i don't like these moronic politicians, i don't like what they say, what they whine on and on about, incessant nonsense, funding this, funding that, economic gymnastics, number crunching, sound bytes and photo ops, it's all strategy and smoke and mirrors, all the same, all the time, those that really think there's a difference are kidding themselves, wake up australia, don't fucking vote for these two, don't vote green don't vote full stop, it just encourages them.
dumbocracy rules supreme, the best system from a bad bunch but it's not democracy, newspapers manipulate, the left creeps forwards with it's trendy lost causes, the right moves forwards with it's fear, there is no escape from it unless you unplug.
these people will sell your souls, they will take your spirit and crush it in an oppressive infrastructure of law and penalties, strange invisible strings that control and manipulate the cash crop. you.
i'm having a strange day, early morning i'm driving to a place i don't wanna go, a place where they stuck a knife in my back and then wept at my demise, a place where not one person ever stood up for what was right and just, instead like most of the zombies i have come across they took the easy way out, appeasement. yeah just like king kong, management needs a sacrifice, yeah put me in a cute dress, i'll be fay ray for you. but like all cute blonde's tied to a stake, the monster sooner or later falls in love with the victim and now they are calling me to return. i do my job, i leave and head back to mission control for a while, i play frisbee with pansy, i wander through the corridors and attempt some cleaning, the sun streams in, the trees look good, the sofa feels fine, my head feels fine, my heart feels fine, i do some meditations, i contemplate my last snuff song, unfinished and sitting there waiting for some closure, snuff music should be finished in two months, i have to do some vocal stuff and add some guitars. design a cover and write some sleeve notes, then it's done and i can move on to my next musical project.
i'm driving again, listening to something called white magick, it's beautiful, fuck, i can't believe the consistency here, it's really really good. these are songs, they are sad and sublime, these songs will only be appreciated by a few old souls, they will be heard and played but only a handful of quiet gentle souls will get it. it's the music i'd like to die to. the singing is perfect, such subtle harmonies, such magnificent structures. when i reach my destination i stop the car and listen to the end of the track, i can't leave it, it tears me apart.
i'm driving back and forwards, i'm tired, micro sleeps, i'm sleeping at traffic lights, i'm sleeping at give way signs, i'm tired and feeling empty, my battery is low, i'm in need of some kind of respite, it's been a long long day, a long long month, a long long long life. some one from perth is calling me, a girl i met a few years ago, she wants to see me, she's offering me a ticket, money in my account, but i know where it's all leading, a lost weekend, another girl another planet, the thought of it makes my head hurt, i feel trapped, i just wanna fucking keep driving and find some where safe to hide out. yeah perth sounds nice, all expenses paid, but honestly this woman would drive me mental in half and hour, i'll be looking for a way out, climbing up the walls, ripping the fucking program from her circuit, she's a lost cause really. i ignore the calls, ignore the texts and ignore my own selfish drive for isolation.
suddenly it's late and i miss hp, i really need to see her, need some sense of security and fucking perspective, everything seems to have fallen away, it's just loss after loss after loss. as i reach for the phone val calls, we lock in some recording days. i remind myself who i am, what i am, he's re affirmiong my mission. i'm a front line front man in a trans dimentional pop band, i have a message for you all, snuff music is coming. then hp calls, we make a tentative play date. i feel better now. i have to.
i miss steve as well, i realise now how lonely i am in this world, it's a handful of people that i can relate to now, a handful that share my passions, not many at all,
sometimes it's just joyous to spend time with those people, it makes me feel sane. there's not many people that can take plant medicine and listen to 'low' and feel the same, it makes me feel like i am worth something other than a paycheck, a face, a fucking eccentric old man who lives with a dog in a house near the beach. i gotta get focused now, get the surf happening, ride the waves, get the mental clarity, physical health organised, i got be the carrier of the message, i gotta fight and fuck my way through the bullshit and get me some liberation from the maya that drags us all down.
later i'm alone, quiet time, i'm about to text miss cupcake when she fires one first, it's the photo, all looks pretty good, a little tail turns out to be a cigarette, mmm, maybe just a hand, i don't know, to me it's just a blob. but i'm happy for her, she's got what she wanted and despite the circumstances i'm very very proud of her, i do love her and just want her to be happy and feel good about herself.
me, i'm feeling kinda strange, a bit sad actually. but it will pass, tomorrow when i throw myself into the surf it will all be washed away and i will emerge anew. my needs are not hers, my needs are specifically attuned to my great work, music and words, one day i will spawn the girl, jakob's counter point, i see her face sometimes, dark and mysterious, a sirens voice, an artistic heart, a rebel with cuase, a fighter and an artist, fire in her eyes, water in her smile, earth upon her hands and feet and air inhabits her spirit, no one can pin her down no one knows her, no one tames her, she is a wild spirit but her fathers daughter, and i know she calls me, but i think i have some time. i don't know why this impulse is so strong, miss cupcake has birthed it, but i think it has been there for about 10 years but now it is beating louder, everything is coming into being, the 2012 is reaching back to us, dragging us all into the interconnection, that girl is calling from my future, she is reaching backwards in time and space and her hand is directed at me. i can see this very clearly.
Monday, August 16, 2010
i wandered out into the garden, plucked myself a pair of apples. from a tree of life.
'share that with me' the naked woman said.
i replied, 'sure' and chucked her one. she went to bite into it but stopped short. 'what's up?' i asked.
'this apple is interesting, if we eat it we will loose our innocence.'
'who told you that?'
'the snake.'
'the one at the base of your spine?'
'yes.'
'well if we both eat it together we will loose our innocence but share the experience. that's can't be bad.' i reasoned.
'okay, that makes sense as long as we stick together.'
'i ain't going nowhere, i love this place and you.'
the apple gave them experience and they were happy, for how can they know anything without the experience of it.
'it's a garden of eden' he whispered to her, after they had made love.
'yes it is.' she agreed.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
some people have a mystical capability, they find awe and wonder in the world, or the phenomenon of consciousness whereas others have religious capacity. they want answers to big questions and will accept any absurdity.
of all our instincts the religious one is vulnerable to profound suggestibility. all to easily subverted for political or social control or to make a living for the wicked old men who run these institutions.
most religious seem indistinguishable from mental illness. it tends to narrow rather than expand horizons, it takes myth and metaphor as literal truth, it values faith over experience, and imposes certainty where open mindedness has more to offer.
if you think about the fundamentalist beliefs of organised religion they are somewhat deranged and when they have millions of followers they will become very angry if they are challenged on the nature of their reality.
we can never know for sure how much the ancients believed in their gods, did they belive in the logos type gods as actual independent entities, or did they believe in them as mythos style, metaphorical principles to explain the human world and heart.
the greeks would have believed in the mythos until christianity engulfed it, exchanging one roman empire for another.
at the council of nicea the assembled had to decide what written texts would constitute the truth, therefore most material was discarded.
paganism had no texts.
it was all oral and designed to be elaborated upon by the orator according to taste and usefulness.
the new logo centric monotheism with a literal insistence upon the word of scriptures discourages mythological thinking and any reasoned enquiry. at the same time another logos centred monotheistic religion was growing with exactly the same technique, a sacred and absolutely true book.
man controls religion, has steered it from the goddess tradition, into a patriarchal control and power construct that is ignorant and dangerous. men have a lot to answer for.
of all our instincts the religious one is vulnerable to profound suggestibility. all to easily subverted for political or social control or to make a living for the wicked old men who run these institutions.
most religious seem indistinguishable from mental illness. it tends to narrow rather than expand horizons, it takes myth and metaphor as literal truth, it values faith over experience, and imposes certainty where open mindedness has more to offer.
if you think about the fundamentalist beliefs of organised religion they are somewhat deranged and when they have millions of followers they will become very angry if they are challenged on the nature of their reality.
we can never know for sure how much the ancients believed in their gods, did they belive in the logos type gods as actual independent entities, or did they believe in them as mythos style, metaphorical principles to explain the human world and heart.
the greeks would have believed in the mythos until christianity engulfed it, exchanging one roman empire for another.
at the council of nicea the assembled had to decide what written texts would constitute the truth, therefore most material was discarded.
paganism had no texts.
it was all oral and designed to be elaborated upon by the orator according to taste and usefulness.
the new logo centric monotheism with a literal insistence upon the word of scriptures discourages mythological thinking and any reasoned enquiry. at the same time another logos centred monotheistic religion was growing with exactly the same technique, a sacred and absolutely true book.
man controls religion, has steered it from the goddess tradition, into a patriarchal control and power construct that is ignorant and dangerous. men have a lot to answer for.
the morning, sunday mornings all start the same, me and a dog wandering other peoples debris leftover hungover spillovers from a saturaday night they will never remember, we take the frisbee down to the park and pan bedazzles the early morning joggers and newspaper hounds with his death defying leaps and mid air aerobics as he catches the disc. he is dog supreme, a canine god, he is my anubis, leading me into the after world, the feather of maat lays upon an ancient scale, awaiting measurement against my still beating heart.
i'm sitting around, like a stoned philosopher waiting for hp and jules to take me to the organic market on a mission we had arranged mid week but they do not show, they do not call, such is the unsubstantiated commitment women have with men. it's okay, i've learnt not to inflict my high standards on anyone else so i settle into domestic bliss and contentment like a small fish in a large aquarium.
the universe sends me miss cupcake, and we have a very massive breakfast together, she is indeed looking the best i have ever seen her but i'm not sure if i can be totally objective, she is luminous, the healthy lifestyle is beginning to take effect, although she won't ever acknowledge this due to a glitch in her perception. i've come across this distortion many times in many women, it's a product of a male dominated agenda, the beauty myth. it's a terrible crime that men are guilty of as a species and a collective as they plunder reality to spread their lies and deceptions. beauty is the heart, i don't like women who are to fat, just as i don't like very skinny girls, i like women to be alive, balanced and healthy but most off all intelligent, for there is no point in dating an android. i've spend enough time with androids to know they only run one good program and it's not after sex conversation, beauty is something that lies within the heart, it stays long after looks fade, in fact it starts to slip out and makes some older people shine with beauty where as others just may as well hide away under hair dye and lipstick and eye liners and the cosmetic industry which in reality is the pharmaceutical industry.
so we head down the markets together, me and her, two peas in a pod, she seeks out cacti and i a hat i'm fond of. the market seems to be very stale and have a strange energy, unhealthy faker's, her perceptive mind scans it, see this is why i believe in you, you see through fakery fast, you have that power yet you don't believe in it.
the other day we wandered through shops and i passed a man who i said was very sick, you knew that as well. it was all over his auric field spilling out, he has a serious tumorous growth in his bowels, he has not got long left, i know you knew that but you don't trust yourself.
underneath all the masks your the brightest star in the sky miss cupcake, if you don't trust yourself trust me.
so the market ends suddenly, we head down to a pet shop and you mention your ring is missing, the one you really liked, rose quartz on a gold setting. inexplicable but it can't be missing, it must be some where. i don't want that to be lost, i'm attached to it being attached to you, for some reason it did look very good and suited you. i look at your feet again, i've been looking at them all day in those shoes, it's driving me nuts, i have to force myself to think about something else.
a hail storm passes over us, lightning flashes, sirens, my two phobias out from the blue.
i catch a piece of hail for you, you grab it and throw it out the other side, what a strange journey that small hailstone has had, snatched from it's fall, passed onwards from one person to another and then tossed out to finish it's journey.
i leave. driving home i listen to richard ashcroft singing about, 'those feet in modern times' and i think yes, those feet in modern times.
i don't know much anubis, but pluck my heart out and weigh it against maats feather and i'm sure my heart will be lighter now than this morning.
i'm sitting around, like a stoned philosopher waiting for hp and jules to take me to the organic market on a mission we had arranged mid week but they do not show, they do not call, such is the unsubstantiated commitment women have with men. it's okay, i've learnt not to inflict my high standards on anyone else so i settle into domestic bliss and contentment like a small fish in a large aquarium.
the universe sends me miss cupcake, and we have a very massive breakfast together, she is indeed looking the best i have ever seen her but i'm not sure if i can be totally objective, she is luminous, the healthy lifestyle is beginning to take effect, although she won't ever acknowledge this due to a glitch in her perception. i've come across this distortion many times in many women, it's a product of a male dominated agenda, the beauty myth. it's a terrible crime that men are guilty of as a species and a collective as they plunder reality to spread their lies and deceptions. beauty is the heart, i don't like women who are to fat, just as i don't like very skinny girls, i like women to be alive, balanced and healthy but most off all intelligent, for there is no point in dating an android. i've spend enough time with androids to know they only run one good program and it's not after sex conversation, beauty is something that lies within the heart, it stays long after looks fade, in fact it starts to slip out and makes some older people shine with beauty where as others just may as well hide away under hair dye and lipstick and eye liners and the cosmetic industry which in reality is the pharmaceutical industry.
so we head down the markets together, me and her, two peas in a pod, she seeks out cacti and i a hat i'm fond of. the market seems to be very stale and have a strange energy, unhealthy faker's, her perceptive mind scans it, see this is why i believe in you, you see through fakery fast, you have that power yet you don't believe in it.
the other day we wandered through shops and i passed a man who i said was very sick, you knew that as well. it was all over his auric field spilling out, he has a serious tumorous growth in his bowels, he has not got long left, i know you knew that but you don't trust yourself.
underneath all the masks your the brightest star in the sky miss cupcake, if you don't trust yourself trust me.
so the market ends suddenly, we head down to a pet shop and you mention your ring is missing, the one you really liked, rose quartz on a gold setting. inexplicable but it can't be missing, it must be some where. i don't want that to be lost, i'm attached to it being attached to you, for some reason it did look very good and suited you. i look at your feet again, i've been looking at them all day in those shoes, it's driving me nuts, i have to force myself to think about something else.
a hail storm passes over us, lightning flashes, sirens, my two phobias out from the blue.
i catch a piece of hail for you, you grab it and throw it out the other side, what a strange journey that small hailstone has had, snatched from it's fall, passed onwards from one person to another and then tossed out to finish it's journey.
i leave. driving home i listen to richard ashcroft singing about, 'those feet in modern times' and i think yes, those feet in modern times.
i don't know much anubis, but pluck my heart out and weigh it against maats feather and i'm sure my heart will be lighter now than this morning.
contemplates someone's navel, ferries moan and leak all over the place, dreams invaded by future, invisible hands banish anxiety, memories interfere with the moment, lost unconscious becomes discovered like an old archeology, the geography ebbs and wanes, the landscapes transform, all is shifting like smoke escaping and what remains is...
i'm a seven star hotel, check in and stay. i am the universal cruise ship so get on board and cruise, i am the shopping mall of truth come and shop within, everything is free, i am the ambrosia of drinking, my cup is always full, i am the sexual, spiritual, emotional, intellectual belle époque.
stars aligned, burning across the skies tearing rips as they cross path's who can say what destiny they take, self directed or greater, there's a time to submit and a time to surrender and there's time for everything in-between.
i'm a seven star hotel, check in and stay. i am the universal cruise ship so get on board and cruise, i am the shopping mall of truth come and shop within, everything is free, i am the ambrosia of drinking, my cup is always full, i am the sexual, spiritual, emotional, intellectual belle époque.
stars aligned, burning across the skies tearing rips as they cross path's who can say what destiny they take, self directed or greater, there's a time to submit and a time to surrender and there's time for everything in-between.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
there are a few songs i cannot listen to.
one is wilcos, how to fight loneliness. you played that cd to me about 10 years ago and i singled that song out as being perfect, i played it non stop, it was the saddest song i'd heard and it had the most wonderful piano. i have always loved that piano sound, melancholy haunting and so terribly sad.i played it over and over to you almost obsessively.
i couldn't listen to that song ever after, i still can't, and you played it to me in a car a few days ago and i almost broke, something that fractured a long time ago seemed to just crack open.
i don't know why you played that song?
i'm glad we were in a car and there was a lot of distractions, i'm glad we didn't have to face one another, i'm glad i had my sunglasses to hide behind.
