snappy newt ears, she said.
i must have misheard her.

'did you say snappy newt ears,' i asked.

'yeah, what you got planned?'

'oh a quiet one, actually jake and myself will just have a drink together and go to bed, wake up and have a surf.'

'no fireworks or parties.'

'nope, not my thing. i like getting up early with a clear head and having a ocean swim. what do you have planned?'

'i'm going to meditate.'

'well have a nice trip and send me a postcard.'

we smile.

'hi, arrived in meditate, having a lovely time looking at the galleries and buildings, it's all very peaceful and calm. wish you were here.'

i nod my head still smiling, 'that sounds like a postcard i'd like to get, especially the wish you were here part.'

reflecting upon the year that was, highlights, basically the church gig, seeing steve at the shark fish tank party type thing, starting my boxing regime and seeing jake for 15 mins on xmas day, hanging out with him at the big beach house and seeing what a great guy he is. 

he gifted me the most amazing xmas present ever. very cool.

projecting to the year ahead, i have a lot to do. 

probably the most harrowing book i have read in a long time, can't even say i liked it as it was just to dark for me. like brutal. yet it was well written and poetic in parts. i guess that is what made it interesting. here's the strange part. it's based upon a real experience the author had.

now i had a run in with a californian desert cult when i was grey-hounding it from california to new jersey. so  i know they exist and have met a renegade who had escaped, he was a strange nervous guy who just ambled up to the back of the bus where i sat and crashed out. later when he awoke he explained to me he had just escaped from a cult out in the desert and was petrified they would come after him. 

i didn't ask to many questions but he got of the bus at philadelphia after a few days travel. including him there was another travelling companion whom was also some sort of desperado and between us we had about $20 to tithe us over. it was a long three days but imprinted in my memory as three days i will never forget. more of that another time. 

back to the book, it's darker than any version of hell and sickening to know this happened. it's not a pleasant read at all and there's very little redemption for the reader. 

fuck!

well rested after my burst of industry, i have spent the last week organising other peoples xmas and finally get a day off to rest and recuperate. i'm up early for a surf, the waves are choppy but the water warm. it feels good and my energy centers sort themselves out into some sort of realignment. 

my plants seem to enjoy a little extra attention as i water them and play them some nice music. mission control looks a bit chaotic still these afghan builders are still completing construction so it's shambolic and i am at their mercy. once it's completed i shall feel a sense of contentment as i can expand a little. 

i drive over to zabriski point,  a stunning mansion where i will stay for a few weeks, it has spectacular views and the split level design is striking and funky. there's art work everywhere, colourful and flamboyant, a wonderful  oceanic breeze straight into the lounge and my own throne right up the top with panoramic views. the house is massive with the bedrooms up back and an outdoor spa. down the front of the house is the beach. 

i head home for the xmas experience.

i am tired, everything seems to ache and muscles i never knew existed seem to require attention. boxing does that, i did a workout yesterday that had me on my knees. i seem to have pushed through to a different stage, power.
i don't know where it comes from, i guess after learning the stance and the punch technique, the legwork and the breathing then comes the power. it's not sustainable, just a few moments of strange energy, even my breathing has shifted. 

i have a long way to go but i am getting better, there has been improvement. 

my hair is getting in my way, maybe time for a hairband.

i travel along the straight track to central, where all nexus seems to converge and four watchtowers meet. there is them, there is i the wandering captain, there is you and there is it. we drink a beer and eat some food in a noodle market where people seem to enjoy the ambient twilight, the mid-afternoon sun as clouds roll by looming threatening saturation intermittent summer heat. we laugh, tell stories and then head down towards the foundry while jake and company head in an opposing direction to dance drink and play.

my mission is to listen to laugh, to say thank you to agent wild for being a friend, a friend on the end of a phone at the midnight hour. a friend who gets me home alive year after year when my body aches, my eyes rebel and my thoughts seem to turn towards the liminal when i should be focused on staying within my lane, avoiding the speeding trucks and hundreds of imminent dangers, agent wild gets me to the front door like a guardian angel.

so we sit in the shadows, drinking our cocktails.

steve is there on stage, he hits some chords and noodles around, already i am relaxed and calm, sinking into the corners and merging with shadows. it's true i have heard these songs before, the many anecdotes between all are familiar but still i laugh, still i smile. there's something really great and unique about steve, a rock star who rose then fell and then really rose beyond the rise. all that reminiscence at fame, at the absurdity of it, the close encounters, the excess, the unique irony that plagued the church as he weaves his way through the songs that took him to his heights and lows and i'm there on that ride with him. it takes an astute individual to look back with that kind of detachment, to gaze at his own spiteful envy at bands more successful, chart positions and personalities, the reviews that haunted him. often characters he impersonates so well it becomes incomprehensible they are not there themselves, micheal chugg handing steve a bag of cash after a gig, the cocaine fuelled tour manager of slade chasing richard ploog around, the weird record executives and producers who steve clashed with. these stories all reflect figures that burned brighter than than steve, zapping him of his own directed trajectory but they have long faded and the church still shine. and steve has made his own journey higher than fame or stardom. its a trip right? 

there's something really special about steve, the honesty, the humour, his rocky road i guess. it's the road that makes life interesting, i rather see steve play than anyone else. it's not the familiarity but the constant wonder that the man who can write and play 'just for you' also does priest = aura.' how is that possible, two incredible songs, i wonder, as the soft night begins to crack, the echoes faintly fade and i can feel the straight line calling me back. 

i must say the added bonus of 'taken by surprise' was a joy! 
a perfect song and karin was in the audience, what a treat that must have been.

merry xmas steve. long may you make music.

shock!
horror!
conspiracy!
you have been duped!
check it out yourself, 

the truth will set ya free 

(not guaranteed)

https://kanekoa.substack.com/p/how-obama-and-biden-installed-neo

in my dream it's night time

i'm driving through the rain

it's pitch black out there 

although my headlights seem to create a short vista of road

like a strange eternal tunnel

when suddenly!

i hit a man.

his upper torso and arms in silhouette

details missing.

i wake up in quite a fright.
who was that man, was it me or am i the driver. 

i don't know.

maybe both.

an american nightmare descends upon europa, the strange cult of power wielded by the world economic forum, the united nations the world health organisation which i have watched for 30 years encroach upon free thinking civilisation has now struck hard and swift, with covid, with war with media control and the old adage of divide and conquer. the plan was always depopulation, control and compliance, but the method was an evil birthed from master manipulators under the guise of environmentalism and techno feudalism. 

the nazi's now rule the planet. 

from ratlines to the vatican, from the v2 to apollo, from islamic alliance to the green movement, from blm to the silicon valley, from social media to the medical fascists, from the depths of hollywood to the woke and lost, from the pink swastika to the black sun, the nazi's rule the world.

i've always said, it's a spiritual battle, its the war inside out, it's not easy to chose a side because the crusade is blurred.

but it may be the devil

it may be the lord

you're going to have to serve somebody.

