the road is littered with plastic banjo's from some sort of carnival of dreams. i speak slowly but talk fast, memories pour into my head from another life, can't hang my hat on those i think. the ground feels wobbly, another earthquake moment as it swallows me up into the nothing of nothing and here in my fall i see so many faces i forgot about.

the phone rings, it's a message from the past, over 20 years. oh dear, i always feel uncomfortable when the past returns, it's probably because i have moved forwards so much i don't like being dragged back.
it's hard to know what to do. it's cathy, probably a famous actress by now. i was always impressed by how much weed she could smoke and still remember her lines, she was beautiful and smart so i feel somewhat disarmed by the message.

'is this captain mission from avalon?'

i sit on it for a while. it's tricky, a beast of a dilemma. 
eventually, i figure what the hell, and i text her back.
'yes it is.'

'i'm living on a gold coast, still in touch with emma in usa, love to catch up with you, we often think about you. so glad we are connected after 20 + years'

oh, i think 20 years, i have no memory of us even parting only surfing, smoking weed and laughing it up big time. she was always very beautiful and kind to me. she was possessed of an english quality i like, a gentle femininity, soft and safe. she had a confidence in that, which i respected.