10 years filling my heart with smoke, that's exactly how i dealt with it. with us. with you. i was deeply in love with you. it was real for me.
How To Fight Loneliness :
by
wilco
How to fight loneliness?
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth 'til meaningless
And sharpen them with lies
And whatever's going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
And fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
That's how you fight it
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
one is wilcos, how to fight loneliness. you played that cd to me about 10 years ago and i singled that song out as being perfect, i played it non stop, it was the saddest song i'd heard and it had the most wonderful piano. i have always loved that piano sound, melancholy haunting and so terribly sad.i played it over and over to you almost obsessively.
i couldn't listen to that song ever after, i still can't, and you played it to me in a car a few days ago and i almost broke, something that fractured a long time ago seemed to just crack open.
i don't know why you played that song?
i'm glad we were in a car and there was a lot of distractions, i'm glad we didn't have to face one another, i'm glad i had my sunglasses to hide behind.
10 years filling my heart with smoke, that's exactly how i dealt with it. with us. with you. i was deeply in love with you. it was real for me.
How To Fight Loneliness :
by
wilco
How to fight loneliness?
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth 'til meaningless
And sharpen them with lies
And whatever's going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
And fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
That's how you fight it
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
okay so my star rises and falls and rises, yesterday venus soared today mars, balanced between jupiter, i'm loved and at war, but fortune smiles upon those who are acutely attuned, fortune and fate, the road fortune travels upon.
i'm just a solider in an invisible army, we have all died over and over, there's no fear left for death but a little for life. life has jaded us, made us loose the things we loved, the things we love, there is only one escape from this knowledge and we are facing it. death plays chess with us, it moves in my shadow, holding me in check often but i'm always one move ahead, until now.
now i see the mate, the finality of this game, it's up ahead but i don't mind, i'll run into it's arms and surprise it, but in the meantime i have work to do, songs to write, projects to complete.
i'm just a solider in an invisible army, we have all died over and over, there's no fear left for death but a little for life. life has jaded us, made us loose the things we loved, the things we love, there is only one escape from this knowledge and we are facing it. death plays chess with us, it moves in my shadow, holding me in check often but i'm always one move ahead, until now.
now i see the mate, the finality of this game, it's up ahead but i don't mind, i'll run into it's arms and surprise it, but in the meantime i have work to do, songs to write, projects to complete.
i dream about you now, you are happy and content, your mind is still and calm and you have no desire for drinking left. you shine with beauty, radiate joy and confidence in your ability. it's a wonderful thing for me to see, a really wonderful thing to share. we do a lot of things together, almost everything but we will always have our own space, i will always insist on feeling safe and having a place where i can retreat to. this insecurity is 10 years old, more now but it is real for me, a fear i need to adapt to not suppress. i know something terrible happened with us once, something really bad that made me incredibly sad and detached from everything, a minor trauma in my life i guess but one that i seem to revisit occasionally when i am with you and you talk about drinking. it's something i will never do, my hates are, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, sports, meat industry and the slaves who support them.
you are unrecognisable in your new persona, the old one has been banished and the new one is supreme. you did this i say, your true nature. our imagination over will under love.
you are unrecognisable in your new persona, the old one has been banished and the new one is supreme. you did this i say, your true nature. our imagination over will under love.
Friday, August 13, 2010
we have been jaded and battered, like old conscripted soldiers, on the battlefield against forces of darkness, impossible systems, babel like structures that reach for the sky in hubris, we carry the weight of several lifetimes, we know this one is testing us, we know life is a veil of tears, we know that there's some thing behind it, we know that there is intelligence to the chaos but the clusterfuck has hit us hard. it's not playing by the rules we play by, it's a malevolent thing, an insidious energy, but there are ways to fight it without fighting.
we have no choice, it's out to destroy us, make us lesser than we are, make us loose our integrity, make us become like the enemy. the only way forwards is to use magick and love, imagination under love over magick.
the morning comes, we walk along the town, shops open, people drink lattes, the sky looks clear, the ocean is majestic, waves are monstrous, we watch the dolphins, we watch a surfer ride in, it's an amazing ride, his board weaves along generating speed and velocity, it's one man on a small board in the most petrifying force, a mass of churning water, sustaining life amazing.
we wander back, we have some tea and do some tricks with technology. i have the most amazing music in my iphone, i really can't believe it, i really can't. it is indeed the best friday 13th. thank you. it's a big deal for me, that music is like blood and oxygen.
later i meet my clusterfuck for lunch, she's awesome, just beautiful, i just want to dive into her and sleep for the next 20 years but it's never that simple with clusterfucks.
we eat a spinach pie, she goes shopping, she buys beautiful things, and looks like she belongs within the glamourous world, i'd so love to just take her away to somewhere simple, where there are no shopping, no magazines, no gossip, no society, so it would be just me and you sister and the ultimate confrontation, you would have to meet yourself naked. no drugs, no drinks, nothing but the good stuff, love, healing and some one that loves you because you are intoxicating when your not intoxicated.
we have no choice, it's out to destroy us, make us lesser than we are, make us loose our integrity, make us become like the enemy. the only way forwards is to use magick and love, imagination under love over magick.
the morning comes, we walk along the town, shops open, people drink lattes, the sky looks clear, the ocean is majestic, waves are monstrous, we watch the dolphins, we watch a surfer ride in, it's an amazing ride, his board weaves along generating speed and velocity, it's one man on a small board in the most petrifying force, a mass of churning water, sustaining life amazing.
we wander back, we have some tea and do some tricks with technology. i have the most amazing music in my iphone, i really can't believe it, i really can't. it is indeed the best friday 13th. thank you. it's a big deal for me, that music is like blood and oxygen.
later i meet my clusterfuck for lunch, she's awesome, just beautiful, i just want to dive into her and sleep for the next 20 years but it's never that simple with clusterfucks.
we eat a spinach pie, she goes shopping, she buys beautiful things, and looks like she belongs within the glamourous world, i'd so love to just take her away to somewhere simple, where there are no shopping, no magazines, no gossip, no society, so it would be just me and you sister and the ultimate confrontation, you would have to meet yourself naked. no drugs, no drinks, nothing but the good stuff, love, healing and some one that loves you because you are intoxicating when your not intoxicated.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
great night with a friend listening to david bowie's low, which i had not heard for a long time and he mentioned it just as the same time i was thinking of it but it was a night of psychic energy, running along side one another in the cluster fuck. any way it was great, like two stars coming into alignment.
anytime man, you know i love you.
heart charkra.
anytime man, you know i love you.
heart charkra.
i had a great morning, it seemed like a long time had passed and it was lovely drinking green tea and watching you navigate the dramas, ex boyfriends husbands, men who love you, men who hate you, and the strange man who drinks green tea with you. there's no drama there miss, just me and you.
i don't know but that hour in that cafe was what i needed today, it lifts my spirits, and made me happy spending time looking at your feet and eyes, i liked your futile attempts to feed me things i didn't want.
i liked the shoes you bought, they were perfect for those feet. i think i had a hot flush or something. i think i nearly passed out.
i don't know, you complain all the time about the way you look but i just see a beautiful woman, i don't know what your problem is, some sort of weird bulimic distortion, yeah well i know you are changing and it's a shock but truthfully, you look fucking amazing.
maybe you just need to return my mirror.
i hate you
x
i don't know but that hour in that cafe was what i needed today, it lifts my spirits, and made me happy spending time looking at your feet and eyes, i liked your futile attempts to feed me things i didn't want.
i liked the shoes you bought, they were perfect for those feet. i think i had a hot flush or something. i think i nearly passed out.
i don't know, you complain all the time about the way you look but i just see a beautiful woman, i don't know what your problem is, some sort of weird bulimic distortion, yeah well i know you are changing and it's a shock but truthfully, you look fucking amazing.
maybe you just need to return my mirror.
i hate you
x
your challenge is one of discipline and choice. they are karmic influences that cause you considerable pain, and they have both entrapped you in a decisive strategy that you are only subliminally aware of. the toxic lifestyle controls you, but you have a chance here for liberation, it's a good chance but it requires you take on the challenge of choice and discipline.
making a choice requires a clear mind, free from impulsive trickery and foggy consequences and the company of idiots.
once a choice is made it needs discipline to stay in the decision.
discipline comes from knowing who you are. if you are identified as the clique drunk party person then that is what you remain, it's an inescapable fate. others share the perception and re enforce the reality. your friends are not your friends, they are sating their own impulsive demons, you all re affirm your lifestyle to one another so it becomes, validation.
a true friend will not.
a true friend will not feed you these things and assist you in becoming more healthy and living a cleaner life, free from dramatic impulses and the lure of the glamour. these are rare people, most won't stick around, they will see a lost cause. i know that you are not even any where near full potential, i know you're struggling with it, the lost years, the wasted relationships and the meaningless empty void. these are the energies one needs to acknowledge before one can break free from them. they do not define you.they are a process at work.
discipline is one choice, one single thing, a commitment to an exercise regime, plan, man, woman, a child, a responsibility embraced, it is this path that leads to liberation, lest i would never spend my time with you. the secret of relationships is being there for that person, believing in them.
i believe in you.
making a choice requires a clear mind, free from impulsive trickery and foggy consequences and the company of idiots.
once a choice is made it needs discipline to stay in the decision.
discipline comes from knowing who you are. if you are identified as the clique drunk party person then that is what you remain, it's an inescapable fate. others share the perception and re enforce the reality. your friends are not your friends, they are sating their own impulsive demons, you all re affirm your lifestyle to one another so it becomes, validation.
a true friend will not.
a true friend will not feed you these things and assist you in becoming more healthy and living a cleaner life, free from dramatic impulses and the lure of the glamour. these are rare people, most won't stick around, they will see a lost cause. i know that you are not even any where near full potential, i know you're struggling with it, the lost years, the wasted relationships and the meaningless empty void. these are the energies one needs to acknowledge before one can break free from them. they do not define you.they are a process at work.
discipline is one choice, one single thing, a commitment to an exercise regime, plan, man, woman, a child, a responsibility embraced, it is this path that leads to liberation, lest i would never spend my time with you. the secret of relationships is being there for that person, believing in them.
i believe in you.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
i will tell you something, a story. it's a true story and it happened to me when i was in canada. it's a love story and it ends in a tragic comic farce, much like most of my love affairs, it is riddled with the surreal and the bizarre, it is my life in one short moment. a metaphor, you will laugh out loud and then you will feel something else....
i was young, travelling around america and canada, i made my own way up north hitching and meeting renegades, living rough, stealing food from restaurants, picking up nickles and dimes from passing strangers, until i reached montreal, where some family lived.
my aunt joan was a professor at mcgill university, she specialized in first people culture, she was an academic, head always buried in some interesting book, her husband dan was the same kind of man, a reader and a comic, he had a deep booming laugh and a peaceful calm nature, i blended in with the family perfectly, we would gather in the basement reading silently for hours, all three of us in our own worlds, it was beautiful.
my cousin also lived in montreal, he was working for an airline and was in charge of their security. one day he made me a proposition, i had no cash, nothing and it sounded exciting. he wanted me to work for him.
basically i would be the guinea pig, testing the security of all the staff involved in the airline, he would train me and teach me what to do and i would go out and do it, we would be testing the integrity of security system. he did mention there would be risk involved but i would earn a ticket to anywhere i wanted. so i agreed.
i was given a script, it was not a fixed script and i was allowed to improvise around it. basically i took a wad off cash into the airlines office downtown and booked a flight with about 4 major stops, ie, montreal, vancouver, rome, london i would pay with a wad off cash and ask some questions about the security and what kind of hand luggage i would be allowed to take on board. the questions were not to obvious and being a creative sort i used a lot of flirting techniques within the conversation, to make it quite natural. the assistants always enjoyed my exuberance, i hammed it up and left them smiling. so i would have a ticket, and on the day of the flight i would carry a large canvas bag which i would check in. inside the bag amongst my jeans, scarves and books was a small box filled with electrical components, yes remarkably like an explosive device. the idea being that when the airport security searched my bag they would discover the package and do their job, while a team of observers would watch from the wings. invariably security was called, sometimes they would grab me or push me around before the observers got there. one day i was at the airport bar waiting for my flight to be called. i 'd had a few drinks and started talking to this french canadian girl who was absolutely stunning. stunning i tells ya.
not only was she beautiful but she had this cute french accent and was really interested in me, telling me that she will show me around montreal.i smiled and she grabbed my face and kissed me.
then they called my flight.
