.
later we look down upon the world at the sacred place, we give thanks to jah and praise.
i listen to graveys songs, very good, he's like john lennon mixed in with bob dylan, and then he swings into david bryne and eno, he needs to record his music, its worthwhile.
the whole point of life it seems is to prepare for death and while doing that make the most of being alive. the air tastes sweeter today,despite all my issues with miss cupcake i miss her. she was supposed to be my friend but my standards are high and i can't have friends around me that quibble about their wealth with me, i'm not and never have been interested in money, if i were i would be cash flush. when i was wealthy it never really brought me happiness, not in the same way that friendship did. friendship lasted a lot longer. but in miss cupcakes world money rules and her fear of loosing it rules her. it's primitive to me, i never wanted your bananas miss cupcake, i just wanted you to have a baby safe and sound. my work is done.
scan the papers this morning and see the photographs, the headlines read 'apocalypse' and yeah, it looks like one although it is not really, it's just nature and the force reminding us who's the boss.

ronno the huntsman that lives behind my 'ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars' poster makes an appearance as instructed. he's keeping his side of the deal, letting me know where he is. he's a strange beast, large and long long legs. strange how he chose that poster to make his home.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

the trouble with younger people is they want to get their minds blown, it's an inate desire but they have not got the wisdom yet, they do it through poisonous ways and means that are toxic. to have your mind blown you need to be at least lived a bit. everyone should do it at age 40. it should be compulsory. get perspective on who you are and the nature and intelligence of the universe.
the professor is okay. he's stuck in the country but his wife's family have lots of missing people.

awake, fire e mail off to the professor in tokyo, walk pan, read papers, conducting a scan one gets a taste of the imagery, home i watch some footage, yeah this is just the second, california will be next, all on the same fault line. a lot of cities cities are, it's an energy thing, but later i decide to get a sense of the energy by feeling the surf, so i chose a companion, the guru of surf and my friend gravey. we tune in turn on and cruise down to north palm beach, we do our rituals and then we walk in.
instinct had already warned me what what i could see from the shore was messy, it was unpredictable and tricky and i was scared. i processed that fast and knew that i was completing some devotional aspect and therefore needed to immerse myself and play.
gravey took his board, i my fin and man it was demanding, the energy was all over the place, powerful but chaos, you could get flashes of what came before, hear ghosts man, cries and feel this strange energy wash you away. i can't say it was enjoyable, other surfers where coming out hammered, broken bones, broken surfboards and all in all it was gnarly.
later i stood on the shoreline talking with people about the japanese quake, texts from friends came in, lots of people who had heard snuff music all rang texted and called. it was interesting. anyways i processed my fear a little. life's to short, i'm grateful every day for it.
there's a massive force at work, surfing today gave me perspective, i am a messenger. hear snuff music and make your own mind up.
im in a bar the GPO in sydney, an old post office. i've exhausted all my possibilities, my eyes are straining, i need sleep, i can feel the lethargy creeping into my conversation, it takes me a while but i slip away, i'm not one for bars, crowds or the scene. i've picked up some books, my dad sent me some cash for my birthday. that's so lovely, he's a great dad i guess, he must know i need it bad else i would never have taken it. every thing goes into snuff music, no time to waste on frivolities.
i have to get this finished by march.
i played it back today and there's changes i need to make. i think another two days and we will have it ready for mastering.
i crawl home just in time to hear the news about the tokyo earthquake, jesus it looks bad. this is the sign of the times, it re enforces why i have to get my music out there.

Friday, March 11, 2011

im at a soiree in palm beach, nice place, high up, great views of pittwater, celebrating a famous artists birthday hosted by the woman who hosts the antique show, she is a great friend and a wonderful host. a few interesting folk turn up and we discuss the jimi hendrix guitar at woodstock, the white strat, as being the most valuable guitar in the history of rock. the host walks up and tells a story about how she sold it at an auction, she grabs a catalogue and begins to show us all the various guitars she has sold including eric clapton's ukulele.
anyway it was a nice evening, i ate some corn chips and drunk water, chatted to oggie about alcohol, illness and health. catch up with some friends and then slip away as i am very tired. jules and nic are lovely, jules has bought me a birthday cake.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

the sun has returned for me, on my birthday. notes below:
but today i woke up very early and took pan for a walk, i texted with val who was on an undercover mission and then i returned home, i delivered some healing to my clients and when i returned pan was gone. i noticed the lead had gone so deducted that some one had taken him on a walk and it was gravy. when gravy returned we sat and spake music, for my birthday he played me neil young songs on my guitar, so overwhelmed with joy we wandered down the beach for a swim, later agent stone made me a nice herbal tea and i wandered home.
a trickle of texts arrive. thank you people, yes it's my year, the year of no cash but a great piece of music, mmm, i'm grateful for this, i had spent years attempting to create something i could leave behind that would be my art. snuff music is it. val and i created something meaningful here. it's my first time. val's an old hand, talented and most certainly a genus. i can't imagine working with anyone else producing, he seems to just get it.
mmm there is a lot to say about val and i but i'll tell you all you need to know.
val has a great wife olga who is now part of the deep fix family?
val cooks a mean spinach pie?
he's a genius?
he drives a beetle and will beat you down at cool canasta

Solar Return Sun in 1st House:
While your solar return Sun is now in your 1st house, your greatest opportunities for growth will be for personal growth attained through personal action.

What is this year about?
It’s all about self-discovery. This is a year when you will embark on an internally orientated journey of personal exploration. Your choice of projects, no matter how noble the cause, will be personally motivated. You will set external goals that test the power of your intention, your talents, and your abilities, against the measure of worldly action and achievement. This year, you will determine your own level of satisfaction while you investigate your strengths and expand opportunities.