    

the best music i have heard in fucking years, take my word for it, i don't lie. amazing.

strange old day today, i wake up through the night at 2 hour intervals, not sure why. eventually i find myself training at dawn, my trainer does some weird new lifting thing with me, it forces me to use muscles that are lazy and it's exhausting, painful and very difficult. i push through, pain is horrible, it's intense but i push through, shouting aloud as i do. eventually it all ends and i return home. later i have to take the car to get a new windshield, the windshield has a huge crack in it thanks to central coast roads, potholes everywhere. this takes a few hours so i wander over to the local shops and sit in a library reading my tanith lee book, 'eva fairdeath,' which reminds me of early mike moorcock. in fact sometimes i am cast back to my early teenage years reading moorcock for the first time, being captivated and loving the adventure, the strangeness and the characters ambiguous natures. 

 

colin wilson goes on to look at the way over population plays a part upon human tensions, resulting in violence, he suggests even animals will suicide if their numbers become dense, whereas humans often murder one another.  it's all about regulating tension. he cites many studies where animals have also been cruel to their own kind, often for reasons of requiring space, sustainability of the tribe, this is an altruistic motive carried out in barbarity. he looks at the way the adrenal gland is effected by tension and over population, as if their is a biological reason why people kill. the bottom line is it seems hardwired in us, even the victim can become the oppressor, as history shows us. 
my thoughts are and always have been beat your program, always rewire it and write your own, that's got to be the fundamental mission if you want to hack reality. it's not easy but it's do able. eventually you get to a point where it becomes easy. letting go is part of this, as you hack reality you have to let go of parts that don't serve or nourish you. 
i'd make a dreadful killer, it's not in my nature but i can handle myself if i have to. the point is to avoid this situation as much as possible. avoid anyone who can't control their impulse to violence, usually a good sign is witnessed by the ability these people may have in letting go itself. knowing when to let go is a subtle skill just like knowing when to hang on. 

wilson suggests the ability to adapt to stress increases control and reiterates crime is the easy way, a short cut.

he also looks at the death urge advocated by freud but dismisses this and moves on to authoritarianism particularly in institutions like marriage and bureaucracy but later writes about the sci fi author a. e. van vogt who was also wrote a number of 'brilliant' psychological studies one being, 'the right man' which looks at self esteem and how that plays a huge role in crime bared out in abusive relationships. peter sellers apparently suffered from this condition. 

i'm looking forwards to see if wilson touches upon the spiritual side of things within mankind, it seems pretty obvious to me, two forces are at work within every human, the war within. confront the shadow and transmute that and 'crime' becomes duty. for in this age everything is inverted, and crime seems to be perfectly justified if you are in authority, a govt. a police force, a politician yet for the disempowered it means you are evil. i don't support the idea that people should commit crime or any criminal activity but i do think we need to look at the nature of crime and what it constitutes. for example when the democratic party in the usa send money to ukraine and it's invested in crypto currency and then sent back to the democratic party laundered to fund their elections is that a crime or just business as usual. is it a crime that tax payers money was used, that the dems who invested made millions and amassed a personal fortune while fighting a proxy pointless sham war. is it a crime that billions of dollars of hardware paid for by the taxpayer was left in afghanistan, US forces abandoned, allies who faced certain death by the taliban abandoned, meanwhile the military industrial complex asks for more money to fund itself from, you guessed it the tax payer. 

is that criminal, no it's all legitimised by the powerful. 

crime these days is sanctioned by our global elites who pulled of the biggest scam in the history of humanity, after 9-11, the covid scam, a complete redistribution of wealth from the poor and the middle to the rich. 

poor colin wilson never lived to see what crime had evolved to corporate crime, institutionalised crime, experimental vaccines forced upon global populations resulting in the cure being far more dangerous than the desease, murder by proxy. i'm only on chapter two and i have already seen the limits of thinking and i really respect colin wilson as a deep philosopher who worked outside the box. however i must continue reading and see where things lead.

i take a break. this week i have surfed each morning but today i am late, and arrive at the beach for a short play, time is tight. the initial few moments within the ocean are freezing, and kick start my old heart, it's a shock to say the least but wow, after submerging oneself the body adapts and today has perfect waves. i have to negotiate that white stuff, push beyond to the back where everything is crystal. it's glorious as i ride wave upon wave, feeling tension lift, feeling clarity, feeling invigorated. 

trapped in the red shift, the eternal paradox
you cast out love for some weird lust with a girl from nowhere at a midnight hour.

you push that sex impulse like a machine.

it's a chemical virus you can't tame or inoculate

it's life energy depletion for a moment of bliss

addicts usually over dose

when the parasitic compulsion overtakes the host

killed by a red witch, unsympathetic magic you bleed out like a phase 

on infertile ground feeding impossible flowers

only the fool and the hanged woman know what it's like to go out swinging.

ah here comes the cold propulsion engines, giving panther mountain by improvisation.

it's all made up of dreams and illusions, that's what they say, eventually you can weave them together and create whatever you want

but is it real or part of the simulation

the answer to that is

does it matter?

 

 

early morning, early day, i grab my coffee and listen to the birds. they are announcing a day filled with possibility. my garden is wild, it does need a bit of a trim, grass is almost knee high. my deck is covered in debris, the wind yesterday ravaged the area. 

i had a dream i was interviewing patrick henningson, we had met by chance and became involved in a huge discussion with another person i can't recall. i was attempting to argue patrick has a very warped view of middle east politics and views it only from a western perspective, whereas he would have a much better understanding if he understood geographic psychology he may understand the wider issue of who is a threat and why instead of always choosing the obvious. it's a good conversation and we seem to reach an understanding. he's a bit egotistical and detached but eventually i gain his trust and respect. we agree on most other issues and end up having a few drinks. it's weird, i just hope that idiot basil valentine is not the other guy as i really dislike him. 

i finished 'vicious' and it's such a clever book, but the ending was, well weak and anti climatic. however i enjoyed most of it and 'sister ray' well, that songs forever changed for me.

i'm also reading colin's book 'a criminal history of mankind,' and this is a heavy trip. to cope with the sheer horror and the detailed analysis i only read one chapter and then start a different book and when i finish that return to the next chapter of 'criminal history.'

so the first bit colin suggests that the one factor that compels man to commit crime is 'it's a short cut.' which when you think about it is not only true, it's obvious. then he says submission and dominance in relationships often plays a psychological role. here he looks at killers whom work in pairs and how one is dominant and the other submissive, colin splits it further into various levels of submission. he also looks at the way masses of people can commit the most horrific crime (often murder) he looks at warfare and suggests perhaps since inhabiting cities man is tense and wired to survival, gradually being pushed towards primal urges. 

depressing but here's the thing, animals don't murder.