'look wait here i'll be back in a moment.' i whispered.
then i ran down, grabbed my bag and joined the queue for the check in.
when they started opening up my bag they pulled out the small box and asked me what it was.
i followed the script, 'i don't know i never saw that before.'
as i pleaded my innocence about twenty swat guys stormed the room and encircled me with their machine guns pointed at me.
i put my hands up and they marched me away. i looked around for my cousin but as i looked above me i saw the cute canadian girl staring down at this horrific scene unfolding below her. i was led into a small room and then my cousin appeared.
by the time i made it back to the bar my girl had gone.
that's the way it goes i guess but i will never forget her face, the look off absolute horror and disappointment. the sadness in her face, i could almost hear her heart breaking. and that's the way it is with me and girls, good intentions, the road to hell.
i was young, travelling around america and canada, i made my own way up north hitching and meeting renegades, living rough, stealing food from restaurants, picking up nickles and dimes from passing strangers, until i reached montreal, where some family lived.
my aunt joan was a professor at mcgill university, she specialized in first people culture, she was an academic, head always buried in some interesting book, her husband dan was the same kind of man, a reader and a comic, he had a deep booming laugh and a peaceful calm nature, i blended in with the family perfectly, we would gather in the basement reading silently for hours, all three of us in our own worlds, it was beautiful.
my cousin also lived in montreal, he was working for an airline and was in charge of their security. one day he made me a proposition, i had no cash, nothing and it sounded exciting. he wanted me to work for him.
basically i would be the guinea pig, testing the security of all the staff involved in the airline, he would train me and teach me what to do and i would go out and do it, we would be testing the integrity of security system. he did mention there would be risk involved but i would earn a ticket to anywhere i wanted. so i agreed.
i was given a script, it was not a fixed script and i was allowed to improvise around it. basically i took a wad off cash into the airlines office downtown and booked a flight with about 4 major stops, ie, montreal, vancouver, rome, london i would pay with a wad off cash and ask some questions about the security and what kind of hand luggage i would be allowed to take on board. the questions were not to obvious and being a creative sort i used a lot of flirting techniques within the conversation, to make it quite natural. the assistants always enjoyed my exuberance, i hammed it up and left them smiling. so i would have a ticket, and on the day of the flight i would carry a large canvas bag which i would check in. inside the bag amongst my jeans, scarves and books was a small box filled with electrical components, yes remarkably like an explosive device. the idea being that when the airport security searched my bag they would discover the package and do their job, while a team of observers would watch from the wings. invariably security was called, sometimes they would grab me or push me around before the observers got there. one day i was at the airport bar waiting for my flight to be called. i 'd had a few drinks and started talking to this french canadian girl who was absolutely stunning. stunning i tells ya.
not only was she beautiful but she had this cute french accent and was really interested in me, telling me that she will show me around montreal.i smiled and she grabbed my face and kissed me.
then they called my flight.
'look wait here i'll be back in a moment.' i whispered.
then i ran down, grabbed my bag and joined the queue for the check in.
when they started opening up my bag they pulled out the small box and asked me what it was.
i followed the script, 'i don't know i never saw that before.'
as i pleaded my innocence about twenty swat guys stormed the room and encircled me with their machine guns pointed at me.
i put my hands up and they marched me away. i looked around for my cousin but as i looked above me i saw the cute canadian girl staring down at this horrific scene unfolding below her. i was led into a small room and then my cousin appeared.
by the time i made it back to the bar my girl had gone.
that's the way it goes i guess but i will never forget her face, the look off absolute horror and disappointment. the sadness in her face, i could almost hear her heart breaking. and that's the way it is with me and girls, good intentions, the road to hell.
july 2012 the stock market crashes due to an internet virus known as the bloomberg bomb, named after it's suspected creator the ex mayor of new york and his team of renegade hackers, who are known as the animal liberation against retrograde man, or ALARM for short.
society falls apart, the markets stop most countries functioning economically, the fabric of west is crippled and civilizations great move forwards ceases. this is a global financial crash that sends everything against the wall at 100 mph. ripples are felt everywhere across the planet.
the military takes over running essential services but ALARM has total control of all technology via a god chip that hacks all software programs. millions of people are dead, riots break out across the globe, and communities are under threat from marauders and thieves looking for food and water. it's a classic endgame scenario except ALARM has a proposition for mankind.
the human experiment has failed, god is indeed dead and buried, bloomberg suggests a compromise, human dna spliced with animal, anthropomorphism on a massive scale, the idea is that we are not several species existing on one diverse planet, we are a diverse variety of the same species, dna. it was an idea darwin considered quite plausible but the age he was born into was not willing to accept after being shaken by evolutionary theory. bloomberg offers humanity a way out, merge with the animal kingdom or the alternative is humanity is at the bottom of the food chain, following the millions of others, 'almost made it' and 'close but no cigar' species that followed the path top extinction.
the representatives of humanity reluctantly agree and bloomberg releases a virus that alters the genetic structure of the human genome incorporating animal dna into human dna on a random level, he unintentionally includes plant dna in the mix and through an arbitrary process hybrid organisms now exist, there are no pure humans left except all aborigional peoples, all south american tribes for this is a new age.
ALARM form a small community in madagascar they name liberatria. they are the only group to select their own evolution as they watch over the earth as guardians. bloomberg reveals himself to be none other than captain mission, he declares the earth a planet of peace, harmony and love, and then invites the anteries empire for tea and lumberjack cake. the 2nd enlightenment has arrived.
the lamb man shark lays down with the girraffe lion woman.
society falls apart, the markets stop most countries functioning economically, the fabric of west is crippled and civilizations great move forwards ceases. this is a global financial crash that sends everything against the wall at 100 mph. ripples are felt everywhere across the planet.
the military takes over running essential services but ALARM has total control of all technology via a god chip that hacks all software programs. millions of people are dead, riots break out across the globe, and communities are under threat from marauders and thieves looking for food and water. it's a classic endgame scenario except ALARM has a proposition for mankind.
the human experiment has failed, god is indeed dead and buried, bloomberg suggests a compromise, human dna spliced with animal, anthropomorphism on a massive scale, the idea is that we are not several species existing on one diverse planet, we are a diverse variety of the same species, dna. it was an idea darwin considered quite plausible but the age he was born into was not willing to accept after being shaken by evolutionary theory. bloomberg offers humanity a way out, merge with the animal kingdom or the alternative is humanity is at the bottom of the food chain, following the millions of others, 'almost made it' and 'close but no cigar' species that followed the path top extinction.
the representatives of humanity reluctantly agree and bloomberg releases a virus that alters the genetic structure of the human genome incorporating animal dna into human dna on a random level, he unintentionally includes plant dna in the mix and through an arbitrary process hybrid organisms now exist, there are no pure humans left except all aborigional peoples, all south american tribes for this is a new age.
ALARM form a small community in madagascar they name liberatria. they are the only group to select their own evolution as they watch over the earth as guardians. bloomberg reveals himself to be none other than captain mission, he declares the earth a planet of peace, harmony and love, and then invites the anteries empire for tea and lumberjack cake. the 2nd enlightenment has arrived.
the lamb man shark lays down with the girraffe lion woman.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
you don't know me, you look at me as see a face, a body, a man who sports an unusual look, a strange eccentric personality but deep down under the surface you don't belive, you don't understand, you try to put a label upon it, you try to pin it down, but it's ever changing, always shifting, the moment you think you have it it's something else, non locality. people say i am evasive, secretive, mercurial and it is true i am these things until i trust you, i am smog.
then when trust is established i am the light through the prism, all wavelengths, travelling in all directions, from a good intention.
then when trust is established i am the light through the prism, all wavelengths, travelling in all directions, from a good intention.
i once wrote that a great truth includes it's own contradiction, peter carrol writes,
'great people invariably contain great contradictions, internal self consistancy has no virtue, it merly cuases mediocracy. we should strive to make the most of all our selves that we contain for each of us can function as a god if the others stop retraining it. we would function better if we thought as a team, and by occassionally letting one manifest as a god form.'
'great people invariably contain great contradictions, internal self consistancy has no virtue, it merly cuases mediocracy. we should strive to make the most of all our selves that we contain for each of us can function as a god if the others stop retraining it. we would function better if we thought as a team, and by occassionally letting one manifest as a god form.'
angela
i don't know what happened, it's all hazy and crazy, i remember me and you in a field, halfway across america, i was really young, must have still been in my teens, you were older. you seemed to have it all planned out for me and i was going along with you, i would have gone along all the way but you seemed to go crazy, getting all possessive and demanding and something nice and soft suddenly became hard and complex, i've never been good in complex relationships, this must be where it all started.
you were cute but i would not say beautiful, you were a strange english girl, who was out of her comfort zone, whereas i was thriving in america, i embraced it, i dropped all my preconceptions and looked out across the horizon, looked out at the vast skies and the expanse of lands, i felt the spirit of burroughs, steinbeck, falkner, it was calling me, only i could hear it, only my heart heard the call while you followed a english pull that repulsed me. i said i couldn't do it, you cryed and i felt nothing but relief. that was a long time ago, i didn't even know what love was.
i hitched north, i slept on picnic tables, i spent my nights in bus stations waiting for the early morning bus, i stayed in strangers houses, i walked through the night, slept in the back seat of cars, all the way to canada where i actually did fall in love.
i don't know what happened, it's all hazy and crazy, i remember me and you in a field, halfway across america, i was really young, must have still been in my teens, you were older. you seemed to have it all planned out for me and i was going along with you, i would have gone along all the way but you seemed to go crazy, getting all possessive and demanding and something nice and soft suddenly became hard and complex, i've never been good in complex relationships, this must be where it all started.
you were cute but i would not say beautiful, you were a strange english girl, who was out of her comfort zone, whereas i was thriving in america, i embraced it, i dropped all my preconceptions and looked out across the horizon, looked out at the vast skies and the expanse of lands, i felt the spirit of burroughs, steinbeck, falkner, it was calling me, only i could hear it, only my heart heard the call while you followed a english pull that repulsed me. i said i couldn't do it, you cryed and i felt nothing but relief. that was a long time ago, i didn't even know what love was.
i hitched north, i slept on picnic tables, i spent my nights in bus stations waiting for the early morning bus, i stayed in strangers houses, i walked through the night, slept in the back seat of cars, all the way to canada where i actually did fall in love.
nicole 2
ha i think i first met you when i had nothing, no home, no possessions, no money. a guy called wayne forced a sauce pan upon me, it was my only possession. you must have felt sorry for me or i left an impression upon you.
years later when i was settled we met a few times, i remember taking you out to my favorite bar in the city, we were drinking white russians and you pulled out a cigar. we played backgammon in a little booth and flirted around like drunk lovers before rolling home.
we were always close as friends but then we separated for a long time, i think you went to live in new zealand with some playboy.
i don't know how it happened but you rang me when i was living in palm beach, you said you wanted to visit me for three days while you were in sydney but you ended up staying for three months. we drunk a lot of absinthe under the stars and our boundaries dissolved. they were great nights. you rearranged my whole home, it looked fantastic you were falling in love with me but them you saw my shadows, you warned me not to mess with the cosmos but it was far to late, you did have some perception, you made a good scarlet woman, you met my other girlfriend and like all poly relationships i have had, you both decided eventually that i was some kind of pawn to be played. but neither of you knew i was broken then, already defeated, i was not even on the road to healing, the last thing i could think about was anything serious.
at least you were honest, you said i was selfish and i said i needed as much love as i could get. we remained friends until you tried to sleep with my other girlfriend, a girl i hadn't even slept with. yeah she was beautiful and i don't blame you but all that sneaking around was unnecessary.
you went back to your playboy mansion, i moved onwards.
it was never love but it was something, maybe just need. i had a need then and nothing could fill it.
ha i think i first met you when i had nothing, no home, no possessions, no money. a guy called wayne forced a sauce pan upon me, it was my only possession. you must have felt sorry for me or i left an impression upon you.
years later when i was settled we met a few times, i remember taking you out to my favorite bar in the city, we were drinking white russians and you pulled out a cigar. we played backgammon in a little booth and flirted around like drunk lovers before rolling home.
we were always close as friends but then we separated for a long time, i think you went to live in new zealand with some playboy.
i don't know how it happened but you rang me when i was living in palm beach, you said you wanted to visit me for three days while you were in sydney but you ended up staying for three months. we drunk a lot of absinthe under the stars and our boundaries dissolved. they were great nights. you rearranged my whole home, it looked fantastic you were falling in love with me but them you saw my shadows, you warned me not to mess with the cosmos but it was far to late, you did have some perception, you made a good scarlet woman, you met my other girlfriend and like all poly relationships i have had, you both decided eventually that i was some kind of pawn to be played. but neither of you knew i was broken then, already defeated, i was not even on the road to healing, the last thing i could think about was anything serious.
at least you were honest, you said i was selfish and i said i needed as much love as i could get. we remained friends until you tried to sleep with my other girlfriend, a girl i hadn't even slept with. yeah she was beautiful and i don't blame you but all that sneaking around was unnecessary.
you went back to your playboy mansion, i moved onwards.
it was never love but it was something, maybe just need. i had a need then and nothing could fill it.
nicole 1
we met under strange circumstances,actually they were perfect circumstances, the church playing down at the sands hotel, actually it was steve and marty, acoustic. i went alone but towards the end of the gig you grabbed me, pulled me out of there and to the beach where i drew a magick circle and we invoked pan.
i asked you why you grabbed me and you said, i was the most interesting person there. ha i laughed, we were probably the only europeans there.
later you asked if i would come to fraiser island with you, we were quite the couple. i remember driving over the dunes and along that beach, endless sand rolling out, hypnotic visions, we listened to a song called fable and one called children, but i can't recall who sang it. we camped out in the bush, and in the morning we drove over the dirt trail, four wheel driving through a track that was treacherous and wild, there were moments where you grabbed my arm as i navigated the terrain. but then towards the last stretch the vehicle rolled into a massive chasm and the fender dented on a rock, you started freaking out.
we stopped in a town beginning with b, an old mining town, the rooms we rented were nice but the hotelier was a bit freaky, a serial killer or animal torturer.
we headed back to sydney and our lives.
a few years later i met you in london, you were married to a gay guy and we explored our past, i had dinner with you and gave you my history, we became better friends.
years later you went to new zealand where you made a home with your son, jakob. we speak on the phone occasionally but i found myself unable to recognise the man you once knew. i don't think we came close to love niccole but it was a good memory and a nice time. i think i was someone else then and i can't ever be that person again but when ever i think about the church i think off that night. i think they would have liked us playing on the beach invoking spirits. i wrote a story about it once, i'll see if i can find it.
we met under strange circumstances,actually they were perfect circumstances, the church playing down at the sands hotel, actually it was steve and marty, acoustic. i went alone but towards the end of the gig you grabbed me, pulled me out of there and to the beach where i drew a magick circle and we invoked pan.
i asked you why you grabbed me and you said, i was the most interesting person there. ha i laughed, we were probably the only europeans there.
later you asked if i would come to fraiser island with you, we were quite the couple. i remember driving over the dunes and along that beach, endless sand rolling out, hypnotic visions, we listened to a song called fable and one called children, but i can't recall who sang it. we camped out in the bush, and in the morning we drove over the dirt trail, four wheel driving through a track that was treacherous and wild, there were moments where you grabbed my arm as i navigated the terrain. but then towards the last stretch the vehicle rolled into a massive chasm and the fender dented on a rock, you started freaking out.
