travel plans coming together finally, there's fucking light at the end of this tunnel. it's going to mean some hauling ass across a few places and some weird adventures with dangerous peoples but i'm ready for anything now, in fact gimmie danger little stranger and i'll feel your appeal. it's going to mean a huge chunk of time out but that's exactly what is required now. i can exit and disappear into thin air like a forgotten abandoned ghost. 
i have the future to forget, the past to catch and a moment of now to share. it's poetic in a way, the way the cards fell, the devil is out playing poker with souls but at least i am the one that gets away. 
there's a lot of work i need to do, repair myself. fix the fucking stupid thing that fucked me up. my old heart needs a reboot and it's not going to just happen in a vacuum. i think i understand everything now. that video she sent me is amazing, it does appear to speak more truth than perhaps i was ready to hear. i'm changing perspective. i'm doing it for us. there must be an us otherwise it's all just random shit and i refuse to believe that. in fact i will die fighting for the idea we have meaning and it is unfolding. everything will unfold in time as it must and i know my vision was accurate and true. yes timing was wrong for you, but in the grand scheme of things it was divine time, it is time. time is divine, just like you are. and me. i am also part of something divine, it exists within me, deeper than i know. you must have seen it else you would never have bothered with me, i saw a glimpse through you and surprisingly various others who seemed to echo your sentiments. the biggest deception was my own self which could not believe in my own self. now that's ironic.