 

commitment, sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't, what is it i find myself wondering?

for me, it's a feeling. 

it's not something tied up in material wealth, security or control, it's a feeling about soul type connections and mental satisfaction. i'd be lying if i said sex did not factor into the equation, but that's usually an expression of the other persons qualities. mostly it's about taking a risk. a leap over an abyss, hoping to be caught in open arms or accept the fall. i put a lot of expectation upon being caught because no one sane wants to fall. and wether expectation is wrong or right, it's just natural because no one wants to die emotionally or physically.  the responsibility is all mine, not the other person. i have to trust my heart enough to know before i leap. 

often with certain people i get the timeline revealed. a future, our future rolls out and i see the potential. with some people the potential is unlimited with others it's reduced. currently i am free from commitment, yet there are people around me who want it from me. it's really nice as they are very honest with me, and i appreciate that. it's nice to be wanted.

paradoxically i am in a fate crossroads. 

the more i push this person away, the more she wants me but to be honest i would find it very difficult to engage in anything outside of sex with this person and that's why i feel instinctively, no commitment.

in the meantime, i have work at home to do, a garage that needs converting, a garden that requires immediate attention, a few hundred books to read!

i had to take a break from 'criminal history of mankind' as it was extremely intense and weighty, i figure i will endeavour to continue a chapter at a time, in the intervals i will read a short novel. the book i am halfway through is called, 'vicious' and it is about a week lou reed had in the year he took off after 'loaded' when he returned to work at his dad's office as a clerk. it's really quite good, and if you are a lou reed nut you will recognise all the characters and implications, certain inspirations and influences. but more than that, the story is great.

the way of fate

by

the deep fix

dawn, i surf the ariel condition blue. i see the great awakening, the minds eye see's you. it's a beautiful thing to be, but better to believe, it's true, the world it is so endless, always something new but it always seems to begin and end with you.

i swim the current, where it may take me. it could be anywhere between the here and there, it could be some or no where but it always brings me back, right into the new, it always returns to you.

it's not a trick or trap

it's not a paradox or mistake

it's just the way it is

it's the way of fate.

dusk, i see the great union of things, sometimes when i loose i win, that's the great lesson you learn, it's the wages of experience you earn, when you fall you really fly, when you wipe out you really touch the sky, and it's no wonder, no synaptic spark, it's nothing you can keep or hold, it's just the killing joke, and it's no laughing matter, it's don't anti matter, when you let it go, just hold on, because it all returns to you.

no matter what you do.

it's not a curse or code

it's neither love or hate

it's just the way it is

it's just the way of fate.

after an accident at work i have a few weeks to chill out and relax, read and listen to some music. it's all rather lovely now the sun is out. the accident is minor and i'm fine, although i really would like a short trip somewhere i have committed to stay home, do some baking and enjoy the summer days. the surf is looking better and if i can get down there for dawn i will. 

i also have a few events i need to attend on the horizon. interesting times, summer of love. i have to hack into the jungle outside, it's becoming very wild although the king parrots love it and have paid me a visit this morning. it's spectacular to see the flash of colour out there, a vibrent red contrasted against the deep rich green, i've shredded away my rubber plant which was growing into something resembling something summoned by the necromomicon. 

there's no doubt in my mind war is inevitable, it's obvious the democrats want a war for a number or reasons.  some of which are:

to take away from the corrupt election in arizona where it is obvious major cheating occurred.

to distract the public from the corruption in a crypto currency scam of massive magnitude where the tax payers money went to the ukraine and then laundered back to major democrat players.

to justify the military industrial ammunition america gave to ukraine 

to keep europa down and in a state of fear

to control the dominant narrative which is russia are the bad guys and putin the antichrist.

to depopulate.

to clear the collapse of the monetary system for it's incarnation into central digital currency

and because we are in the hands of psychopaths which a plan i have followed for 30 years and it has played out exactly as i have said. just do a search on here for 'agenda 21'

the major issue with the public and it's experts is cognitive dissidence. mass formation psychosis. 

hold on tight, it's going to get bumpy.   

 

surf, coffee, hash cookie, it's all so beautiful. down under in the sunshine, blue skies, clear waters. i return home and shower, arrange a few things and then crash out upon my big couch only to fall into the deepest sleep. i awake 8 hours later, it's 3pm and the day is mostly gone.

i feel exhausted, not sure why my telephone has so many missed calls i feel inclined to ignore all of them. 

between books i am at a loss what to read next, i pick up colin wilson's very rare, 'criminal history of mankind,' and begin reading. it's out of date and print but the first few pages are fascinating and i figure this will be fine to read as i explore the dark side of humanity. he starts by saying how intelligent most criminals can be, academic almost. how normal they appear and how random killing can be. that makes sense, often normal people are walking a fine line between snapping or they just want to see what they can do to transgress some sort of repressed rage i guess. colin will inform me as i read.

i've never been prone to violence but i have felt anger build up within, and it has no where to really go as i usually surf it out of my system. but for the last year i have not been able to surf, and whatever turmoil i have is just transmuted into frustration or some weird energy. let's face it, there's a lot to be angry at. 

i guess now it does have a channel since i took up my challenge.

i embraced that which i felt the most resistance to, boxing.

for the last 3 months i have been training, and although i have never really been interested in boxing as a sport and judged it to be a stupid idea, to actually train for it is incredibly rewarding and satisfying. 

firstly it requires an ability to train breathing, posture and movement, it demands from the mind the ability to be in the moment while anticipating the next, it requires involvement of the body mind, strength, coordination, stamina plus as well as keeping the limbs moving, yes even the feet, it requires an extreme stoic discipline. on another level it's primal and feels good.  i love it. balanced with some yoga type exercises this is given me a new start and positive rebirth into another phase in life. 

 

late night, love drugs, eating warm summer air in a state of undress, the scent of skin and sex, blissed out oxford street heat. funky people in inner city throb. we want some random encounter, a stranger when we meet situation, one night of hedonistic joy for 40 hours of blood sweat and tears. it's all lights and street sounds, high fives and jazz cigarettes. i was skinny as a rake back then, in my unbuttoned waist jacket and black skintight jeans. you looked like the glamorous super model from fairy land. we were a strange pair, a couple of kooks. you had your secrets, i had mine. yet we got one another. hard core freaks in the strange land, moon children, in the romantic dimension. we liked to dance, we loved the throb. seek joy, seek liberation, seek love, seek play, seek the funky baseline, seek sex, seek that naughty look in your eyes. you look so bright tonight!