we stopped in a town beginning with b, an old mining town, the rooms we rented were nice but the hotelier was a bit freaky, a serial killer or animal torturer.
we headed back to sydney and our lives.
a few years later i met you in london, you were married to a gay guy and we explored our past, i had dinner with you and gave you my history, we became better friends.
years later you went to new zealand where you made a home with your son, jakob. we speak on the phone occasionally but i found myself unable to recognise the man you once knew. i don't think we came close to love niccole but it was a good memory and a nice time. i think i was someone else then and i can't ever be that person again but when ever i think about the church i think off that night. i think they would have liked us playing on the beach invoking spirits. i wrote a story about it once, i'll see if i can find it.
chop wood carry water, big earthquake some where nice, rain where my friend the professor climbs the peak k2, he's getting married in japan and i'm going to give a speech, oh what can i say, the professor is a singularity, he's my friend. he has green hair and a punk attitude. we ran a quantum sex course together, it was so extreme we smashed every one into atoms, we demanded more from them than they were prepared for. we gave them the keys to freedom and they locked themselves in. i miss those days but i know your out there professor doing your work, reproducing dna with exceptional partners, you were always looking for immortality and now you found it.
me i didn't seek immortality i sought an exit from this nonsense but instead i found an entrance into something else. you were the only person i knew who wanted to explore the ayahuscia world, we took our dmt journeys and discovered the world of information together but i ended up meeting the intelligence.
we are off the same stuff my friend, it will be am honour to speak at your wedding.
me i didn't seek immortality i sought an exit from this nonsense but instead i found an entrance into something else. you were the only person i knew who wanted to explore the ayahuscia world, we took our dmt journeys and discovered the world of information together but i ended up meeting the intelligence.
we are off the same stuff my friend, it will be am honour to speak at your wedding.
the death wish is a magickal, spiritual, emotional, phycological if you like, call to arms. when one is in a relationship with the death wish you need to take a step back and ask two questions, are you seeking it or is it seeking you.
the subtle difference is that if you seek a death wish you are at risk of finding one for nihilistic reasons. if it finds you then there's a different way to perceive the experience.
firstly let's examine the difference, if one seeks death through high risk activities then it is fairly obvious that you are looking for an adrenaline shot, enjoy edge play, very unhappy.
if death seeks you as it has me we have a different set of rules at work. firstly you must keep a record of the death wishes visits, i have had about 20 over the last 46 years. my map of them indicates a pattern and process, and my experiences with the plant medicines and magick have revealed that death is my friend come to teach me and a simple process when experiencing it.
fortunately i found my many deaths beautiful despite the initial terror i was able to work through the process fast and clearly with good intent.
once i acknowledged the intelligence behind the process it was simple to surrender and submit to it, something which only when you are drowning or being strangled can you really do effectively. once that occurs everything in reality shifts, if death claims you then you die, if your opponent sees you do not fear death they will release you, often transferring the energy upon themselves which will result in them breaking down weeping. this has happened to me several times when i have been in conflict with people who have attempted to kill me.
the death wish remains a present intelligence within ones life, it does not go away but becomes an ally. eventually the death wish recognises that your life has changed considerably to the point where the death impulse is dissipated and reduced to a healthy relationship. the process involves humility, acceptance and that ever wonderful ego death, which is what death is all about.
the subtle difference is that if you seek a death wish you are at risk of finding one for nihilistic reasons. if it finds you then there's a different way to perceive the experience.
firstly let's examine the difference, if one seeks death through high risk activities then it is fairly obvious that you are looking for an adrenaline shot, enjoy edge play, very unhappy.
if death seeks you as it has me we have a different set of rules at work. firstly you must keep a record of the death wishes visits, i have had about 20 over the last 46 years. my map of them indicates a pattern and process, and my experiences with the plant medicines and magick have revealed that death is my friend come to teach me and a simple process when experiencing it.
fortunately i found my many deaths beautiful despite the initial terror i was able to work through the process fast and clearly with good intent.
once i acknowledged the intelligence behind the process it was simple to surrender and submit to it, something which only when you are drowning or being strangled can you really do effectively. once that occurs everything in reality shifts, if death claims you then you die, if your opponent sees you do not fear death they will release you, often transferring the energy upon themselves which will result in them breaking down weeping. this has happened to me several times when i have been in conflict with people who have attempted to kill me.
the death wish remains a present intelligence within ones life, it does not go away but becomes an ally. eventually the death wish recognises that your life has changed considerably to the point where the death impulse is dissipated and reduced to a healthy relationship. the process involves humility, acceptance and that ever wonderful ego death, which is what death is all about.
the difference between the way men and women think is vast, but the basic fundamental glitch is the way women process information. the most classic example is when a woman asks the man for a divorce. the man is shocked, stunned and destroyed whereas the woman has had several months thinking about this, processing it and planning. the man can barely whisper, 'but i thought we were doing well.'
this difference will remain no matter what occurs within the movements to equalise the sex's. women will always have this advantage and when they need to they will use it often unconsciously without giving the male any clear indication of intent until it is to late.
somewhere down the evolutionary scale this was a survival instinct women have always used but i imagine it was not until they were empowered that they were able to use it. however the fundamental problem is one of consciousness. to embrace a conscious life style the communication lines must be open and clear. the individuals must understand the brain differences and therefore thinking differences involved and make allowances for this.
despite the uneven playing field men need to acknowledge they have to be responsible for themselves, there is no point relying or depending on anything else because it is faith in another person with a different operating system. the only thing men can do is be gracious and not fear being alone.
living alone is a challenging thought and not everyone can do it, that's why i think to pursue the magickal path requires a certain amount of isolation. one needs to distance themselves from the society and contemplate their inner space.
in fact all spiritual practise is about finding out who you are, then destroying that person and being reborn.
however this takes most people several lifetimes and incarnations, most never find out who they are and just keep travelling the road to sorrow.
this difference will remain no matter what occurs within the movements to equalise the sex's. women will always have this advantage and when they need to they will use it often unconsciously without giving the male any clear indication of intent until it is to late.
somewhere down the evolutionary scale this was a survival instinct women have always used but i imagine it was not until they were empowered that they were able to use it. however the fundamental problem is one of consciousness. to embrace a conscious life style the communication lines must be open and clear. the individuals must understand the brain differences and therefore thinking differences involved and make allowances for this.
despite the uneven playing field men need to acknowledge they have to be responsible for themselves, there is no point relying or depending on anything else because it is faith in another person with a different operating system. the only thing men can do is be gracious and not fear being alone.
living alone is a challenging thought and not everyone can do it, that's why i think to pursue the magickal path requires a certain amount of isolation. one needs to distance themselves from the society and contemplate their inner space.
in fact all spiritual practise is about finding out who you are, then destroying that person and being reborn.
however this takes most people several lifetimes and incarnations, most never find out who they are and just keep travelling the road to sorrow.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Liber B
vel Magi
00. One is the Magus; twain His forces; four His weapons. These are the Seven Spirits of Unrighteousness; seven vultures of evil. Thus is the art and craft of the Magus but glamour. How shall He destroy Himself?
0. Yet the Magus hath power upon the sustainer both directly and through Love. And the Magus is Love, and bindeth together That and This in his conjuration.
1. In the beginning doth the Magus speak Truth, and send forth Illusion and Falsehood to enslave the soul. Yet therein is the Mystery of Redemption.
2. By His Wisdom made He the Worlds; the Word that is God is none other than He.
3. How then shall He end His speech with Silence? For He is Speech.
4. He is the first and the last. How shall He cease to number Himself?
5. By a Magus is this writing made known through the mind of a Magister. The one uttereth clearly, and the other understandeth; yet the Word is falsehood, and the Understanding darkness. And this saying is Of All Truth.
6. Nevertheless it is written; for there be times of darkness, and this as a lamp therein.
7. With the Wand createth He.
8. With the Cup preserveth He.
9. With the Dagger destroyeth He.
10. With the Coin redeemeth He.
11. His weapons fulfil the wheel; and on What Axle that turneth is not known unto Him.
12. From all these actions must He cease before the curse of His Grade is uplifted from Him. Before He attain to That which existeth without Form.
13. And if at this time He be manifested upon earth as a Man, and therefore is this present writing, let this be His method, that the curse of His grade, and the burden of His attainment, be uplifted from Him.
14. Let Him beware of abstinence from action. For the curse of His grade is that He must speak Truth, that the Falsehood thereof may enslave the souls of men. Let him then utter that without Fear, that the Law may be fulfilled. And according to His Original Nature will that law be shapen, so that one may declare gentleness and quietness, being an jew; and another fierceness and servility, being a arab; and yet another ardour and manliness, being an hindu. Yet this matter toucheth the mystery of Incarnation, and is not here to be declared.
15. Now the grade of a Magister teacheth the Mystery of Sorrow, and the grade of a Magus the Mystery of Change, and the grade of Ipsissimus the Mystery of Selflessness, which is called also the Mystery of Pan.
16. Let the Magus then contemplate each in turn, raising it to the ultimate power of Infinity. Wherein Sorrow is Joy, and Change is Stability, and Selflessness is Self. For the interplay of the parts hath no action upon the whole. And this contemplation shall be performed not by simple meditation— how much less then by reason? but by the method which shall have been given unto Him in His Initiation to the Grade.
17. Following which method, it shall be easy for Him to combine that trinity from its elements, and further to combine Sat-Chit-Ananda, and Light, Love, Life, three by three into nine that are one, in which meditation success shall be That which was first adumbrated to Him in the grade of Practicus (which reflecteth Mercury into the lowest world) in Liber XXVII, “Here is Nothing under its three Forms.”
18. And this is the Opening of the Grade of Ipsissimus, and by the Buddhists it is called the trance Nerodha-Samapatti.
19. And woe, woe, woe, yea woe, and again woe, woe, woe unto seven times be His that preacheth not His law to men!
20. And woe also be unto Him that refuseth the curse of the grade of a Magus, and the burden of the Attainment thereof.
21. And in the word CHAOS let the Book be sealed; yea, let the Book be sealed.
this here is the AA's commentary on the magus as written by crowley for the thelma system. i don't understand all off it but i get the general idea.
00 the magus understands how to manipulate reality, he knows the duality is not real, his weapon is the wand, cup, sword and coin symbolically represented in the tarot. they are unrighteous as they are not the territory but the map. the glamour is not reality, yet on some levels the magus manipulates the glamour. the magus is responsible for his own death.
0 the magus and the universe are in a relationship, both are in love.
1. the magus speaks truth but the more he speaks of it the further away from truth it becomes. not everyone will be liberated, most chose enslavement. (think the matrix)
2. the magus knows that god made the world and there is process and purpose to it, he also is in communication with the creator.
3. i don't know what this means.
3. there is no sequence now, everything in magus time is non linear.
5. everything in reality is paradox, what we are alluding to is the metaphor that is reality.
6. the magus illuminates the dark by transmitting and recieving information, yet this is all a fiction as reality is not a duality in essence.
7. 8. 9. 10. all allude to the tools of a magickian. (read your symbolism)
11. the magus has a complete syetem to engage reality with but he does not know what shape the reality will take or what awaits him / her in the process of engagement.
12. the magus must know when to retreat and cease lest he attract obliteration. he is cursed to speak the truth. this may also mean that the magus has to leave this life to attain a further level of enlightenment, i'm unsure.
13. once reborn he will not need to speak the truth until he continues his great work.
14. the magus must speak truth and act, he cannot ignore this power but it is discretionary. depending his incarnation he will shape the truth and deliver it. i personally don't think this is true at all, it's a spill over from crowleys racist attitude, being english and all.
15. the grade of magus teaches the mystery of change. (self explanatory)
16. the magus must contemplate sorrow, change and selflessness to an extreme until their polarity manifests. joy stability and self.
17. ultimately the energies of light love and life will reveal themselves.
18. the next grade, ipsissimus begins.
19. the magus must express his work to the world.
20. the magus must speak his her truth.
21. the truth cannot be shunned lest the magus is cursed.
21. the book is sealed.
so my path has been mapped by those that came before, i am a single entity on this road, i scorn all societies, skools and teachers, i require nothing and expect obliteration, i have lived many lives and died many deaths, i am here where i have attained a space time point of magus. let what will be, be. the book is sealed.
vel Magi
00. One is the Magus; twain His forces; four His weapons. These are the Seven Spirits of Unrighteousness; seven vultures of evil. Thus is the art and craft of the Magus but glamour. How shall He destroy Himself?
0. Yet the Magus hath power upon the sustainer both directly and through Love. And the Magus is Love, and bindeth together That and This in his conjuration.
1. In the beginning doth the Magus speak Truth, and send forth Illusion and Falsehood to enslave the soul. Yet therein is the Mystery of Redemption.
2. By His Wisdom made He the Worlds; the Word that is God is none other than He.
3. How then shall He end His speech with Silence? For He is Speech.
4. He is the first and the last. How shall He cease to number Himself?
5. By a Magus is this writing made known through the mind of a Magister. The one uttereth clearly, and the other understandeth; yet the Word is falsehood, and the Understanding darkness. And this saying is Of All Truth.
6. Nevertheless it is written; for there be times of darkness, and this as a lamp therein.
7. With the Wand createth He.
8. With the Cup preserveth He.
9. With the Dagger destroyeth He.
10. With the Coin redeemeth He.
11. His weapons fulfil the wheel; and on What Axle that turneth is not known unto Him.
12. From all these actions must He cease before the curse of His Grade is uplifted from Him. Before He attain to That which existeth without Form.
13. And if at this time He be manifested upon earth as a Man, and therefore is this present writing, let this be His method, that the curse of His grade, and the burden of His attainment, be uplifted from Him.
14. Let Him beware of abstinence from action. For the curse of His grade is that He must speak Truth, that the Falsehood thereof may enslave the souls of men. Let him then utter that without Fear, that the Law may be fulfilled. And according to His Original Nature will that law be shapen, so that one may declare gentleness and quietness, being an jew; and another fierceness and servility, being a arab; and yet another ardour and manliness, being an hindu. Yet this matter toucheth the mystery of Incarnation, and is not here to be declared.
15. Now the grade of a Magister teacheth the Mystery of Sorrow, and the grade of a Magus the Mystery of Change, and the grade of Ipsissimus the Mystery of Selflessness, which is called also the Mystery of Pan.
16. Let the Magus then contemplate each in turn, raising it to the ultimate power of Infinity. Wherein Sorrow is Joy, and Change is Stability, and Selflessness is Self. For the interplay of the parts hath no action upon the whole. And this contemplation shall be performed not by simple meditation— how much less then by reason? but by the method which shall have been given unto Him in His Initiation to the Grade.
