an american nightmare descends upon europa, the strange cult of power wielded by the world economic forum, the united nations the world health organisation which i have watched for 30 years encroach upon free thinking civilisation has now struck hard and swift, with covid, with war with media control and the old adage of divide and conquer. the plan was always depopulation, control and compliance, but the method was an evil birthed from master manipulators under the guise of environmentalism and techno feudalism. 

the nazi's now rule the planet. 

from ratlines to the vatican, from the v2 to apollo, from islamic alliance to the green movement, from blm to the silicon valley, from social media to the medical fascists, from the depths of hollywood to the woke and lost, from the pink swastika to the black sun, the nazi's rule the world.

i've always said, it's a spiritual battle, its the war inside out, it's not easy to chose a side because the crusade is blurred.

but it may be the devil

it may be the lord

you're going to have to serve somebody.

    

the best music i have heard in fucking years, take my word for it, i don't lie. amazing.

strange old day today, i wake up through the night at 2 hour intervals, not sure why. eventually i find myself training at dawn, my trainer does some weird new lifting thing with me, it forces me to use muscles that are lazy and it's exhausting, painful and very difficult. i push through, pain is horrible, it's intense but i push through, shouting aloud as i do. eventually it all ends and i return home. later i have to take the car to get a new windshield, the windshield has a huge crack in it thanks to central coast roads, potholes everywhere. this takes a few hours so i wander over to the local shops and sit in a library reading my tanith lee book, 'eva fairdeath,' which reminds me of early mike moorcock. in fact sometimes i am cast back to my early teenage years reading moorcock for the first time, being captivated and loving the adventure, the strangeness and the characters ambiguous natures. 

 

colin wilson goes on to look at the way over population plays a part upon human tensions, resulting in violence, he suggests even animals will suicide if their numbers become dense, whereas humans often murder one another.  it's all about regulating tension. he cites many studies where animals have also been cruel to their own kind, often for reasons of requiring space, sustainability of the tribe, this is an altruistic motive carried out in barbarity. he looks at the way the adrenal gland is effected by tension and over population, as if their is a biological reason why people kill. the bottom line is it seems hardwired in us, even the victim can become the oppressor, as history shows us. 
my thoughts are and always have been beat your program, always rewire it and write your own, that's got to be the fundamental mission if you want to hack reality. it's not easy but it's do able. eventually you get to a point where it becomes easy. letting go is part of this, as you hack reality you have to let go of parts that don't serve or nourish you. 
i'd make a dreadful killer, it's not in my nature but i can handle myself if i have to. the point is to avoid this situation as much as possible. avoid anyone who can't control their impulse to violence, usually a good sign is witnessed by the ability these people may have in letting go itself. knowing when to let go is a subtle skill just like knowing when to hang on. 

wilson suggests the ability to adapt to stress increases control and reiterates crime is the easy way, a short cut.

he also looks at the death urge advocated by freud but dismisses this and moves on to authoritarianism particularly in institutions like marriage and bureaucracy but later writes about the sci fi author a. e. van vogt who was also wrote a number of 'brilliant' psychological studies one being, 'the right man' which looks at self esteem and how that plays a huge role in crime bared out in abusive relationships. peter sellers apparently suffered from this condition. 

i'm looking forwards to see if wilson touches upon the spiritual side of things within mankind, it seems pretty obvious to me, two forces are at work within every human, the war within. confront the shadow and transmute that and 'crime' becomes duty. for in this age everything is inverted, and crime seems to be perfectly justified if you are in authority, a govt. a police force, a politician yet for the disempowered it means you are evil. i don't support the idea that people should commit crime or any criminal activity but i do think we need to look at the nature of crime and what it constitutes. for example when the democratic party in the usa send money to ukraine and it's invested in crypto currency and then sent back to the democratic party laundered to fund their elections is that a crime or just business as usual. is it a crime that tax payers money was used, that the dems who invested made millions and amassed a personal fortune while fighting a proxy pointless sham war. is it a crime that billions of dollars of hardware paid for by the taxpayer was left in afghanistan, US forces abandoned, allies who faced certain death by the taliban abandoned, meanwhile the military industrial complex asks for more money to fund itself from, you guessed it the tax payer. 