our leaders sit upon a throne of lies and deception. it's become obvious they are not evil but insane. they manipulate and pull strings that pull strings that pull strings and we the public swallow it in our dumb left wing right wing teams. if you want to wake up, start dropping those terms and look at actions, consequences and long term stability of the most tolerant cultures. 
the world is in the edge, kali yuga, apocalypse, it's all quite beautiful in it's weird choreography. it's insane paradox. the strange commentators and polarisation of the masses into the inevitable good and evil.  i'm a libertarian, no govt. no authority has any right to direct me in pursuit of my thoughts or thinking.  i choose freedom as an individual and freedom for my brothers and sisters. that excludes the freedom to harm anyone else. 
the only way through this is to have a connection with our magnificent creator, and trust there is purpose to everything. in order to create something, another thing has to be destroyed.  in order to draw a picture with a pencil, the lead is transferred thus the pencil shrinks. energy in this universe cannot be destroyed only changed. death is inevitable and therefore fear of death is pointless. i would like to stay around and enjoy the ocean, the trees, the feel of a woman's body next to mine. i want to live. but more than that is i want to live free. 
this morning i watched a kingfisher sit in my garden, i spoke to it and it listened. it really was a beautiful creature, it's face expressive and it's body vibrent and the tinge of blue shone in the morning light, as it conversed with me. the birds in my garden are quite magnificent and have established a relationship with me. except for those pesky loud freaking small ones who just disrupt and make a discordant racket. there is not just peace here but wisdom in the birds. they trust me and have become friends, thus i become part of their environment, the environment. that's how greens or environmentalists need to understand the world, in terms of ecology. the mindless destruction of art is anti human, and the very idiots that do this are to stupid to understand they are funded by oil, petrol and gas who directly financially support them as it keeps the price of old energy high and increases profits. all this while they move towards another form of energy which is just as dangerous and unhealthy for the ecology. 
all this happens as we are trapped by an emotional reaction over a rational response. people don't know how to think, they have outsourced thinking to the internet or smart phones, pop stars or scientists in the pay of governments, tv advertisements and the  spill over effect of peer pressure. there are very few brave individuals left. it used to be people could speak freely and the principle was attacked not the person, now it's the person, that's how dumb things are. welcome to the witch trials, now watch them burn or drown. cheer and celebrate until they come for you.

some empty little town on the north shore, a corner outside a library, i see her first and she pretends not to see me. she's smoking and looks ahead trying to be cool and indifferent but instead looks self conscious and nervous.
'hello you,' i say as i pass her.

'oh hi.'

i walk past her, not looking back.

it's not like there was any love there, just sex. it's not like we parted friends, in fact if i recall correctly she ended up stealing from me. money, an opel card and books. 

she was a petulant brat actually. 

i remember her body and smile.

later i get a text from another ex, she says 'we should meet?'

'we did,' i reply.

well it's the mercury retrograde and pisces is in jupiter, the stars conspire against me. 

it will pass.

over the last few weeks i have been assisting a scientist conduct an experiment with a ouji board.  we met a few weeks ago and got along quite well, his obvious interest in occult and parapsychology was science based so we shared a few stories and background experiences.  

he rented a studio where he unveiled the board, brand new and set it up under camera and lights, he wore a blindfold, i was there to make sure it was all kosher and to open the ceremony. 

we did this for a period of three weeks.

the results were inconclusive but there were some very strange events that occurred.  his body began to shake, we got some spelling but as the sessions were timed never enough to complete anything meaningful. he reported a few peculiar sensations. 

anyway, that's what i have been up to.

let's talk about kayne west. he's been popping up a bit as he posted something on 'tweeter' about wanting to go 'defcon on jews' some sort of military term. admittedly it's a stupid thing to put out there in the universe but he would not be alone, the first or the last. kayne west is not significant to me, never was and i thought never would be. however this tweeting went mental, picking up media attention everywhere, impossible to ignore. 
kayne went on to say he was angry and exhausted and was lashing out at the way he had been exploited in his contracts and generally in the entertainment industry the managers, lawyers and agents who were mostly jewish and had ripped him off. he apologised and went on to say in an incredible interview with piers morgan he must have caused a lot of hurt and confusion to jewish people and he wanted to hug them all and asked forgiveness. 

my thoughts are this. i love him, i like his outspoken attitude, i like his honesty and feelings. i myself have been ripped off by a few jewish people, not just financially either so i get the generalisation, anger and him hitting back. however he was a man, he apologised and understood the consequences of what he had said. for this he should be praised not punished. 

kayne west is being punished for his twitting, i feel this is really dumb. he should be allowed to say what he wants and the concerned jewish people should have a right to address his issues with a reasoned response, all this outrage is pointless. 

i have to stand with him here, and there is a huge schism in the jewish people. i myself am sephardic and at an early age began to notice the difference in my own culture to the ashkenazi. it's hard to pinpoint, hard to actually define what it is but there is a difference beyond roots.

anyways kayne made a few great points in his interview, he was also somewhat narcissistic and possible on some spectrum of psychological disorder but generally i tend to like him all the more for speaking out his truth and then addressing the hurt it must have caused. i don't like the idea of him being cancelled, especially ironically by adidas whom have a nazi past. 

can't sleep these days, up so early the first rays of dawn stream in through the shades and i react like an over sensitive vampyre. the taste of blood in my mouth, i kid you not! i seem to be covered in blood, down one arm, along my lower face, and the sheets are sticky, and not in a groovy way. it is indeed blood. i have a very bad nose bleed. not sure how this happened but the metallic taste is making my throat feel dry and dessert like. i rummage around for some sunglasses. i feel my reading glasses,  a half read book that lays open on the floor and there is my phone. 
no sign of sunglasses. 
i take a shower and then coffee before i can feel half human, tiredness creases up my eyes, slightly bloodshot and something acutely out of whack . jesus i have not slept well for a few days. my brain races with a million ideas, it's so overwhelming i can't single one out from all the psychedelia. 

times like these i like to focus on something, so i pick book from the pile, something very random. oh no, it's the bible. i only have old testaments around. the new is kinda groovy and nice, a hippy from a tribe does some magick tricks and speaks of love, he's killed for it and comes back from the dead. but the old is filled with sex, drugs and high weirdness. who is this god druid smiting, directing and manifesting as burning trees? leading people through a 40 year desert, being all cosmic and vast, unknowable by only a select few bearded druids who underwent trails and tribulations. is there any escape from that kinda force. i often describe god as the dimension all other dimensions exist within. the old testament god is like that so i dig it's expansive narrative. some of those characters, undercover prophets yelling out at the mysterious director of their fate, 'no no, not me, i'm not worthy.'

but the hand that reached out through the crack in the sky is pointing directly at them,  'you will go to jaffa, you will spend a few months in the dessert, you will climb that mount, you will warn the population.'