17. Following which method, it shall be easy for Him to combine that trinity from its elements, and further to combine Sat-Chit-Ananda, and Light, Love, Life, three by three into nine that are one, in which meditation success shall be That which was first adumbrated to Him in the grade of Practicus (which reflecteth Mercury into the lowest world) in Liber XXVII, “Here is Nothing under its three Forms.”
18. And this is the Opening of the Grade of Ipsissimus, and by the Buddhists it is called the trance Nerodha-Samapatti.
19. And woe, woe, woe, yea woe, and again woe, woe, woe unto seven times be His that preacheth not His law to men!
20. And woe also be unto Him that refuseth the curse of the grade of a Magus, and the burden of the Attainment thereof.
21. And in the word CHAOS let the Book be sealed; yea, let the Book be sealed.
this here is the AA's commentary on the magus as written by crowley for the thelma system. i don't understand all off it but i get the general idea.
00 the magus understands how to manipulate reality, he knows the duality is not real, his weapon is the wand, cup, sword and coin symbolically represented in the tarot. they are unrighteous as they are not the territory but the map. the glamour is not reality, yet on some levels the magus manipulates the glamour. the magus is responsible for his own death.
0 the magus and the universe are in a relationship, both are in love.
1. the magus speaks truth but the more he speaks of it the further away from truth it becomes. not everyone will be liberated, most chose enslavement. (think the matrix)
2. the magus knows that god made the world and there is process and purpose to it, he also is in communication with the creator.
3. i don't know what this means.
3. there is no sequence now, everything in magus time is non linear.
5. everything in reality is paradox, what we are alluding to is the metaphor that is reality.
6. the magus illuminates the dark by transmitting and recieving information, yet this is all a fiction as reality is not a duality in essence.
7. 8. 9. 10. all allude to the tools of a magickian. (read your symbolism)
11. the magus has a complete syetem to engage reality with but he does not know what shape the reality will take or what awaits him / her in the process of engagement.
12. the magus must know when to retreat and cease lest he attract obliteration. he is cursed to speak the truth. this may also mean that the magus has to leave this life to attain a further level of enlightenment, i'm unsure.
13. once reborn he will not need to speak the truth until he continues his great work.
14. the magus must speak truth and act, he cannot ignore this power but it is discretionary. depending his incarnation he will shape the truth and deliver it. i personally don't think this is true at all, it's a spill over from crowleys racist attitude, being english and all.
15. the grade of magus teaches the mystery of change. (self explanatory)
16. the magus must contemplate sorrow, change and selflessness to an extreme until their polarity manifests. joy stability and self.
17. ultimately the energies of light love and life will reveal themselves.
18. the next grade, ipsissimus begins.
19. the magus must express his work to the world.
20. the magus must speak his her truth.
21. the truth cannot be shunned lest the magus is cursed.
21. the book is sealed.
so my path has been mapped by those that came before, i am a single entity on this road, i scorn all societies, skools and teachers, i require nothing and expect obliteration, i have lived many lives and died many deaths, i am here where i have attained a space time point of magus. let what will be, be. the book is sealed.
for the last few months i have been unable to read, even a newspaper. i have a few books i want to start but i can't seem to start. this has happened once before and it lasted 6 months.
however i have recognised the problem as being i can read but only books on magick at the moment, my nature is shifting into new gears, and i am following my brains impulse to discretionary intellect. there is no patience for anything that operates within the constructed universe of consensus reality. i have to think outside my head, beyond the boundaries and safe areas, this is an important period and i have to honour it.
currently i am taking on pete carrolls 'apophenion' which is a mighty challenge but infinitely rewarding. the ideas he supports are entirely revolutionary and shatter many assumptions birthed from cultural constructs. the whole paradigm exploded and what's left in the wake is a new perception.
all the things we cling to.
they are not real.
all the things we think we need.
we don't
do what thou wilt is part of the law.
but one needs to know what thou is?
who thou is?
and once you know that there is no law
only purpose.
what's your purpose?
however i have recognised the problem as being i can read but only books on magick at the moment, my nature is shifting into new gears, and i am following my brains impulse to discretionary intellect. there is no patience for anything that operates within the constructed universe of consensus reality. i have to think outside my head, beyond the boundaries and safe areas, this is an important period and i have to honour it.
currently i am taking on pete carrolls 'apophenion' which is a mighty challenge but infinitely rewarding. the ideas he supports are entirely revolutionary and shatter many assumptions birthed from cultural constructs. the whole paradigm exploded and what's left in the wake is a new perception.
all the things we cling to.
they are not real.
all the things we think we need.
we don't
do what thou wilt is part of the law.
but one needs to know what thou is?
who thou is?
and once you know that there is no law
only purpose.
what's your purpose?
okay we have been talking about the selves, is it not fascinating when we uncover an individual who has two incompatible identities. schizophrenia means 'divided mind.'
an old joke says, 'when a man talks to god its called prayer, but when god talks to man it's schizophrenia.'
in psychiatric terms schizophrenia covers a poorly defined group. many hear voices without suffering any dysfunctional effects, some treat these voices as inspiration or develop spiritual ideas about them, some become occultists.
demonic possession occurs in most monotheistic cultures but is always described as schizophrenia yet in some ecstatic cults it is a desirable state to achieve.
the unconscious, sub conscious mind arose in a moral society, these are rather artificial subdivisions. some impulses memories and emotions merely acquire more power to take control of the organism than others, mostly operate without direct communication with the others or what is called ego.
therefore any descriptive model that the mind uses to map itself is confirmed by the mind itself, if we use the freudian map the mind agrees, if we use leary's 8 circuit map then it agrees. no part of it can comprehend the whole.
we function within the whole spectrum from the mono self to the multi self. in practise neither is optimal because barriers are erected between themselves and others, communication breaks down.
monotheistic mystics exalt one imagined god self within by repressing all their own un natural ungodliness. they can never succeed in this as the impulse for good works is often subverted by appalling behaviours.
the devil is legion, the legion being repressed selves.
peter carrol suggests that magickians approach multi self management with stochastic techniques. if one self doesn't work try another, if necessary at random.
most people seem very protective about their name, they don't like it when people call them the wrong name, or get them muddled up with some one else, generally i have many identities i use for many situations, all serve me well and accord new dimensions in thinking about identity and what makes us who we are. i don't cling to the identity, just drop it when i no longer need to wear it. often people impose their identity upon me, which i just take as something to work with, i will be a footballer, bouncer, maori, fighter, base player, whatever they suggest if i need to in the given situation.
apparently everything perceived in our universe has a name, if someone sees something without a name there's an overwhelming compulsion to give it one. yet the many selves are un named. half the universe consists of areas that have no names, mere phycological tags suffice.
despite this we look into atoms and stars, our phycology is primitive. we don't know more than the ancient greeks, the destruction of all medical phycological books would have little impact.
naming the selves of the personal mythos would be a good starting point for insanity, destruction of the ego and self image. who names them?
in absence of an inner core or self, the selves name each other as they welcome themselves to a building they all own.
democracy works here. it's a good system from a bad bunch. critically it depends on power blocks negotiating with other power blocks to try anything that does not conflict with their agenda. it does not work in divided society, it depends on negotiation with various interest groups.
a sane society tries to achieve a compromise between the impulses.
an old joke says, 'when a man talks to god its called prayer, but when god talks to man it's schizophrenia.'
in psychiatric terms schizophrenia covers a poorly defined group. many hear voices without suffering any dysfunctional effects, some treat these voices as inspiration or develop spiritual ideas about them, some become occultists.
demonic possession occurs in most monotheistic cultures but is always described as schizophrenia yet in some ecstatic cults it is a desirable state to achieve.
the unconscious, sub conscious mind arose in a moral society, these are rather artificial subdivisions. some impulses memories and emotions merely acquire more power to take control of the organism than others, mostly operate without direct communication with the others or what is called ego.
therefore any descriptive model that the mind uses to map itself is confirmed by the mind itself, if we use the freudian map the mind agrees, if we use leary's 8 circuit map then it agrees. no part of it can comprehend the whole.
we function within the whole spectrum from the mono self to the multi self. in practise neither is optimal because barriers are erected between themselves and others, communication breaks down.
monotheistic mystics exalt one imagined god self within by repressing all their own un natural ungodliness. they can never succeed in this as the impulse for good works is often subverted by appalling behaviours.
the devil is legion, the legion being repressed selves.
peter carrol suggests that magickians approach multi self management with stochastic techniques. if one self doesn't work try another, if necessary at random.
most people seem very protective about their name, they don't like it when people call them the wrong name, or get them muddled up with some one else, generally i have many identities i use for many situations, all serve me well and accord new dimensions in thinking about identity and what makes us who we are. i don't cling to the identity, just drop it when i no longer need to wear it. often people impose their identity upon me, which i just take as something to work with, i will be a footballer, bouncer, maori, fighter, base player, whatever they suggest if i need to in the given situation.
apparently everything perceived in our universe has a name, if someone sees something without a name there's an overwhelming compulsion to give it one. yet the many selves are un named. half the universe consists of areas that have no names, mere phycological tags suffice.
despite this we look into atoms and stars, our phycology is primitive. we don't know more than the ancient greeks, the destruction of all medical phycological books would have little impact.
naming the selves of the personal mythos would be a good starting point for insanity, destruction of the ego and self image. who names them?
in absence of an inner core or self, the selves name each other as they welcome themselves to a building they all own.
democracy works here. it's a good system from a bad bunch. critically it depends on power blocks negotiating with other power blocks to try anything that does not conflict with their agenda. it does not work in divided society, it depends on negotiation with various interest groups.
a sane society tries to achieve a compromise between the impulses.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
i'm driving up a highway i have driven up and down many times, i am listening to my future, my body is moving one way, my mind another, i'm almost with you, i'm almost there but i'm uncertain, there are forces within you that i cannot confront yet there is a copmpulsion now to speak my truth, to be real with you, to address the chasm that has engulfed you and the turn the fall out into something good. but your a butterfly, leaping from one flowering idea to another, one seemingless innocent idea to another, i wonder what happens to all those ideas that get left behind, i have a deep soul and somewhere inside it knows for it was left behind a long time ago. i filled my heart with smoke but now it is clear and sees, thinks, feels and i trust it more than anything else.
we walk into a shop with a nice lounge, the assistant steals my line, and my role, mmm, i'm somewhat disappointed by that but it's okay, i'm no longer attached to those things, we move towards somewhere else, a stranmge place filled with strange people, suburban nightmare, zombie middle classes and husbands and wives that live in some weird place i can't enter. you're showing me homes near water, nice ones and this is where i start to feel the future, it's perfect but we have done this before, made plans, attempted something, you were younger, but i lived with you, and something went horrifically wrong. i can't know what that is, it's lost to me, but i know it's there, and then you spoke about wanting to drink again and i felt that long lost memory stir, and for the first time in 10 years i started to feel unsafe with you again.
then you mentioned how much you hate clutter and it's true i have a lot of books, music gear and stuff, yes i admit mission control is cluttered beyond hope but my interior landscape is not, i'm clear and almost translucently uncluttered. whereas you are quite cluttered on your insides. so i'm calculating the probabilities that we cancel each other out on that score.
we walk into a shop with a nice lounge, the assistant steals my line, and my role, mmm, i'm somewhat disappointed by that but it's okay, i'm no longer attached to those things, we move towards somewhere else, a stranmge place filled with strange people, suburban nightmare, zombie middle classes and husbands and wives that live in some weird place i can't enter. you're showing me homes near water, nice ones and this is where i start to feel the future, it's perfect but we have done this before, made plans, attempted something, you were younger, but i lived with you, and something went horrifically wrong. i can't know what that is, it's lost to me, but i know it's there, and then you spoke about wanting to drink again and i felt that long lost memory stir, and for the first time in 10 years i started to feel unsafe with you again.
then you mentioned how much you hate clutter and it's true i have a lot of books, music gear and stuff, yes i admit mission control is cluttered beyond hope but my interior landscape is not, i'm clear and almost translucently uncluttered. whereas you are quite cluttered on your insides. so i'm calculating the probabilities that we cancel each other out on that score.
the self is a social construct, it's created from other people, genetics, parenting, language, memes, ideas, behavioural patterns from teachers, peers and we add on bits and pieces from popular culture.
we develop a theory of mind, this usually takes the form of one mind per person, however if a mind behaves in a wildly differing and contradictory way it can lead to eccentric and dysfunctional ideas about self and others.
gradually we learn to apply a theory of mind to ourselves, recognising various intentions within, we also learn to deceive and lie.
we are under constant pressure to conform to consistent behaviour patterns. parents manipulate children in subtle ways to exhibit approved behaviour then express surprise when they bully their peers or exhibit any sort of difference.
we are very suggestible as a social species, we also present a constant self to the world, out of character behaviour attracts disapproval.
nothing instills belief more than acting out the behaviour that goes with it.
we don't do what we believe, we believe what we do, quite soon we internalise the idea of singular self because culture demands we have one.
this is aligned with monotheistic cultures. every theology demands a psychology, pagan cultures attempt to include a wide range of selves and behaviours, with gods and goddesses for just about everything allowing them to make love or war or what ever they wanted.
they acted with less of a sense of internal conflict than we do today. so as playthings of the gods the pagans allowed themselves more outbursts of impulsion's than we do. it seems that the greek and roman thinkers paid only lip service to their official religions while owing their ideas of the muse to the daemon, aand the genius as quasi - independent sources of personal inspiration.
monotheism split all behaviours, good and evil. it brings with it an increased sense of personal agency defined by the 'free will' to choose between what god and society wants and what you as an individual with impulses suggest. in monotheism you cannot always find a god that agrees with you so the daemons that inspired the pagans became the demons that culture now expects , thus creating a culture of self loathing and guilt.
secular law now controls democracy in the same way that religious law did. you can believe what you want as long as you don't express beliefs that are critical.astrologer, politician, priest, scientist, prostitute, school teacher, business person, drug addict, artist, police officer, model, lawyer, magickian, solider, erotic novelist. whilst many could have one of these jobs and another as a sideline or hobby it is unlikely that they will have two, the social conventions of consistancy discourage or prevent possible combinations, for no logical reasons.
we develop a theory of mind, this usually takes the form of one mind per person, however if a mind behaves in a wildly differing and contradictory way it can lead to eccentric and dysfunctional ideas about self and others.
gradually we learn to apply a theory of mind to ourselves, recognising various intentions within, we also learn to deceive and lie.
we are under constant pressure to conform to consistent behaviour patterns. parents manipulate children in subtle ways to exhibit approved behaviour then express surprise when they bully their peers or exhibit any sort of difference.
we are very suggestible as a social species, we also present a constant self to the world, out of character behaviour attracts disapproval.
nothing instills belief more than acting out the behaviour that goes with it.
we don't do what we believe, we believe what we do, quite soon we internalise the idea of singular self because culture demands we have one.
this is aligned with monotheistic cultures. every theology demands a psychology, pagan cultures attempt to include a wide range of selves and behaviours, with gods and goddesses for just about everything allowing them to make love or war or what ever they wanted.
they acted with less of a sense of internal conflict than we do today. so as playthings of the gods the pagans allowed themselves more outbursts of impulsion's than we do. it seems that the greek and roman thinkers paid only lip service to their official religions while owing their ideas of the muse to the daemon, aand the genius as quasi - independent sources of personal inspiration.
monotheism split all behaviours, good and evil. it brings with it an increased sense of personal agency defined by the 'free will' to choose between what god and society wants and what you as an individual with impulses suggest. in monotheism you cannot always find a god that agrees with you so the daemons that inspired the pagans became the demons that culture now expects , thus creating a culture of self loathing and guilt.
secular law now controls democracy in the same way that religious law did. you can believe what you want as long as you don't express beliefs that are critical.astrologer, politician, priest, scientist, prostitute, school teacher, business person, drug addict, artist, police officer, model, lawyer, magickian, solider, erotic novelist. whilst many could have one of these jobs and another as a sideline or hobby it is unlikely that they will have two, the social conventions of consistancy discourage or prevent possible combinations, for no logical reasons.
look what i've just found, the thing i have been writing about for years in this blog. i should just end my blog now. i hacked the universe.
