surf, coffee, hash cookie, it's all so beautiful. down under in the sunshine, blue skies, clear waters. i return home and shower, arrange a few things and then crash out upon my big couch only to fall into the deepest sleep. i awake 8 hours later, it's 3pm and the day is mostly gone.

i feel exhausted, not sure why my telephone has so many missed calls i feel inclined to ignore all of them. 

between books i am at a loss what to read next, i pick up colin wilson's very rare, 'criminal history of mankind,' and begin reading. it's out of date and print but the first few pages are fascinating and i figure this will be fine to read as i explore the dark side of humanity. he starts by saying how intelligent most criminals can be, academic almost. how normal they appear and how random killing can be. that makes sense, often normal people are walking a fine line between snapping or they just want to see what they can do to transgress some sort of repressed rage i guess. colin will inform me as i read.

i've never been prone to violence but i have felt anger build up within, and it has no where to really go as i usually surf it out of my system. but for the last year i have not been able to surf, and whatever turmoil i have is just transmuted into frustration or some weird energy. let's face it, there's a lot to be angry at. 

i guess now it does have a channel since i took up my challenge.

i embraced that which i felt the most resistance to, boxing.

for the last 3 months i have been training, and although i have never really been interested in boxing as a sport and judged it to be a stupid idea, to actually train for it is incredibly rewarding and satisfying. 

firstly it requires an ability to train breathing, posture and movement, it demands from the mind the ability to be in the moment while anticipating the next, it requires involvement of the body mind, strength, coordination, stamina plus as well as keeping the limbs moving, yes even the feet, it requires an extreme stoic discipline. on another level it's primal and feels good.  i love it. balanced with some yoga type exercises this is given me a new start and positive rebirth into another phase in life.