'no no i'm not worthy,' straight into the whales mouth.

out of all the thousands of books i have, weird fictions, non fictions, books on magick, books on weird super-nature and books on geo politics, this morning my hand fell upon this. i've always found genesis the best and most significant part, basically the first three chapters as they kind of allude to the concept of creation and i feel this is the fundamental point of man, to create art. my fingers flick through the pages and find the line, 'let there be light.'

what is that light, it can't just be energy from the sun, it has to be a word of multiple meanings and concepts all tied into creation. the artists mind is light, the soul. 

i wonder if in order to see what is created you also require light.

could light also mean spiritual truth.

and this morning i am bathed in light. (can't find my socks)

 

mmm, sara gran wrote to me, (okay not to me directly but to her fan club) she wants to recommend a book, and i'm so excited i can't stop pondering what it would be. i can't imagine, all i think about is fucking her while she reads me her manuscript of her next novel. i know it's weird but she just lights me up. the fact she wrote some of the scripts from berlin station is icing on the cake. how can you better that man. 

tomorrow i'm in the surf, i hope conditions are reasonable, all i want is a good wave. the forecast is favorable, an early morning surf into the sun. breakfast at the surf cafe, and my head in my 'robots' book, it's shaping up to be a great weekend. in the afternoon i have to do some baking and make a new supply of edibles, mission control is looking good, might even mop the floors and polish them while i play my new kilbey and kennedy album loud.

i don't really wanna do anything to social, my head hurts from people.

 

big read, really surprisingly good and despite the title is a really quite a well thought out innovative novel about robots and humans. just started, not even 100 pages in but i love how its going. great characters and great world building.

so some big corporative head lady from the evil drug company admits there were no scientific studies in the vaccines when it came to stopping the virus. no science! 

but we were told to trust 'the science,' and while i was quite vocal in the idea that the science is politicised and incorrect oh how people loved to take me down. family, friends, all scoffed and laughed at me. the freak from down under! 

i'm sorry, i wish i were wrong but you all swallowed the oldest trick in the book. except ironically my mum.
so after millions of deaths from the jabs, a number that will increase, some people are now reviewing the scam-demic. or corona19-84 as i like to call it.

if there was no science in the vaccine who was pushing 'trust the science' upon us all.

world leaders, hollywood celebs, rage against the machine, neil young and the foo fighters and springsteen and the corrupt institutions that lord it over us.

the banking industry is now pushing aggressively to enable a centralised digital currency, it's all about controlling us. the banks have no cash, they can't back it therefore all the cash being printed to bail out biden and the west after covid is just paper. the arab states, russia and smart countries are abandoning the dollar, and thus the american empire needs war. all wars are usually bankers wars. not jews, not alien lizards but banks. remember jews only owned banks because not one of the banks would lend money to jews so they started their own. (that bit often gets missed out in conspiracy theories) however as i learn, i dig into the khazar mafia and intuitively see something in that. more information is needed but i will get to the truth off it.

anyway my friend is writing a report for the australian government, it's about the situation that julian assange is in, i hope it's effective and he is released back to australia under protection.

on the brink of war, and the amazing news is that world leaders will not discuss the conflict, even though putin will attend. nope, on the agenda is pandemic control and energy sustainability.

whatever you think, the cosmic cycles are completing their rotation, you can see the patterns,  see where it will go, it's very predictable to me, which makes me lots of enemies. personally, i am fantastic, great health, great positive vibe, optimistic about myself and paradoxically very much on top of it all. 

financial crisis, they come and go, on a global level, on a personal level, i see you had one, a bad investment in some dumb scam. it could happen to anyone, but it happened to you. 

ever figured out why? 

bad luck?

maybe not. so rather than beg with a bowl you take the contemporary approach, i get it, it's the less shameful way of begging i guess. people have cash to spare, they throw a few dollars your way and you fake humility and gratitude. 

i see you still like to use excuses, to frightened to look within, for through all that twisted perception one could only see distortion. the ugly fairground mirror like truth of you. 

me i had a bit of bad luck and a little good, in the end everything balances out the way it will. i gave up attempting to determine what's fair, that's not a call any human can make. certainly on a cosmic level. the universe has a way of evening the score, some say it falls towards entropy, whereas i have been blessed / cursed with a multi dimensional vision and see entropy as the inverse of  negentropy, the particle and the wave, the more we slide towards chaos the more order implied upon the secret dimensions.

when one exists in these worlds, nothing is straightforwards. instruments fail, science leads us astray. there's only one way and that's my way. i know this now. my mistake was to compromise.

silly stories of cats and books cannot save you unless you know what your doing. 

i'm sorry you had this issue, and then again it's hardly surprising.  

 

leap into armageddon, it's calamity baby. a girl with no name. she's a hornet's nest in a sharks jaw. the picture is simple but the game is complex.

china 
usa proxy war with russia =
fractured europa 

europa is a slave state of the usa.
and what's the the point of nato - keep the americas in, the russians out and the germans down.

it's amazing how so many people remain silent on the biden administration and the damage it has caused the world. pop stars, actors, experts and the left all were very vocal wanking on about trump's inadequacies and failures, wallowing the propaganda they promoted it. maybe it was trendy and fashionable, i've never followed such things so i can't say. very few remained able to think independently, and like the witch burnings in the middle ages were quick to judge. 
now they are silent.

now we are being plunged into war by these ignorant morons. you can see they are chaos inflicting chaos upon the world. ironically russia is once again cast into stopping expansionist desire to take over the world, napoleon, hitler and now the dumb fucking zombies who run the west.

hold on, this is not going to end well.  

europa.

it's very likely kinetic war will break out very soon, especially now the usa has sabotaged the pipeline. russia will respond. 

the west has handled this whole drama incorrectly, it has a lot to answer for. 

firstly there are two treaties signed after the break up of the soviet union signed by the west. they specify no bases will be build upon any countries bordering russia. and like it of not for the last 10 years putin has consistently warned the west to remove their bases (mostly housing biological weapons) and the west has kept encroaching. nato, is expansionist and it's funded by america. 

under trump nato was kept in place, as was putin. 

but biden is a puppet for the globalists, the united nations, the eu, the clinton foundation and the world economic forum. trump wanted to drain the swamp (the deep state) but the deep state is deeper and wider than we can imagine and it relentlessly attempted to destroy him. 

there is no way the deep state, a global cabal of secret services, institutions and media will let him run again. they want war, it feeds them. you have to follow the money. 

(trump was the only american president who went in richer than when he came out. he was also the only president that never started a war)

ironically the elites want to bring down economies, end cash and individual independence to create a vast population of dependant people. the new currency will be totally credit, tied to social status controlled by the elites, similar to the chinese system where if an individual is seen to speak out against the govt. they are punished by switching off their credit and ability to move. the trail for this was covid. if you think that was just about health you are nuts. 

and if you think this is far fetched, look at what happened in canada during the lockdown and the truckers protesting. their bank accounts were shut down, any one contributing donations to them were also shut down. it's happening now all over the world as paypal freezes transactions of those it deems anti globalist or people that challenge the mainstream narrative. 

there's a lot of issues happening on planet earth, if you are astute you would know war broke out almost a decade ago, it just never became kinetic until...today...tomorrow. 

hang on to yourself.