Grand Unified Field Theory Nassim Haramein Pt.1
Uploaded by crazeattacks. - News videos from around the world.
Grand Unified Field Theory Nassim Haramein Pt.1
Uploaded by crazeattacks. - News videos from around the world.
i'm a stranger in a strange land, a wanderer in the mist, a wonderer in the dream. i just wonder my days away, things that range from wondering about the dna splicing from key animal genes, for example the gene that triggers the skin to adapt totally to the colours of the environment, say a couple of strands of that spliced into my own. wow, i'd love that, plus octopus stuff and maybe some radar and while i'm here i may require the spider ability to climb walls fast, and some gills man, give me gills, wings, a tail, and some fucking fur.
okay, things that range from that to this.
the problem with america is it lost it's way when it severed it's esoteric roots, that of the native indian, whose culture was a civilisation that was truly advanced. it is a good day to die is an amazing philosophy, it's about as real as philosophy could get, it's simple to remember and it's true if you apply it. although there are some pretty undignified deaths. i'm a romantic, i believe in fucking magick. magick is the application of the imagination, over will under love. old crowley almost got it but he needed to work on is green charkra.
okay, things that range from that to this.
the problem with america is it lost it's way when it severed it's esoteric roots, that of the native indian, whose culture was a civilisation that was truly advanced. it is a good day to die is an amazing philosophy, it's about as real as philosophy could get, it's simple to remember and it's true if you apply it. although there are some pretty undignified deaths. i'm a romantic, i believe in fucking magick. magick is the application of the imagination, over will under love. old crowley almost got it but he needed to work on is green charkra.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
birth is a brilliant film, one of my favourites but there's a scene in there that throws the story into a strange tangent where the viewer is conflicted. the boy denies he is the incarnation of the man he thinks he is.
it's a brilliantly constructed scene that would have meant confessing to an affair, but instead of hurting the woman he loves he denies his whole reality, thus the film spirals into a new narrative and the whole plot comes apart but remains a devastating ending. why the boy lies is never explained.
it's a mystery.
but is it.
the boy lies as he knows that the person he loves would be heartbroken, so he denies the whole premise. his whole existence is wiped out, his love is now a deception, he has made a sacrifice, the truth of an ex relationship remains perfect, a happy marriage, no affair. the lie, the whole reincarnation story. yet the smart viewer knows the reverse is true.
it's the fucking best film.
those who think kidman can't act should see her in this, a woman coming apart, the last scene is unbearable. i was smitten by it's tragedy and poetry, the crack up point where she just breaks was beautiful, she is in a terrible space, a place where reality shatters and everything she knows falls away, everything she thinks true is revealed to be a lie or is it, the paradox of her situation is the closest cinematic representation i have ever seen of a true break down of ego. it's quite outstanding, see it.
this of course is the first stage in any spiritual or magickal growth, the destruction of the ego. it can only be achieved under the right circumstances and hopefully there's a person around to guide or assist this transition, i did it alone but i have nursed a number of people through this process, it's extremely dangerous to do alone, and often the ego is re established as the controlling aspect in a new form.
the best way to loose it is to take large doses of hallucinogenics or suffer from unbearable trauma. not everyone makes it out the other side, but it's worthwhile attempting. the magickians called this the chapel perilious, the choates call it, chorozon.
the process starts there, construction of the ego and destruction of the ego,then involves the construction / destruction of the self, then the most important process undoing it.
it's a brilliantly constructed scene that would have meant confessing to an affair, but instead of hurting the woman he loves he denies his whole reality, thus the film spirals into a new narrative and the whole plot comes apart but remains a devastating ending. why the boy lies is never explained.
it's a mystery.
but is it.
the boy lies as he knows that the person he loves would be heartbroken, so he denies the whole premise. his whole existence is wiped out, his love is now a deception, he has made a sacrifice, the truth of an ex relationship remains perfect, a happy marriage, no affair. the lie, the whole reincarnation story. yet the smart viewer knows the reverse is true.
it's the fucking best film.
those who think kidman can't act should see her in this, a woman coming apart, the last scene is unbearable. i was smitten by it's tragedy and poetry, the crack up point where she just breaks was beautiful, she is in a terrible space, a place where reality shatters and everything she knows falls away, everything she thinks true is revealed to be a lie or is it, the paradox of her situation is the closest cinematic representation i have ever seen of a true break down of ego. it's quite outstanding, see it.
this of course is the first stage in any spiritual or magickal growth, the destruction of the ego. it can only be achieved under the right circumstances and hopefully there's a person around to guide or assist this transition, i did it alone but i have nursed a number of people through this process, it's extremely dangerous to do alone, and often the ego is re established as the controlling aspect in a new form.
the best way to loose it is to take large doses of hallucinogenics or suffer from unbearable trauma. not everyone makes it out the other side, but it's worthwhile attempting. the magickians called this the chapel perilious, the choates call it, chorozon.
the process starts there, construction of the ego and destruction of the ego,then involves the construction / destruction of the self, then the most important process undoing it.
there's something very satisfying about spending time with people who just get me, gravey gets me, there's no bullshit between us he just sees me with the eye of his heart, i'm grateful that there are a small amount of people in my life that get me. not many and the ones that get me are singularities themselves. all my friends are singularities. it's why i don't have many.
steve kilbey you and i don't even know one another yet but we know one another better than people that i have spent years along side with, i don't know how it works man. you watched me transcend human experience, you watched me hack the universe and as my mind, body and soul was torn apart and reintegrated you saw me reborn outside when i lost my mind and found myself, that's gotta count for something somewhere in space time, on some dimensional level we already met, you and i connected by nothing more than music reaching across into my heart when i was a kid and meaning something more than just a pop song. your songs are indeed spells my friend. potent and imaginative, maybe we just speak the same language.
evan your a singularity to, in fact you and i are the only ones that know the truth, 857, we have the ability to see through the space time line and speculate the outcome for humanity, it's fantastic that i have some one to share this with, it's amazing how in the face of it all we manage to keep a sense of imagination and humour. we know what's going to happen to you all. it's an alister reynolds ending for humanity.
bring on the inhibitors.
evan it was a good call last night, dinner in that excellent sushi place, dessert in the place it all started. wow those were strange times, but then they have always been strange times for me. you're amazing, i don't know what i would do without you around. it would be like being in an insane asylum i guess without my friends to keep me tethered in this strange zoo of society we inhabit.
i found an old slip of paper a girl once gave me, it said, 'captain mission, your survival depends on the strength received from the darkness.'
i don't even recall why she gave it to me, i think we had just gone through some big drama, at the time i dismissed it as the writings of a romantic goth girl, but now i see she got me.
yeah i think my happiness is enhanced when people get me, i can honestly say that it's a handful. but that's okay cos they love me and know me. what more is there in life's strange tapestry, there's war, death, drama and then there's love.
love is the deep fix people. it's what i make music for, what i write for, why i live. i go into dark places, sometimes i stay there a while but ultimately i find my strength, i'm resilient.
i have been listening to margo smith, she's very good people and another singularity i love, go discover her.
steve kilbey you and i don't even know one another yet but we know one another better than people that i have spent years along side with, i don't know how it works man. you watched me transcend human experience, you watched me hack the universe and as my mind, body and soul was torn apart and reintegrated you saw me reborn outside when i lost my mind and found myself, that's gotta count for something somewhere in space time, on some dimensional level we already met, you and i connected by nothing more than music reaching across into my heart when i was a kid and meaning something more than just a pop song. your songs are indeed spells my friend. potent and imaginative, maybe we just speak the same language.
evan your a singularity to, in fact you and i are the only ones that know the truth, 857, we have the ability to see through the space time line and speculate the outcome for humanity, it's fantastic that i have some one to share this with, it's amazing how in the face of it all we manage to keep a sense of imagination and humour. we know what's going to happen to you all. it's an alister reynolds ending for humanity.
bring on the inhibitors.
evan it was a good call last night, dinner in that excellent sushi place, dessert in the place it all started. wow those were strange times, but then they have always been strange times for me. you're amazing, i don't know what i would do without you around. it would be like being in an insane asylum i guess without my friends to keep me tethered in this strange zoo of society we inhabit.
i found an old slip of paper a girl once gave me, it said, 'captain mission, your survival depends on the strength received from the darkness.'
i don't even recall why she gave it to me, i think we had just gone through some big drama, at the time i dismissed it as the writings of a romantic goth girl, but now i see she got me.
yeah i think my happiness is enhanced when people get me, i can honestly say that it's a handful. but that's okay cos they love me and know me. what more is there in life's strange tapestry, there's war, death, drama and then there's love.
love is the deep fix people. it's what i make music for, what i write for, why i live. i go into dark places, sometimes i stay there a while but ultimately i find my strength, i'm resilient.
i have been listening to margo smith, she's very good people and another singularity i love, go discover her.
i do love my clusterfuck, what else can you do?
i'm challenged all the time, life is a veil of tears, it's not suffering it is suffering, buddha was misunderstood. the whole of existence is suffering due to the time flow and the fact the universe is a place of experiences that all cause eventual pain unless you reach an unconditional love space with the feminine principle that incorporates it. acts of love in the face of fear reunite the feminine with the masculine polarities. this is not just a duality that exist on a physical level in sexual terms, but more of a quality of energetic intelligence. most women are being slowly destroyed by the corrupting influence of the physical realm, hence the preoccupation with outer beauty, looks, glamour and status.
phycology and therapy cannot address this due to the nature of western morality and the structure of the sessions. in my experience the magikal framework can liberate and the plant medicines offer the same result. together they are amazing. total freedom, total ability to navigate the dimensions, manipulate time space, see what's real and what's not, it gives you the mind to play with as a free form space not one filled with maya, imagination is the tool we use to play and from there reality is constructed. it's a sexy sensual process because the feminine and masculine want nothing but union. yeah love makes the world spin around.
in all traditions that embrace sacred sex we have an incredible energetic process to play with potential. manipulate the sexual energy and influence reality with it. hack the cosmos, communicate in a new language, engage and enter the relationship with an open mind and heart, love and sex are powerful energies, you wanna change the world, you have to change yourself. you wanna change yourself, why not make love to the universe,
most women just want straight sex with no complications, it's an extension of stress relief, that's okay to but it's a limited area dimensionally speaking, one can transcend the usual vanilla experience and flirt or embrace the more sexual psychodrama of b and d or s and m, or one can enter into various fetish aspects, all these are cool in my book and should be explored but the fuel injection comes when sacred sex is embraced and the whole act of making love is just an honour to the union of the cosmos. all discharge belongs to the cosmos. it's a sacrament filled with intention and potentiality and the drunken fuck can never equate to match the overwhelming satisfying result from sex with some one you love for the universal principle.
consciousness spills into everything, so if we engage in frivolous sex the karmic imprint will be strongly imbued, if we have sex consciously the karmic result will be harmonious. all relationships need a space for honouring, gratitude and forgiveness. the idea is the couple make a private intention public in some ritualised way and agree to enter a relationship with the cosmos.
the cosmos is a great place to have a relationship because inherently the universe loves you.
richard dawkins and the skeptics who dismiss god are in fact just as narrow minded as the religions they mock. they are all fundamentally fixed in their constructs. the secret is to have no constructs while negotiating with the ones the consensus have created.
i'm challenged all the time, life is a veil of tears, it's not suffering it is suffering, buddha was misunderstood. the whole of existence is suffering due to the time flow and the fact the universe is a place of experiences that all cause eventual pain unless you reach an unconditional love space with the feminine principle that incorporates it. acts of love in the face of fear reunite the feminine with the masculine polarities. this is not just a duality that exist on a physical level in sexual terms, but more of a quality of energetic intelligence. most women are being slowly destroyed by the corrupting influence of the physical realm, hence the preoccupation with outer beauty, looks, glamour and status.
phycology and therapy cannot address this due to the nature of western morality and the structure of the sessions. in my experience the magikal framework can liberate and the plant medicines offer the same result. together they are amazing. total freedom, total ability to navigate the dimensions, manipulate time space, see what's real and what's not, it gives you the mind to play with as a free form space not one filled with maya, imagination is the tool we use to play and from there reality is constructed. it's a sexy sensual process because the feminine and masculine want nothing but union. yeah love makes the world spin around.
in all traditions that embrace sacred sex we have an incredible energetic process to play with potential. manipulate the sexual energy and influence reality with it. hack the cosmos, communicate in a new language, engage and enter the relationship with an open mind and heart, love and sex are powerful energies, you wanna change the world, you have to change yourself. you wanna change yourself, why not make love to the universe,
most women just want straight sex with no complications, it's an extension of stress relief, that's okay to but it's a limited area dimensionally speaking, one can transcend the usual vanilla experience and flirt or embrace the more sexual psychodrama of b and d or s and m, or one can enter into various fetish aspects, all these are cool in my book and should be explored but the fuel injection comes when sacred sex is embraced and the whole act of making love is just an honour to the union of the cosmos. all discharge belongs to the cosmos. it's a sacrament filled with intention and potentiality and the drunken fuck can never equate to match the overwhelming satisfying result from sex with some one you love for the universal principle.
consciousness spills into everything, so if we engage in frivolous sex the karmic imprint will be strongly imbued, if we have sex consciously the karmic result will be harmonious. all relationships need a space for honouring, gratitude and forgiveness. the idea is the couple make a private intention public in some ritualised way and agree to enter a relationship with the cosmos.
the cosmos is a great place to have a relationship because inherently the universe loves you.
richard dawkins and the skeptics who dismiss god are in fact just as narrow minded as the religions they mock. they are all fundamentally fixed in their constructs. the secret is to have no constructs while negotiating with the ones the consensus have created.