is that criminal, no it's all legitimised by the powerful. 

crime these days is sanctioned by our global elites who pulled of the biggest scam in the history of humanity, after 9-11, the covid scam, a complete redistribution of wealth from the poor and the middle to the rich. 

poor colin wilson never lived to see what crime had evolved to corporate crime, institutionalised crime, experimental vaccines forced upon global populations resulting in the cure being far more dangerous than the desease, murder by proxy. i'm only on chapter two and i have already seen the limits of thinking and i really respect colin wilson as a deep philosopher who worked outside the box. however i must continue reading and see where things lead.

i take a break. this week i have surfed each morning but today i am late, and arrive at the beach for a short play, time is tight. the initial few moments within the ocean are freezing, and kick start my old heart, it's a shock to say the least but wow, after submerging oneself the body adapts and today has perfect waves. i have to negotiate that white stuff, push beyond to the back where everything is crystal. it's glorious as i ride wave upon wave, feeling tension lift, feeling clarity, feeling invigorated. 

trapped in the red shift, the eternal paradox
you cast out love for some weird lust with a girl from nowhere at a midnight hour.

you push that sex impulse like a machine.

it's a chemical virus you can't tame or inoculate

it's life energy depletion for a moment of bliss

addicts usually over dose

when the parasitic compulsion overtakes the host

killed by a red witch, unsympathetic magic you bleed out like a phase 

on infertile ground feeding impossible flowers

only the fool and the hanged woman know what it's like to go out swinging.

ah here comes the cold propulsion engines, giving panther mountain by improvisation.

it's all made up of dreams and illusions, that's what they say, eventually you can weave them together and create whatever you want

but is it real or part of the simulation

the answer to that is

does it matter?

 

 

early morning, early day, i grab my coffee and listen to the birds. they are announcing a day filled with possibility. my garden is wild, it does need a bit of a trim, grass is almost knee high. my deck is covered in debris, the wind yesterday ravaged the area. 

i had a dream i was interviewing patrick henningson, we had met by chance and became involved in a huge discussion with another person i can't recall. i was attempting to argue patrick has a very warped view of middle east politics and views it only from a western perspective, whereas he would have a much better understanding if he understood geographic psychology he may understand the wider issue of who is a threat and why instead of always choosing the obvious. it's a good conversation and we seem to reach an understanding. he's a bit egotistical and detached but eventually i gain his trust and respect. we agree on most other issues and end up having a few drinks. it's weird, i just hope that idiot basil valentine is not the other guy as i really dislike him. 

i finished 'vicious' and it's such a clever book, but the ending was, well weak and anti climatic. however i enjoyed most of it and 'sister ray' well, that songs forever changed for me.

i'm also reading colin's book 'a criminal history of mankind,' and this is a heavy trip. to cope with the sheer horror and the detailed analysis i only read one chapter and then start a different book and when i finish that return to the next chapter of 'criminal history.'

so the first bit colin suggests that the one factor that compels man to commit crime is 'it's a short cut.' which when you think about it is not only true, it's obvious. then he says submission and dominance in relationships often plays a psychological role. here he looks at killers whom work in pairs and how one is dominant and the other submissive, colin splits it further into various levels of submission. he also looks at the way masses of people can commit the most horrific crime (often murder) he looks at warfare and suggests perhaps since inhabiting cities man is tense and wired to survival, gradually being pushed towards primal urges. 

depressing but here's the thing, animals don't murder.

 

commitment, sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't, what is it i find myself wondering?

for me, it's a feeling. 

it's not something tied up in material wealth, security or control, it's a feeling about soul type connections and mental satisfaction. i'd be lying if i said sex did not factor into the equation, but that's usually an expression of the other persons qualities. mostly it's about taking a risk. a leap over an abyss, hoping to be caught in open arms or accept the fall. i put a lot of expectation upon being caught because no one sane wants to fall. and wether expectation is wrong or right, it's just natural because no one wants to die emotionally or physically.  the responsibility is all mine, not the other person. i have to trust my heart enough to know before i leap. 