 

fate healer, let me put my hands on you.

the queen, 
god save her man, look she's dead and we should not talk ill of dead but to be honest it's impossible not to. let's see. i have lived out of the uk for about 34 years, i never liked or felt anything for the uk as my home country, it was a place i was born. i liked london in 1977 to 1980 and then discovered life elsewhere. america, europa, asia all held more allure and fascination for me than the downright glum english take of reality. empire and all that stuff, the class system, the dull grey middle class management, the establishment, the bbc, the fucking hypocrisy of the guardian and the left, the dumb morons on the right, it was never for me. i rejected it all. the only thing the uk had going was the music was good, the beatles, the stones, bowie as was the humour.

the one thing i never really understood was the royals and those whom followed them. i was in the usa when charles got married, i was in sydney when diana died, by then i had already begun to grow more attached to australia than i ever felt any kind of connection to the uk.

the royals, not even the original english royal family, impostors. yet the english loved them, the press loved them, their privilege and drama fed the media for years while also protecting them. 

you never see stories about the amount of money charles makes from the green industry, you don't hear that much about his connections to jimmy saville, and then there's andrew. their stuck up snooty wives, their stupid dumb dogs and their hunting and killing of wild animals.

the queen was okay, she kept it royal and english, i guess she never really got out much amongst her real people but she seemed harmless enough. although in her younger days she was 'sieg heiling' with the rest of them. plus there were all those executive death warrants she signed for prisoners in the colonies.

anyway she is dead. 

the people could see her in her coffin at westminster, all they had to do was queue up for three days to have a gawk. meanwhile if you were one of her majesty's lords, or a govt member  you could push in and see her without queuing. and the british public are quite okay with that. 

serfs.

i want better rulers, better govt. better quality than privileged lords, ladies, queens and kings. it's a medieval idea and the people that follow that kind of thing are medieval  thinkers. 

any head of state has to be visionary, egoless and live a normal live amongst the people. they need to have the respect of their nation, the belief in them is their power.

take me, i'd make an excellent king, in fact emperor. 

you wouldn't have to call me emperor mission, captain is fine. i'd probably have to resign from work but my wage would stay the same, and the public could contribute if i needed to attend some event that means something. not a fucking polo match. anyway, i'd make sure everyone was eating good organic food, educating their minds and following their purpose in life. the one thing i won't be doing is hunting fucking ducks and foxes! 

 

 

 

 

so the days have fallen, hard upon the spike and in the garden, all that bloomed withers and returns from whence it once came. ashes to dust, to the mote in a gods eye, as time plays it's fiddle, a foreboding accompaniment to a man on fire, a strange little lust for life as twilight descends upon the sunset of reason, i sip my cocktail and watch embers soar upon ideological thermals that once burned so bright, now burn away to reveal the darkness. i smoke my joint, i sip my tea, i can't tell the difference between time and memory. 

  

 freak out in a moonage daydream

 kooky didn't even come close. 

i get to the cinema an hour before the movie starts, i am uncertain how many people will turn up and even if there will be tickets left. i guess i thought every one loves bowie as much as me. 

avoca has a beautiful little cinema, it's right on the beach, has a lovely little shop and a coffee area where you can sit outside and relax, which is what i did. i had taken my book with me, and some bowie tunes were being blasted out hidden speakers. i'm sitting there sipping a perfect hot chocolate when two people ask if they can join me, one a huge rocker called rod, and his friend a very friendly blonde lady who sits next to me and starts chatting away. i put my book away, and try not to look at her in any sort of lecherous way, but i am a male and she is pretty gorgeous. she smells nice to and has these very alluring eyes. anyway she's quick to tell me she is with her friend, and i figure he is obviously a good friend as he runs around doing her bidding. she invites me to sit with them at the back of the cinema, which is perfect. i wanted the back seat.

when the movie starts, my hash cookie kicks in and i know i'm in trouble as the audience all falls into a very serene quiet and my companions start chatting loudly,  moving around, dancing and clapping their hands. let me tell you the back row got raucous. then the blonde lady decides to slide in next to me, grab my hand and start swaying as bowie sings a classic. we end up exchanging numbers but not names, although i show her my name and right at the end of the night she shares her's. 

the actual moonage daydream documentary is good, it's just bowie talking all the way through and he is very philosophical and wise. i like what he says, through various phases in his life. he's always been cerebral and explored pushing boundaries, i loved his take on his own output at the height of his fame and commercial success. there were some great mixes of songs, stems that fugue into others, isolated parts and clips of live performances against a backdrop of documentary footage. a lot of stuff i have seen before on you tube.

look it's going to be a challenge making a film about bowies life, you could make several about different stages and facets of his output, but to attempt to contain bowie in one single film is impossible. so credit where it's due, they did a good job here, especially as they seemed to follow bowies spiritual pathway, as a uniting theme that links his works. and when you discover that the director also faced a life / death situation while making the film i guess you begin to appreciate the path the biography takes.

at the end of the movie i work out that my new friends are probably quite drunk and the cute blonde lady says loudly, 'i never did very well when i was in rehab.' loud enough for a few people to hear. i laugh, not at her but because i liked that she said it. it was very disruptive in a way, shocking i guess but it was funny. outside we share a joint, she tells me her name, invites me to a gig and sends me a text, 'LETS DANCE.'. 

yeah there was my evening, kooky to say the least. i was planning an introspective intimate emotional evening with bowie, but instead i get a buxom blonde nymphet with alluring eyes and a great smell. 

verily, in the middle of mid apocalyptic dystopia the sun streams through the blinds, the spread of light filters across my office and i listen to my messages. birds are alarmed, insects are in fear as humanity takes a sharp turn to the left or right, it don't matter, you are fucked unless you are cashed up or have a property with water, food and guns. they are coming for you. but there's only one way out and that's through. straight through with love and compassion and some krishna energy. 

i had big plans today, people to see, places to go, new experiences. however a sudden change in atmospheric conditions in and out influenced me to keep the day to myself in isolation. immediately my phone starts ringing, one person after the other so ironically i don't get much time alone. anyway i chat for a while, listen mostly. even my mum and i communicate over skype- o-matic,and we have the most agreeable conversation. wow!

anyways after the calls  i discover the new bowie film, 'moonage daydream' is on at avoca, so i plan a night with bowie, i mean i have to see this one right? all i know is it's going to be, emotional.

then i feel the hash cookie come on and i start panicking in case i forget to see the movie while looking for a pair of scissors while caught in some sort of time vortex that hides in my kitchen. ah, play some music i think, a bowie cd, but then i get trapped in indecision, which one. 

okay i can see it's a kooky day.    

heading down to brooklyn, the highway south, a windy bit of freeway reveals the majestic waters of the hawksberry river, the gorgeous serenity of prehistoric times, a landscape untouched by human civilisation, pure nature, the light bouncing over the water, the strange fractal of waterways, the magnificent rocks structure, towers above and below. i take the side road off the freeway passed the secret graveyard, along the tiny road that leads down to the sleepy hidden village. parking is easy, there's hardly anyone in town. i head towards the corner where the coffee shop / cake shop offers me something along the lines of a strong latte. 

i have an appointment with a mysterious stranger who contacted me online, he wants to meet me for some project he has to complete, all i know is he seems interested in ghosts.

after my coffee i sit down in the pub where a silver haired man on the next table asks if i am captain mission.