Friday, August 06, 2010
there's no point in lying about anything, just gotta write your stuff, say it, paint it, record it, sing it, say it, live it, be it, do it. everything else is inauthentic and deviance from it makes ya miserable. most things make me inauthentic, living in constructed reality seems to just wear you out, it's a ridiculous inadequate way to live a life, spending 4 hours on hold, 3 hours dealing with kula lumpa call centre's and the zombie's that work in them. there were some nice folks at the jetstar engineering dept who assisted me, but generally the experience was trying, with miss cupcake like a force of nature up against the hordes of mindless idiots in customer service, we quickly reached the conclusion that the customer service strategy jetstar use is bulling and the indiscriminate charging extras for relatively simple requests, ie changing name on ticket. this process took a considerable amount of energy from cupcake who is in no state to be getting stressed.
at one point it started to get very monty python as we were both on the phone, i found myself getting really angry with the whole process and i think i started to slip into some bizarre basil fawlty hybrid of sarcasm hysteria. i dunno, it was very frustrating. this is what i loathe, the whole fucking stupid system where everyone is unconsciously working for the evil empire. wake up suckers! time is now.
at one point it started to get very monty python as we were both on the phone, i found myself getting really angry with the whole process and i think i started to slip into some bizarre basil fawlty hybrid of sarcasm hysteria. i dunno, it was very frustrating. this is what i loathe, the whole fucking stupid system where everyone is unconsciously working for the evil empire. wake up suckers! time is now.
no blog tonight, a jet star nightmare has left me numb and shellshocked but you were good cupcake whirling all those numbers around in your head like that, wow. those suckers are imprisoned in their little boxes, you and i don't have to be.
i'm totally wiped out from a massive day, that ended with a freaky session with jules and hp smoking copious amounts of good weed, and i think the subject shifted from last weeks enemas to this weeks brazilians and reconstructive surgery. jules came up with an alice in wonderland idea and i told them about my travels at weekender playground with agent stone, agent atlantis and bergit. wow that was when agent stone got really drunk in the room on arrival and me and atlantis went down there on our own, across on the ferry into the hordes of freaks. what a great day, weekend. playground, is one of the best festivals i have been to, it's only accessible by ferry, and it had great music, food and stalls but what i loved was the freedom of it, it's nice to go nuts every now and then, somewhere beautiful and soft, the weather was wonderful and i think some brilliant bands were on the line up, it had something for everyone. but the strange thing was i was following something, a feeling that i get, the grls followed me as i led them through the masses, i didn't know why the pull was so strong but it was there, very present like a magnetic current, and it led us straight to agent stone, who was now recovered from her alcoholic narcolpsy and in full party mode. . agent stone is an old friend, we go back a long time now, i should write about her.
she is beautiful, she has been a really great friend to me and that's what i wanted. just friendship. she has a baby blob now he's nearly one and a half years old.
i had a falling out with agent stone a while back, after that festival a few years ago, i never saw her until she called me over in the car park and showed me her baby.there is no dad around, she don't like him.
but before all of that there was the time we first met. i was nuts about her and not in a good way. she kept a lot of animals, birds, one called psi and she looked like a fairy or at least belonged in that realm nurturing nature.
but one christmas psi got eaten by a cat, and i watched agent stone crying. wow it was really lovely. and i knew then i wanted to be her friend. we were peas in a pod. but then everyone started coupling up, and we remained friends while others split up. agent stone and i used to do a lot of stuff together, i learnt kung fu and she used to look forwards to my mid night visits where i'd turn up with some weed and smoke while she took those yellow pills that chill you out, we once had a dinner party and as everyone entered we gave them one, in a matter of moments everyone was asleep. we never had any dinner. imaging that 8 people turn up expecting a dinner, conversation and fall asleep cos we have drugged them. ha!
anyway it was a long time ago.
but agent stone is looking after her kid all alone now, in her small apartment, she does really well and she is still a good friend after all these years. we did some crazy things. i was like a poet back then, some strange hybrid beatnik explorer who finds himself wandering into the mysterious realm of the land of the fairies.
you live at the bottom of my garden agent stone and we will meet for tea.
anyway im going to sleep.
fucking jet star
i'm totally wiped out from a massive day, that ended with a freaky session with jules and hp smoking copious amounts of good weed, and i think the subject shifted from last weeks enemas to this weeks brazilians and reconstructive surgery. jules came up with an alice in wonderland idea and i told them about my travels at weekender playground with agent stone, agent atlantis and bergit. wow that was when agent stone got really drunk in the room on arrival and me and atlantis went down there on our own, across on the ferry into the hordes of freaks. what a great day, weekend. playground, is one of the best festivals i have been to, it's only accessible by ferry, and it had great music, food and stalls but what i loved was the freedom of it, it's nice to go nuts every now and then, somewhere beautiful and soft, the weather was wonderful and i think some brilliant bands were on the line up, it had something for everyone. but the strange thing was i was following something, a feeling that i get, the grls followed me as i led them through the masses, i didn't know why the pull was so strong but it was there, very present like a magnetic current, and it led us straight to agent stone, who was now recovered from her alcoholic narcolpsy and in full party mode. . agent stone is an old friend, we go back a long time now, i should write about her.
she is beautiful, she has been a really great friend to me and that's what i wanted. just friendship. she has a baby blob now he's nearly one and a half years old.
i had a falling out with agent stone a while back, after that festival a few years ago, i never saw her until she called me over in the car park and showed me her baby.there is no dad around, she don't like him.
but before all of that there was the time we first met. i was nuts about her and not in a good way. she kept a lot of animals, birds, one called psi and she looked like a fairy or at least belonged in that realm nurturing nature.
but one christmas psi got eaten by a cat, and i watched agent stone crying. wow it was really lovely. and i knew then i wanted to be her friend. we were peas in a pod. but then everyone started coupling up, and we remained friends while others split up. agent stone and i used to do a lot of stuff together, i learnt kung fu and she used to look forwards to my mid night visits where i'd turn up with some weed and smoke while she took those yellow pills that chill you out, we once had a dinner party and as everyone entered we gave them one, in a matter of moments everyone was asleep. we never had any dinner. imaging that 8 people turn up expecting a dinner, conversation and fall asleep cos we have drugged them. ha!
anyway it was a long time ago.
but agent stone is looking after her kid all alone now, in her small apartment, she does really well and she is still a good friend after all these years. we did some crazy things. i was like a poet back then, some strange hybrid beatnik explorer who finds himself wandering into the mysterious realm of the land of the fairies.
you live at the bottom of my garden agent stone and we will meet for tea.
anyway im going to sleep.
fucking jet star
Thursday, August 05, 2010
after fucking my way through the zodiac i enhanced my experiment by making love to the tarot, i’d find archetypical women to match the major arcarna. i was pursuing a relationship with the universe and the selfish sexual impulse had bended towards the more superior intention. the zodiac was limited to 12, i’d paced myself giving a month to each woman. the major arcarna is 22 which requires some logistical gymnastics as well as some complex emotional ones. eventually i decided to limit myself to 10 thus gaining a traditional reading, there are 10 cards in the keltic cross spread.
i wrestled with the idea of telling each woman what i was doing so they would have at least some idea but then thought i would not lest that deter them but as it happened i ended up telling some. in many ways i regret this and i should have been totally honest with them but considering the heat of passion, it would have been self sabotaging and reckless in most cases.
so i knew i would have to begin the year by being social, as a recluse i don’t meet many girls, but as soon as i step outside, trouble finds me. the interesting kind.
finding girls is never difficult, i’m selective though and can easily control my impulses. as i had decided not to follow the sequence but just have sex with whomever i wanted on a random basis, then determine their representation in the tarot. however some of the girls turned out to be minor cards, not many just a few so i didn’t include them in the result as it was only major cards i was interested in.
it was like a human reading.
i was the magickian in the pack.
the human cards read as follows:
1 the fool
2 the hermit
3 the lovers
4 the tower
5 the empress
6 the wheel
7 the hanged man
8 the tower
9 the universe
10 the world
plus
11. the sun
and fate had been kind to me and in the last situation i ended up with two cards simultaneously.
there were no issues the revelation was clear to me, i had hacked the universe and it has spelt out my fortune, it was a great reading and good experiment for any one who wishes to break the rules. however you may not get the reading you expect, so be prepared because hacking the universe requires a certain degree of skills that are in conflict with one another, for example, you have to be slightly foolish and yet super intelligent, you have to understand the paradoxical nature on an intuitive level but not hold any attachments to it.
and the strangest thing is you have to have a sense of humour lest your universe get the last laugh.
i wrestled with the idea of telling each woman what i was doing so they would have at least some idea but then thought i would not lest that deter them but as it happened i ended up telling some. in many ways i regret this and i should have been totally honest with them but considering the heat of passion, it would have been self sabotaging and reckless in most cases.
so i knew i would have to begin the year by being social, as a recluse i don’t meet many girls, but as soon as i step outside, trouble finds me. the interesting kind.
finding girls is never difficult, i’m selective though and can easily control my impulses. as i had decided not to follow the sequence but just have sex with whomever i wanted on a random basis, then determine their representation in the tarot. however some of the girls turned out to be minor cards, not many just a few so i didn’t include them in the result as it was only major cards i was interested in.
it was like a human reading.
i was the magickian in the pack.
the human cards read as follows:
1 the fool
2 the hermit
3 the lovers
4 the tower
5 the empress
6 the wheel
7 the hanged man
8 the tower
9 the universe
10 the world
plus
11. the sun
and fate had been kind to me and in the last situation i ended up with two cards simultaneously.
there were no issues the revelation was clear to me, i had hacked the universe and it has spelt out my fortune, it was a great reading and good experiment for any one who wishes to break the rules. however you may not get the reading you expect, so be prepared because hacking the universe requires a certain degree of skills that are in conflict with one another, for example, you have to be slightly foolish and yet super intelligent, you have to understand the paradoxical nature on an intuitive level but not hold any attachments to it.
and the strangest thing is you have to have a sense of humour lest your universe get the last laugh.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
i suppose i am an idiot savant who doesn't know what his savant is.
it's all feel at the moment and that's my heart charkra. i spent so long focusing in my solar plexus, maybe that's my 'savant' but i dunno, it's out there. but back to the heart, wow, it's incredible, something i knew existed but have never been this conscious about my immersion within it, really strange but profoundly liberating, i think i just discovered unconditional love. it's really good and i feel like i am evolving. unconditional love, fuck it's a veil of tears out there but everything from a cosmic perspective just is beautiful. i will stay in here for a while, until i have to work on the red charkra (something to look forwards to.)
in the meantime i listen to richard ashcroft, very good songwriter, sings about love a lot.
it's all feel at the moment and that's my heart charkra. i spent so long focusing in my solar plexus, maybe that's my 'savant' but i dunno, it's out there. but back to the heart, wow, it's incredible, something i knew existed but have never been this conscious about my immersion within it, really strange but profoundly liberating, i think i just discovered unconditional love. it's really good and i feel like i am evolving. unconditional love, fuck it's a veil of tears out there but everything from a cosmic perspective just is beautiful. i will stay in here for a while, until i have to work on the red charkra (something to look forwards to.)
in the meantime i listen to richard ashcroft, very good songwriter, sings about love a lot.
your humble hero did something truly heroic this morning, mmm, i'm reluctant to talk about it as it's not something for public but will write this:
i walked into the lions den and my paths could have split two ways, one could have resulted in death or at least a severe beating, i was encouraged strongly not to do what i did, but i had to, for it is a good day to die. it's a beautiful day to die.
anyway i spoke to the entities in the room, i spoke about protection, honour, vulnerability and the entities backed away, they recognise me, for once they were warriors, they saw something they are not familiar with, i didn't fear them.
i had a lovely day with a lovely lady. she really is a beautiful spirit and she gave me a wonderful gift, 'brutus' which i will guard fearlessly. i told her i loved her, we played around in her room, i heard her new music and we spoke about death.
later on my way home i stopped in at my friend lily, she was baby sitting a cute kid called zeke so we went to the local park. she and i are the same spirit, lonely figures walking our paths, we go back a long long time, i don't know why we never married one another, i guess we do love one another but not in that way, but she says she has someone she wants me to meet, a friend she calls an angel.
i've met many angels in my time, but this one does sound lovely.
i walked into the lions den and my paths could have split two ways, one could have resulted in death or at least a severe beating, i was encouraged strongly not to do what i did, but i had to, for it is a good day to die. it's a beautiful day to die.
anyway i spoke to the entities in the room, i spoke about protection, honour, vulnerability and the entities backed away, they recognise me, for once they were warriors, they saw something they are not familiar with, i didn't fear them.
i had a lovely day with a lovely lady. she really is a beautiful spirit and she gave me a wonderful gift, 'brutus' which i will guard fearlessly. i told her i loved her, we played around in her room, i heard her new music and we spoke about death.
later on my way home i stopped in at my friend lily, she was baby sitting a cute kid called zeke so we went to the local park. she and i are the same spirit, lonely figures walking our paths, we go back a long long time, i don't know why we never married one another, i guess we do love one another but not in that way, but she says she has someone she wants me to meet, a friend she calls an angel.
i've met many angels in my time, but this one does sound lovely.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
genie
you were my first girlfriend, first sexual experience. wow it seems like yesterday, i was dancing on a table, you were looking up at me as though i was some sort of weird mutant. you seemed so cute and bemused by me, i could se the sparkle in your eyes from that table as i flirted with ya.
later we met at a party and you grabbed me as i walked towards you, i was going to give you a hug and say in my stupid skoolboy english 'bonjour madame genie.' but you just grabbed me and dragged me up the staircase into a bedroom.
we stayed in bed for hours, it was magick genie, magick, i remember me using all my french words and stopping at calling you l'oiseau, i think that name stuck and as i write this it has triggered another memory with some one else, that's why it means something to me, i understand now. 'the bird.' 'those birds.'