often with certain people i get the timeline revealed. a future, our future rolls out and i see the potential. with some people the potential is unlimited with others it's reduced. currently i am free from commitment, yet there are people around me who want it from me. it's really nice as they are very honest with me, and i appreciate that. it's nice to be wanted.

paradoxically i am in a fate crossroads. 

the more i push this person away, the more she wants me but to be honest i would find it very difficult to engage in anything outside of sex with this person and that's why i feel instinctively, no commitment.

in the meantime, i have work at home to do, a garage that needs converting, a garden that requires immediate attention, a few hundred books to read!

i had to take a break from 'criminal history of mankind' as it was extremely intense and weighty, i figure i will endeavour to continue a chapter at a time, in the intervals i will read a short novel. the book i am halfway through is called, 'vicious' and it is about a week lou reed had in the year he took off after 'loaded' when he returned to work at his dad's office as a clerk. it's really quite good, and if you are a lou reed nut you will recognise all the characters and implications, certain inspirations and influences. but more than that, the story is great.

the way of fate

by

the deep fix

dawn, i surf the ariel condition blue. i see the great awakening, the minds eye see's you. it's a beautiful thing to be, but better to believe, it's true, the world it is so endless, always something new but it always seems to begin and end with you.

i swim the current, where it may take me. it could be anywhere between the here and there, it could be some or no where but it always brings me back, right into the new, it always returns to you.

it's not a trick or trap

it's not a paradox or mistake

it's just the way it is

it's the way of fate.

dusk, i see the great union of things, sometimes when i loose i win, that's the great lesson you learn, it's the wages of experience you earn, when you fall you really fly, when you wipe out you really touch the sky, and it's no wonder, no synaptic spark, it's nothing you can keep or hold, it's just the killing joke, and it's no laughing matter, it's don't anti matter, when you let it go, just hold on, because it all returns to you.

no matter what you do.

it's not a curse or code

it's neither love or hate

it's just the way it is

it's just the way of fate.

after an accident at work i have a few weeks to chill out and relax, read and listen to some music. it's all rather lovely now the sun is out. the accident is minor and i'm fine, although i really would like a short trip somewhere i have committed to stay home, do some baking and enjoy the summer days. the surf is looking better and if i can get down there for dawn i will. 

i also have a few events i need to attend on the horizon. interesting times, summer of love. i have to hack into the jungle outside, it's becoming very wild although the king parrots love it and have paid me a visit this morning. it's spectacular to see the flash of colour out there, a vibrent red contrasted against the deep rich green, i've shredded away my rubber plant which was growing into something resembling something summoned by the necromomicon. 

there's no doubt in my mind war is inevitable, it's obvious the democrats want a war for a number or reasons.  some of which are:

to take away from the corrupt election in arizona where it is obvious major cheating occurred.

to distract the public from the corruption in a crypto currency scam of massive magnitude where the tax payers money went to the ukraine and then laundered back to major democrat players.

to justify the military industrial ammunition america gave to ukraine 

to keep europa down and in a state of fear

to control the dominant narrative which is russia are the bad guys and putin the antichrist.

to depopulate.

to clear the collapse of the monetary system for it's incarnation into central digital currency

and because we are in the hands of psychopaths which a plan i have followed for 30 years and it has played out exactly as i have said. just do a search on here for 'agenda 21'

the major issue with the public and it's experts is cognitive dissidence. mass formation psychosis. 

hold on tight, it's going to get bumpy.   

 

surf, coffee, hash cookie, it's all so beautiful. down under in the sunshine, blue skies, clear waters. i return home and shower, arrange a few things and then crash out upon my big couch only to fall into the deepest sleep. i awake 8 hours later, it's 3pm and the day is mostly gone.

i feel exhausted, not sure why my telephone has so many missed calls i feel inclined to ignore all of them. 

between books i am at a loss what to read next, i pick up colin wilson's very rare, 'criminal history of mankind,' and begin reading. it's out of date and print but the first few pages are fascinating and i figure this will be fine to read as i explore the dark side of humanity. he starts by saying how intelligent most criminals can be, academic almost. how normal they appear and how random killing can be. that makes sense, often normal people are walking a fine line between snapping or they just want to see what they can do to transgress some sort of repressed rage i guess. colin will inform me as i read.