'yeah,' i say as he scoots over to join me.

'i'm future,' he offers.

'so i have seen the future,' i reply.

he laughs.

he talks about his project, it's a science based look into contact with spirits through ouji boards. 

a memory flicks by my mind, ghostbusters, my future is sitting down with me.

we talk as he asks me about my experience, 'the truth is far stranger than fiction,' i tell future.

he seems like a decent guy, a genuine soul looking for answers. he says he will contact me at some point in time and we will begin the experiments. 

strange dreams, a friend of mine who is not really a friend invites himself over to mission control and then appears dressed in a military uniform complete with medals and regalia. he requests to stay the night but in the early hours wanders around into peoples bedrooms including my son whom is also living with me. the uniform begins to ask my son various questions, personel questions. it's soon morphs into an interrogation which i interrupt by grabbing him by the collar and throwing him out. 
next i'm at sydney airport, i have just checked my bags in and walk through passport control into a huge shopping area where i notice a large cafe. i head to get myself a coffee and notice an ex girlfriend there. i try to avoid her but she has seen me and starts following me. 

i shake her by weaving through crowds.

i do have a slight fever, get myself down to the docs and find out i have a chest infection. i have to take antibiotics. fucking pills, i hate them.  i have a few days off work at least, gotta take it easy chill out and relax. 

you haul ass to the city and meet some people, a wilde child and northman david, both members of that wonderful church family, old timers, strange souls caught in the glamour of our leading man, a boho genius from planet ziggy, a real talented mofo with brain power turned up higher than mere mortals. in an age of idols he's the antithesis, the thinking  woman's artiste extraordinaire. he took the path to pop stardom and ended up so much more. slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, pistol and sword of untold destiny, irony and fate on a hot plate. we will follow that star. we do.
i don't know, it's not much that gets me out these days but here was a much needed event, a shot in the arm, a deep fix for a stoned pessimistic captain mission, jonesing for something fucking alive and vital. energy fixes i need:

love.
plant medicine and cosmic thinking
the ocean and its waves on my body
sex and love with beautiful women
good stimulating thought provoking books
the church

these are the things i need to live.

last time i saw them was in a strange venue somewhere far out in an unknown place, a suburb of sydney i felt out of place in, in a venue that was chaotic and among a rowdy crowd of drunk people, pushing and heaving, carrying on like saturday night down the pub with the inxs cover band playing. the sound was distorted, i was in the wrong place, the songs went in and out of phase, the mix kept moving around and i promised myself next time i see them i will find a place at the back, in the middle and listen. 

don't get me wrong, i love being down the front but with musicians like these guys unless the sound is perfect it's a trade off. i want the quality.

this time around, the metro is a known known, a place i have seen many great bands and always found the crowd reasonable, the sound good, the small intimacy of a club yet the volume of a bigger one. tonight the queue outside was impressive, it must have been full capacity as they disappeared around the corner. i meet with gareth koch outside and we exchange our first coherent conversation, he's funny, we have a chuckle. the queue gets longer. we figure its sprawling around the block. 

we are the last to enter, northman david gets a text from our man inside, he's not going on until we are in.

the place is packed. i find a spot on the side, near the mix desk, settle in, hash cookie enhanced, ready to receive.

no track by track list will describe what is a very interesting mix of songs, they range from the classics to the new ones, all pulse with an energy i can only describe as new. the old songs are reborn, sounding vital and powerful. they sound like new songs. they penetrate the atmosphere like a lit fuse that winds around every one standing there in an ocean of people all totally captivated by the pulsing throbbing energy. two drummers make the sound feel more stadium, it's a bold but excellent move. percussion drives the songs but the man i watch memorized by is jeffery cain who in many ways seem to be like an infinite energy machine, perpetual motion in the shadows, linking up with the rhythm section of drums and bass. steve has always had a very distinctive bass sound, his playing looks like it's natural, like breathing, a zen technique where the instrument is the man and the man the instrument, it's beautiful to watch but very rare. i guess it's that thing, where you do what you love, time disappears, boundaries melt away. 

i aways thought of steve as a master musician, a man at the top of his game in almost everything he does. a leonardo, a picasso, australia's unsung legend for those who despise australia's obsession with sporting people. that was twenty years ago but what happens when you push even further, push beyond such things as hero, legend, rock god, artist, writer, actor, painter. i guess the veil of that glamour slips away and you are left as a man, humble, grateful and genuine. and then when you connect with the audience and the audience connects with you, it's a feedback loop, and strangely it feels like grace. 

so here i was in this feedback loop, massive amounts of energy, arcs of sound, mesmerizing beginnings, subtle crescendos, immaculate endings, at one point i see tim loose a drum stick and laugh as it reappears. not a beat missed. 

it's just all these people on stage are inside a zone and they invite us in, and we feel it, the transcendence,  the truth of nature, to rise spirit, to go beyond mundane reality into something beyond. this is not just rock and roll. 

the band have changed so much with the new incarnation. i adore where they are going, i just wish the newer songs were longer. they seemed to end far to early. each new song felt like a novel edited to a short story, i can't wait to hear the finished masterpiece in one sitting. a concept album. 

highlights were, 'it could be anyone, tantalized, columbus, shadow cabinet, you took, is this where you live, all the new songs especially no ascension. far out it was all top class stuff, not one moment where quality was forsaken, and  after two and a half hours i'd say there was a fair amount of quantity in there as well.

so i leave after the lovely rachel films me offering a few words on the show, i dunno, caught off guard without my make up, i feel like i need to go home, take this energy and feel it wash over me but she's whisked her camera out and i blab on about my post gig thoughts. 

i don't remember the journey home, all i know is my blood feels like its fresh and my soul feels good. sitting in this amazing energy, like a weird junkie priest high on some kind of magic drug. 

that gets me thinking about the way that energy sounded, the way the guitars all fed off one another, the interplay, the fusion  wielded by a union of members, the sum greater than the parts, that energy vibrating its way through me, into my bones, into my blood, a frequency of sound in waves, casting its influence. i was spell bound, i still am. the northman is, as is wilde child, we are all part of the same experience, steve's world of the church is our world, we all believe, we all know and it feels great to share it with one another. special.

i am cast back to the gig i mentioned in that strange part of sydney carinbah where outside the highfield venue we all wait for taxis and wilde child says to steve who is wearing wrap around shades in the moonlight, 'you look like a rockstar.'

steve without missing a beat says,' rockstar yeah, i just played at the highfield carinbah, some rock star.'

we all laugh.

but you know what?

steve is our rockstar and that's what matters.

48 hours later, i'm still riding that wave.

