she is a hard mistress i know this from my own experience but she is true and loyal and loves. i know this as i feel it when i am tuned to her signal. i knew exactly what happened because i am usually in her signal. 
she is here to heal, there are no agendas, no ego. all those are part of you not her. it's easy to 'defy' most do but to 'embrace' is a different kettle of octopi, that takes mighty power and is not for everyone.
time is the teacher now in this stranger pathway, it's not the easy option, it's not the one we were offered or the one i feel good about but it's yours and that's what's important. so be it, i have to accept that and move onward. ay ho!