always tripping over the next hallucination i find myself looking at the ocean down at the beach at dawn, it's so inviting i dive in, splash around, not much wave action but it's refreshing and kind. gentle splashes as i'm joined by some people in wetsuits, the old diggers, an early morning ritual. they swim past me out to the buoy (goldie) named after a dog that was a local surfer.
the sky and water are the same washed out turquoise, there's a small break that rides just above the shoulders as i suspend myself hoping it has force. it has weak force but it's groovy and sweet and i love it up. 
when i spin around and face the shore i notice the huge black shadow above the town, rain clouds, shaped like the end of everything. the sun suddenly extinguishes itself. i'm in another extinction event, people are running around, cars speed along, technicolored pandemonium moves quickly into darkness as the shadow obscuring sunlight like a cowl or batman's cape. times run out. i watch humanity sink or swim with vague indifference. i have seen everything under the sun, and now i get to see it under a cloud, the result is the same, i just want one final wave.
the surf swells, rising up. 
i wait patiently pondering the now deserted town, i can see the car park where i parked my car. it sits alone like a drop of blood. the shadow is moving fast and there are no waves coming, only one small figure silhouetted upon the shore hands swirl around it's head and i understand that it is waving. i watch momentarily hands move in arcs, drawing down power, legs sway like some sort of gymnastic ballet, precision and grace. 
who is that? 
who is it waving to?
i'm the only person left in the fucking ocean.
i start swimming towards the shore, towards this figure. the rain falls heavy, it makes quite a racket as i emerge from the water and run towards the lithe figure. it's a woman with a girls body, slim and slender, an pixie or elf, no, it's agent alchemist.
we embrace, it's been so long and i escort her to my car but she has her own, a french sporty convertible with a single windscreen wiper, i think of lady grinning soul but the rain suddenly turns to snow.
'can you bring the sun back?' i ask.
she waves her hands in some intricate gesture and the snow stops, sunlight rays across an immaculate horizon and the sky turns pinkish, birds start singing, even the water looks calm now. 
she's smiling, that face probably launched a thousand ships, armies and navies went to war for a face like that, ancient peloponnese sacked for beauty. yeah yeah, i see it all, karma, fate, destiny, it's all there if you know how to see. sometimes i wonder if it's my eyes or brain that offer me such vast perspective. is it a curse or a blessing.
the sun rises again, and she looks amazing. hold on to that mission i think. but the moment i think it, i have to let it go.