What does this mean to me?
Your primary focus should be on yourself. This is your time to define your place in the world, cast away the clouds of self doubt and shine. It can be an excellent year to set goals for self-improvement, and personal change, a time when you are the sole arbiter of your path and progress. You can use it to heal from old wounds, both physical and emotional. Self-motivation, spurs you onward, enhancing your self expression and expanding your influence over others. What you start now will tend to grow now and receive wider recognition later. Go for what you want.

How are these energies likely be expressed in my life?
How would you like to express it? Have you a project in mind that only you can accomplish? Whatever you will choose to do, you will likely be doing it in your own way. Your self-respect, will power, intuitive judgment, creativity, and vitality will be enhanced this year. Recharged, you’ll be able to work with greater enthusiasm and authority, and have the energy you desire to work long and hard in order to achieve your goals. If are ill or injured this year, you are likely to heal rapidly. New programs for physical fitness produce better results this year. You can accomplish more of what you set out to do. Get yourself out into sunshine and outdoor activities. Emphasis is likely to be placed on physical improvement, competition, personal achievement, success and recognition.

What should I be cautious about?
During this year you could tend to become oblivious to the needs of others because of your intense personal focus. Be aware of tendencies to appear arrogant or excessively forceful. Develop your more positive qualities and strive to overcome negativities. You could develop a tendency to express yourself in ways which come across to others as being overly dominant. Confidence is one thing, but arrogance is another. Character traits which could alienate others will hinder your ambitions. Moderate these attitudes in order to avoid losing your objectivity. Partnerships of all kind will suffer if you allow yourself to get so narrow in your self focus that it causes you to overlook that while there is an “I” in every “we”, one of those is the other person.

What advice can you recommend?
This is a wonderful opportunity to do something good for yourself. Look at the planetary aspects to your Solar Sun this year to give you a better idea about what you can accomplish. Personal changes and improvements you make now will serve you for the rest of your life.
It’s time for you to test your own strength and self-sufficiency. Get out and make things happen. This is your year to take action rather than wait for others to start things for you. Always communicate your enthusiasm about the importance of your goals to the people around you in positive ways which affirm mutual respect and benefit. This will assist you to keep focused and motivate others to allow you to take your shot. Lastly, listen to your own inner voice. You will know what to do.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

the new studio has a great feel, i can’t sense the ghostly influence interfering with our music, it’s clean and spiritually pure. the authentic gothic feel is missing replaced by something more comfortable and user friendly. it’s a different set up but the space feels perfect at the moment.
anyway we tweak the mantra today, changing some bits, a new mix, a divine ending, it sounds great, i’m proud. finally. something i’m certain will outlast me and stand on it’s own as art. i dedicate it to the universe whom i write for these days. apart from being jakob’s father i came here to make this music.
i’m plugged in now, my muse and me are together, mixed in with val, who gets me, the deep fix are evolving rapidly, he knows and understands the words i write, he understands the sound, the vibration of the song. he gets me in a strange spiritual way.
these are the strangest days, long and languid but with an edge, like the world is collapsing around us but we don’t care. financially it’s hard, i’m fucking really struggling now but i been in a worse spot and it don’t really bother me as at least i am doing something productive with my time rather than nothing or wandering around eating junk in shopping malls.

i watched david attenbough with evan, we watched him explain the cambrian period, where from trilobites life emerged from the water. some of these creatures were 3 meters long, encased in an exoskeleton that fortunately limited their growth but life evolved to emerge with spinal columns on the inside and they proved more successful.
a geological period is vast, expansing so much time humans just can’t really comprehend their insignificance. this is aliester reynolds country, where he lets you get an impact of scale on a galactic scale. evolution occurred slowly back then, it’s speeding up now i believe, mutant changes in genetics alter the code, perhaps from solar flare activity or a combination of astronomical events that influence us, perhaps the hand of an architect, who the hell really knows anything. and that’s my point. that’s the point. who really know’s anything, belief is a meta program, so chose carefully what you load it with.

‘beat the reaper’ by josh bazell is a great read. a fast paced crime novel set in a hospital, filled with amazing dialogue and foot notes, i guarantee this will entertain you and amuse you. i read it in two days, and can’t wait to see the movie despite the brutality and violence.

i also saw ‘the girl who did something on her computer’ dvd. very good film. it was the second part of the trilogy and i went to put the third on but it had no english subtitles which was very annoying as i wanted to see how it was all connected up at the end. however these are great stories and very mature, worth watching if you like a crime drama with a very sexy protagonist, that lady can play with my computer any day.

Friday, March 04, 2011

down in the new studio, the deep fix cut a new tune, ohh it's very good, it's got everything a good song needs, a hook, a nice piano bit, some groovy bits and some mystical messages, plenty of nice harmonies and surprise backing singer extrodinare. yeah the deep fix are a mysterious outfit, val and i work from the same dna musically, he's got all the chops and talent and i have the writing and vision and dodgy vocals, we make good music, diverse tunes with interesting bits and pieces, it's a thrill to be able to make music like this, i love the process and i'm getting good at it incrementally.
the new song is called 'mantra' and although i had a chorus for it i was very unsatisfied with its sound and content so in the tradition of spontaneity and intuition i used a sanskrit chant.

Rama: Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama

Rough Translation: 'Om and Victory to Rama (the self within), victory, victory to Rama.'

Rama was an Avatar who came several thousand years ago. His sole purpose was to show how a person should live a Divine Life while living in a human body. Mahatma Gandhi practiced this mantra for over 60 years. This mantra will 'take one across' the ocean of rebirth. In a more immediate way, it is most powerful in reducing negative karmic effects no matter in which life they might have occurred. I have also had a powerful spiritual healing experience (for another person), while using this mantra intensely.