i've never been prone to violence but i have felt anger build up within, and it has no where to really go as i usually surf it out of my system. but for the last year i have not been able to surf, and whatever turmoil i have is just transmuted into frustration or some weird energy. let's face it, there's a lot to be angry at. 

i guess now it does have a channel since i took up my challenge.

i embraced that which i felt the most resistance to, boxing.

for the last 3 months i have been training, and although i have never really been interested in boxing as a sport and judged it to be a stupid idea, to actually train for it is incredibly rewarding and satisfying. 

firstly it requires an ability to train breathing, posture and movement, it demands from the mind the ability to be in the moment while anticipating the next, it requires involvement of the body mind, strength, coordination, stamina plus as well as keeping the limbs moving, yes even the feet, it requires an extreme stoic discipline. on another level it's primal and feels good.  i love it. balanced with some yoga type exercises this is given me a new start and positive rebirth into another phase in life. 

 

late night, love drugs, eating warm summer air in a state of undress, the scent of skin and sex, blissed out oxford street heat. funky people in inner city throb. we want some random encounter, a stranger when we meet situation, one night of hedonistic joy for 40 hours of blood sweat and tears. it's all lights and street sounds, high fives and jazz cigarettes. i was skinny as a rake back then, in my unbuttoned waist jacket and black skintight jeans. you looked like the glamorous super model from fairy land. we were a strange pair, a couple of kooks. you had your secrets, i had mine. yet we got one another. hard core freaks in the strange land, moon children, in the romantic dimension. we liked to dance, we loved the throb. seek joy, seek liberation, seek love, seek play, seek the funky baseline, seek sex, seek that naughty look in your eyes. you look so bright tonight!

our leaders sit upon a throne of lies and deception. it's become obvious they are not evil but insane. they manipulate and pull strings that pull strings that pull strings and we the public swallow it in our dumb left wing right wing teams. if you want to wake up, start dropping those terms and look at actions, consequences and long term stability of the most tolerant cultures. 
the world is in the edge, kali yuga, apocalypse, it's all quite beautiful in it's weird choreography. it's insane paradox. the strange commentators and polarisation of the masses into the inevitable good and evil.  i'm a libertarian, no govt. no authority has any right to direct me in pursuit of my thoughts or thinking.  i choose freedom as an individual and freedom for my brothers and sisters. that excludes the freedom to harm anyone else. 
the only way through this is to have a connection with our magnificent creator, and trust there is purpose to everything. in order to create something, another thing has to be destroyed.  in order to draw a picture with a pencil, the lead is transferred thus the pencil shrinks. energy in this universe cannot be destroyed only changed. death is inevitable and therefore fear of death is pointless. i would like to stay around and enjoy the ocean, the trees, the feel of a woman's body next to mine. i want to live. but more than that is i want to live free. 
this morning i watched a kingfisher sit in my garden, i spoke to it and it listened. it really was a beautiful creature, it's face expressive and it's body vibrent and the tinge of blue shone in the morning light, as it conversed with me. the birds in my garden are quite magnificent and have established a relationship with me. except for those pesky loud freaking small ones who just disrupt and make a discordant racket. there is not just peace here but wisdom in the birds. they trust me and have become friends, thus i become part of their environment, the environment. that's how greens or environmentalists need to understand the world, in terms of ecology. the mindless destruction of art is anti human, and the very idiots that do this are to stupid to understand they are funded by oil, petrol and gas who directly financially support them as it keeps the price of old energy high and increases profits. all this while they move towards another form of energy which is just as dangerous and unhealthy for the ecology. 
all this happens as we are trapped by an emotional reaction over a rational response. people don't know how to think, they have outsourced thinking to the internet or smart phones, pop stars or scientists in the pay of governments, tv advertisements and the  spill over effect of peer pressure. there are very few brave individuals left. it used to be people could speak freely and the principle was attacked not the person, now it's the person, that's how dumb things are. welcome to the witch trials, now watch them burn or drown. cheer and celebrate until they come for you.