 

 

history shows me that centralised planning is inefficient and deadly. thinking the government, the state for solutions is a nonsense that defies everything we know about human behaviour, reason and life. 

why you ask?

because they take no accountability. 

governments get away with it, they don't pay fines, go to jail. they just preach down to the masses and the mass obey. any intelligent person should come at their government through a critical lens, it don't matter who they are, red blue, left right, centre. 

it's amazing how populations are just happy to hand over their trust to their governments. some hand over their children. 

 

now the world has gone nuts i feel at peace, the coven circles, chaos reigns as time circles like the ouroboros eating its own end. the good become the bad, the dumb rise to the top, the intelligent become the slaves, it's inversion. but here i am, still breathing in and out, still expanding like a big bubble.

physically i trim down back to my lithe self, muscle builds up, my physical strength returns as does my focus, the mind body becomes the body mind, energy flows through in clear and clean flux. my diet shifted, my skin glows, my heart beats strong again, i saw a spectral scan this afternoon, it looked incredible, like a sun, with a slight burst of solar flare. the work has paid off. i am ready for anything. 

  

amazed by how many people still follow the mainstream media, it's like they are totally gone, minds just conditioned to accept everything they are programmed. i once did a course with robert anton wilson, RAW who taught me to always question everything from multiple viewpoints. in some of his books he lists a number of exercises the reader can do to train the brain. then he inverts it by getting you to immerse yourself in viewpoints and ideologies you reject, so if you are anti gun start being pro gun for a week and go to gun clubs and mix with pro gun people and take on their ideas and rationale as an exercise. if you are a born again christian become islamic or satanic, the lesson being that these are ideas we attach ourselves to, these ideas propel us through our lives yet they can be adopted and abandoned very easily, they sometimes clash with one another but yet they are not the person, they just drive that person.

this is a precursor to chaos magick where belief is the engine that drives the practitioner. it is not the magick, that is the relationship you establish with the intelligent universe. these beliefs eventually fall away in tragedy which is why i am not an ideological person, there are no good ideas other than a few basic universal ones. the left overs usually are in conflict with one another, in the same way our internal conflicts come from two opposing ideas. should i eat the cake or the carrot, i can't decide and it's making me anxious. anxiety propels me towards the cake, the cake makes me fat, and makes me more anxious so i eat more cake. 

let them eat cake, a french girl once said.

me i say, eat both, but make a carrot cake.

now the nazi's run the world i keep a low profile, it's not the 'life during war time' talking heads sing about but it's close. there's no real difference with these new nazi's compared to the old ones, they don't wank on about aryan races so much but they are mostly aryan themselves, they just have 'useful idiots' to do the dirty work, the woke, the trans people, the brainwashed university types, the morons who watch abc or bbc for news, guardian readers, twitteratti, you know the type. 

what the useful idiots never learn because they are dumb or brainwashed ( you can help the brainwashed ones) is after the fight they come next. they are the first to go.

that's why they are known as 'useful idiots.'

check stalin.

me, i'm happy just being an idiot, but i will never be useful to the national socialists. the green movement and the globalists.

anyways, i watched a fantastic documentary about an american guy in california who goes around interviewing the gay community what side they support, isreal or palestine. yeah it's pretty polarizing but these young americans all said they support the palestinians.

then he takes his camera to palestine and interviews the citizens what they think about gays and lesbians and 99% percent of them replied they should be murdered. except one, who happened to be gay. he had to be filmed in secret and his identity withheld. he spoke about what the palestinian authority and hamas do to gays and lesbians and believe me, it wasn't good, end result death. then our intrepid reporter returns to the usa and shows the gay and lesbian useful idiots the results. It's fascinating, shocking and ultimately liberating as these poor useful idiots begin to realize everything they know is wrong. one even says, 'i have been given the wrong information.'

yeah well, i guess for the moment the nazi's have won, ironically a lot of dumb jews helped them, especially in the democrat party. suckers!

another fascinating interview i heard today was with sonia nassary cole on the situation in afghanistan. now this was heartbreaking, and anyone who voted for the democrats should listen to her story. it's an absolute horror story. fuck you democrats. 

the democrats are the real fascists, their agenda is terrifying if you value freedom and individual rights. unfortunately democrats and republicans are the same, it's a uni party with shared interests which is why trump is hated by them so much and the media attempt to destroy him. he wanted to drain the swamp and the swamp is everywhere, currently pumping money into the ukraine prolonging a war that is simple to resolve. 

the mainstream western media is failing, people switch off, seek alternatives and one that is reasonably good is TNT radio. it's an internet station that is broadcast around the world from various places with a wide range of views, but one thing they all share is they are generally united on the global machinations and what is coming. they get things wrong, but that's okay generally they are on the right track.

anyway, my heads down, i keep in the shadows, i eat my peanut butter and spinach rolls, i chat to my jos, yeah the witchcraft sisterhood is converging, i should start my own coven. 

  

down at the beach this morning watching the surf, i had my coffee and sat there looking at the waves. it's been a while since i went in myself, and i can feel the pull. that cold shock is a deterrent but i have to break through, tomorrow morning i decide.

i read a few chapters of a book, the warmth of the sun upon my skin, the irritating voice of a loud hungover moron behind me, talking to his girl. i have to move. i wander around the corner and discover much has changed in this sleepy town, there's a lot of live music, street entertainment i guess, the coffee shops are all upgraded and have slick new looks, there are exciting new restaurants and i discover a new bakery, specializing in sourdoughs and rye's and i pop in to have a look discover something amazing, something truly wonderful. 

my love of spinach pies goes back to my days in adalaide, where my partner and i would wake up after a debauched night and wander out for our coffee and spinach pie. this was the only time we ever left the house and the only food we ever ate. 

since that time my affection for spinach pies borders on obsessional, and all my friends know i would hunt sydney looking for a perfect pie, as good as the adalaide one. i almost found it around the corner from fountain plaza but they were inconsistent and seemed to go up in price every time i bought one, plus the bakery itself suffered from an interior design that i can only describe as the doldrums. bad energy kinda killed the pie experience. i've looked everywhere but never really found the ultimate pie / roll. 

there are variations on the pie, various cheeses, dried onion, spinach or silverbeet, you know it's a craft.

and then at this new local bakery, this perfect sunday morning i glimpse in the corner the pies / rolls.

there it is like the bloody holy grail, a perfect looking spinach roll. i line up and queue, the place is packed. it's lush inside, perfect presentation and products. the staff all look glamorous, like supermodels with immaculate hair and nails, eyelashes and suddenly i feel conflicted, what have i walked into?

at the counter a super friendly lady asks how she can help, with a tinge of ambiguity and suddenly i relax.

'a spinach roll please.'

i wave my card over the pay wave machine like a wand and am given a beautiful box wrapped up in a crisp brown paper bag. i offer my appreciation and wander around the corner back to the ocean where i find a seat and pull out this chunky roll. wow, it's hot but i bite in through the amazing crispy pastry and start my experience. 

simply put, this is the best spinach roll ever.

better than adaliade even. 

i'll be back. if this quality is consistent i think i have a new fave spot!