the death wish is a magickal, spiritual, emotional, phycological if you like, call to arms. when one is in a relationship with the death wish you need to take a step back and ask two questions, are you seeking it or is it seeking you.
the subtle difference is that if you seek a death wish you are at risk of finding one for nihilistic reasons. if it finds you then there's a different way to perceive the experience.
firstly let's examine the difference, if one seeks death through high risk activities then it is fairly obvious that you are looking for an adrenaline shot, enjoy edge play, very unhappy.
if death seeks you as it has me we have a different set of rules at work. firstly you must keep a record of the death wishes visits, i have had about 20 over the last 46 years. my map of them indicates a pattern and process, and my experiences with the plant medicines and magick have revealed that death is my friend come to teach me and a simple process when experiencing it.
fortunately i found my many deaths beautiful despite the initial terror i was able to work through the process fast and clearly with good intent.
once i acknowledged the intelligence behind the process it was simple to surrender and submit to it, something which only when you are drowning or being strangled can you really do effectively. once that occurs everything in reality shifts, if death claims you then you die, if your opponent sees you do not fear death they will release you, often transferring the energy upon themselves which will result in them breaking down weeping. this has happened to me several times when i have been in conflict with people who have attempted to kill me.
the death wish remains a present intelligence within ones life, it does not go away but becomes an ally. eventually the death wish recognises that your life has changed considerably to the point where the death impulse is dissipated and reduced to a healthy relationship. the process involves humility, acceptance and that ever wonderful ego death, which is what death is all about.