i stayed with you all night and in the morning we dressed and i walked home, my body felt lighter and i felt as if i was floating. it was a special time, it stayed with me all my life as a beautiful moment. you were very beautiful and loving and had a cute french accent.
a year later i met you at a night club, you were dressed in bondage gear and looked like a hot punk stripper, no longer the sweet provincial country girl. i think we hung out for a while after that, my memory is vauge and unreliable at this point but wow genie you were something else.
i was far to young to know anything about love but i think i was looking for that moment for the rest of my days, i think that's what i was looking for, the softness of you.
for that i should thank you, i've heard girls talk about their first time and it always sounds awful, men never really talk about theirs other than in bragging and crass ways, but i have a vivid memory of mine being perfection.
you were my first girlfriend, first sexual experience. wow it seems like yesterday, i was dancing on a table, you were looking up at me as though i was some sort of weird mutant. you seemed so cute and bemused by me, i could se the sparkle in your eyes from that table as i flirted with ya.
later we met at a party and you grabbed me as i walked towards you, i was going to give you a hug and say in my stupid skoolboy english 'bonjour madame genie.' but you just grabbed me and dragged me up the staircase into a bedroom.
we stayed in bed for hours, it was magick genie, magick, i remember me using all my french words and stopping at calling you l'oiseau, i think that name stuck and as i write this it has triggered another memory with some one else, that's why it means something to me, i understand now. 'the bird.' 'those birds.'
i stayed with you all night and in the morning we dressed and i walked home, my body felt lighter and i felt as if i was floating. it was a special time, it stayed with me all my life as a beautiful moment. you were very beautiful and loving and had a cute french accent.
a year later i met you at a night club, you were dressed in bondage gear and looked like a hot punk stripper, no longer the sweet provincial country girl. i think we hung out for a while after that, my memory is vauge and unreliable at this point but wow genie you were something else.
i was far to young to know anything about love but i think i was looking for that moment for the rest of my days, i think that's what i was looking for, the softness of you.
for that i should thank you, i've heard girls talk about their first time and it always sounds awful, men never really talk about theirs other than in bragging and crass ways, but i have a vivid memory of mine being perfection.
young captain mission moves in mysterious ways, connecting up the dots from the past, the present and the future, he is looking slimmer, fitter, he has the energies flowing from his fingertips, he has the leaking aura and vibrating charkras, but he also has his new ego, improved and slightly more dynamic, than the former, he takes it for a spin drive.
'hey mission, your looking good,' some young lady yells in a cafe, 'you been working out?'
'ha, no just working it out, getting my i's spotted and t's ticked. why you look pretty ravishing yourself young waitress, what you got on your menu?'
giggles, 'oh mission, i heard you were a bit of a flirt. you have a very unusual look these days,'
'yes, i'm sporting a new ego.'
'it suits you.'
'i'm wearing it in.'
'it smells nice.'
'it's still fresh, slightly loose as i've lost a bit of weight, i can slip it off if you like.'
'mmm, let me help you with that...'
ah yes this new ego is remarkably useful, i may wear it for the summer, i'll be spending a lot of my time at the beach surfing and frolicking around with the brazilian yoga nature surfie girls.
'hey mission, your looking good,' some young lady yells in a cafe, 'you been working out?'
'ha, no just working it out, getting my i's spotted and t's ticked. why you look pretty ravishing yourself young waitress, what you got on your menu?'
giggles, 'oh mission, i heard you were a bit of a flirt. you have a very unusual look these days,'
'yes, i'm sporting a new ego.'
'it suits you.'
'i'm wearing it in.'
'it smells nice.'
'it's still fresh, slightly loose as i've lost a bit of weight, i can slip it off if you like.'
'mmm, let me help you with that...'
ah yes this new ego is remarkably useful, i may wear it for the summer, i'll be spending a lot of my time at the beach surfing and frolicking around with the brazilian yoga nature surfie girls.
im am a mess this morning, sleepless and filled with sadness as i struggle to come to terms with the illness and circumstances of the people around me, why can't i help, why am i so inadequate to do anything, i have to do something, these people are to fucking good, i need them around me, i need them close because then i'm not just a freak, out here on my own, these people are my tribe, my brothers and sisters, i love them with all my heart, and it's killing me to see you suffer. i can't do anything more than love you. i love you all. you know me. you been through it with me, you know what i am, what i represent, you know my soul, you know my spirit, you know my nature and you know my life and my deaths, because we are from the same fabric. i've let it all go but i have a vast ocean of passion that is limitless so now i'm fighting for you all, fucking fighting in my own quiet way, i fight and fight and fight and i will never stop. never until all you you are liberated from the suffering of existence. don't be fooled by the glamour, don't succumb to the penetration of men who will give you the poisonous apple in the shape of a champagne bottle or a line of coke, dumb drugs are for dumb people and you are not dumb. the death wish is for the chosen few, those who can understand the magnetism symbolically. those who can look death in the eye and make peace. those who have been reborn enough times to say, life is what i chose, love and life. and only then is it a good day to die.
Monday, August 02, 2010
the tranquillised life is curse of the modern woman, i see this in almost every relationship i have had for the last 10 years, the pharmaceutical and alcohol industries are destroying the goddess, with it's quick fix and one way street approach, it's designed a chemical substitute for living that is really an artificial death.
sure people need help through hard times, people need to let their hair down, people need to negotiate the challenges and overcome obstacles and sometimes they are so overwhelming that one has no choice but to use chemicals to correct the brain levels and chemistry to get to a point where they can make good sane decisions.
i do believe that people need to feel pain, emotional pain is part of life and facilitates growth, if one drinks or takes drugs to block feeling the pain, the pain will linger and manifest until it is recognised or the pattern creating pain will repeat itself in a new incarnation.
alcohol will take the edge off but when the chemicals in the brain are over run by the spirit of the chemicals in the substance it's a different story.
it ain't called spirit for nothing.
now we have something else entirely different.
nothing is based on a sense of reality anymore, the delusion that the self is making decisions makes decisions, and invariably they are the wrong ones for the spirit of these things are inherently evil. how can a chemically out of whack brain negotiate reality when a normal healthy brain finds reality difficult enough.
i hate the drug companies and alcohol people, i loath and despise them, i think if i had the opportunity to destroy them i would, the culture they have created disgusts me, there's no medicine in these drugs just evil intent and their victims are the innocent and vunerable.
i watched my ex girlfriend descend into madness through these things, i ended up with brain damage and she ended up having EST and sinking into the darkest space i have ever seen in anyone, it's an incredibly selfish act but i understand depression, i know how it works, i know why it exists but i cannot help see it as defeatist. yes i have been defeated as well but never let my depression become me for depression is the natural response to civilisation, how can one not get depressed, look at the pressure that's placed upon all of us, the stress of living, the incredible weight that we all carry just to survive. but this is the trap we set for ourselves, survival. survival in this civilization is based on maslows hierarchy of needs, the one that says we need food, shelter, warmth (see below)
the social conditions on women are not real, they are seething with complex double standards and image issues, magazines offer slim line beauty to aspire to but even these models have been photo shopped, perfect skin, fashion accessories, relationships, everything is all laid out yet the aspiration never actually brings happiness. society is brainwashed to think along certain lines, with certain morality, standards and judgements.
the things we aspire to gain will make us happy?
bullshit!
happiness is an internal point of space time, it can never be defined by external stimuli.
who made these codes, these artificial constructs?
men.which probably explains why so many of my friends are lesbians.
each domain influences the others, if a person needs alcohol or pills to survive then the other domains are out of whack, it is only by the process of self actualisation that one can beat these demons. but self actualization requires the self to be confronted and paradoxically the self is what most people are running from.
shadow dancing is what needs to happen, jungian or reichian theraphy would help.
it's time to look at missions, hierarchy of needs, which is somewhat different from maslow in the sense it applies to adults only. yeah it's R rated, so drawer the curtains and light a candle.
yes captain mission has a conceptual frame work that is an inverted maslows pyramid. all adults need to be self actualised before they consider the levels below.
if an individual is self actualized they know who they are, alcohol and phramecuticals are traps, it takes a strong will to challenge them and a scense of self.
i wish i could save my friends, i wish i could just save them but i can't. all i can do is love them and hope they see the value in that love. i don't know what else to do.
i'm defeated by fucking dumb drugs ravaging the most amazing people i know, causing havoc and tearing them apart, and me, it's making me very sad.
sure people need help through hard times, people need to let their hair down, people need to negotiate the challenges and overcome obstacles and sometimes they are so overwhelming that one has no choice but to use chemicals to correct the brain levels and chemistry to get to a point where they can make good sane decisions.
i do believe that people need to feel pain, emotional pain is part of life and facilitates growth, if one drinks or takes drugs to block feeling the pain, the pain will linger and manifest until it is recognised or the pattern creating pain will repeat itself in a new incarnation.
alcohol will take the edge off but when the chemicals in the brain are over run by the spirit of the chemicals in the substance it's a different story.
it ain't called spirit for nothing.
now we have something else entirely different.
nothing is based on a sense of reality anymore, the delusion that the self is making decisions makes decisions, and invariably they are the wrong ones for the spirit of these things are inherently evil. how can a chemically out of whack brain negotiate reality when a normal healthy brain finds reality difficult enough.
i hate the drug companies and alcohol people, i loath and despise them, i think if i had the opportunity to destroy them i would, the culture they have created disgusts me, there's no medicine in these drugs just evil intent and their victims are the innocent and vunerable.
i watched my ex girlfriend descend into madness through these things, i ended up with brain damage and she ended up having EST and sinking into the darkest space i have ever seen in anyone, it's an incredibly selfish act but i understand depression, i know how it works, i know why it exists but i cannot help see it as defeatist. yes i have been defeated as well but never let my depression become me for depression is the natural response to civilisation, how can one not get depressed, look at the pressure that's placed upon all of us, the stress of living, the incredible weight that we all carry just to survive. but this is the trap we set for ourselves, survival. survival in this civilization is based on maslows hierarchy of needs, the one that says we need food, shelter, warmth (see below)
the social conditions on women are not real, they are seething with complex double standards and image issues, magazines offer slim line beauty to aspire to but even these models have been photo shopped, perfect skin, fashion accessories, relationships, everything is all laid out yet the aspiration never actually brings happiness. society is brainwashed to think along certain lines, with certain morality, standards and judgements.
the things we aspire to gain will make us happy?
bullshit!
happiness is an internal point of space time, it can never be defined by external stimuli.
who made these codes, these artificial constructs?
men.which probably explains why so many of my friends are lesbians.
each domain influences the others, if a person needs alcohol or pills to survive then the other domains are out of whack, it is only by the process of self actualisation that one can beat these demons. but self actualization requires the self to be confronted and paradoxically the self is what most people are running from.
shadow dancing is what needs to happen, jungian or reichian theraphy would help.
it's time to look at missions, hierarchy of needs, which is somewhat different from maslow in the sense it applies to adults only. yeah it's R rated, so drawer the curtains and light a candle.
yes captain mission has a conceptual frame work that is an inverted maslows pyramid. all adults need to be self actualised before they consider the levels below.
if an individual is self actualized they know who they are, alcohol and phramecuticals are traps, it takes a strong will to challenge them and a scense of self.
i wish i could save my friends, i wish i could just save them but i can't. all i can do is love them and hope they see the value in that love. i don't know what else to do.
i'm defeated by fucking dumb drugs ravaging the most amazing people i know, causing havoc and tearing them apart, and me, it's making me very sad.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
wet morning blues, richard ashcrofts sweet voice falls through mission control, while i clean up and organise papers, books and the debris from the night before, where i incubated a message and in the early hours gave birth to it on my blank canvas. this process took a long time, many hours of nocturnal contemplation there were so many words and so much i wanted to say but each one was edited away until i came up with the conclusion, the sum of all the parts, the only thing i have to give you should you want it.
later when the sun came out i went walking with the dog, we passed by agent stone who was also outside her place with her cute blob boy kia who was looking happy playing in a huge puddle and covered in mud. he liked that pan and he were on the same level.
i gave agent stone some some herbal tea i had in my bag, we spoke for a while and then i went on my way with pan towards the dog park, it was glorious, the sun beating on my skin felt good, the ocean reflection in front of me, it couldn't get any better, then it did.
we were picked up in a big white van and went for lunch with miss cupcake. well i don't know, what more can a man ask for in life. i guess it depends on the man.
me i like these simple things but i know that cupcake love is never simple.
later we go to the movies, it's fantastic 'exit through the gift shop' by banksy is brilliant. i loved it despite the sympathetic symptoms, but i loved having our bagel best, in bad manors, glebe.
you looked like a beautiful cat woman wrapped in some furry cloak of feline power and i was able to somehow awkwardly negotiate through my 'cluster- fuck' issue which was ultimately about you and me.
we spoke about your text message to me, my reply, then the e mail i sent you and how i felt somehow that i had created all of this situation, (after all i am a magickian) and i shared with you my terrible regret and now this, the fall out, and i said our stars had crossed but we will embrace the future. you can do it, i can do it, everything will be cool no matter what happens. it's the happy ending, all you have to do is take it.
later when the sun came out i went walking with the dog, we passed by agent stone who was also outside her place with her cute blob boy kia who was looking happy playing in a huge puddle and covered in mud. he liked that pan and he were on the same level.
i gave agent stone some some herbal tea i had in my bag, we spoke for a while and then i went on my way with pan towards the dog park, it was glorious, the sun beating on my skin felt good, the ocean reflection in front of me, it couldn't get any better, then it did.
we were picked up in a big white van and went for lunch with miss cupcake. well i don't know, what more can a man ask for in life. i guess it depends on the man.
me i like these simple things but i know that cupcake love is never simple.
later we go to the movies, it's fantastic 'exit through the gift shop' by banksy is brilliant. i loved it despite the sympathetic symptoms, but i loved having our bagel best, in bad manors, glebe.
you looked like a beautiful cat woman wrapped in some furry cloak of feline power and i was able to somehow awkwardly negotiate through my 'cluster- fuck' issue which was ultimately about you and me.
we spoke about your text message to me, my reply, then the e mail i sent you and how i felt somehow that i had created all of this situation, (after all i am a magickian) and i shared with you my terrible regret and now this, the fall out, and i said our stars had crossed but we will embrace the future. you can do it, i can do it, everything will be cool no matter what happens. it's the happy ending, all you have to do is take it.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
there are ways to attain the consciousness i spoke of earlier, there are steps, there are many paths, but we still have to chop wood and carry water, chopping wood means the practical aspects of reality and carrying water is the emotional aspects,. tonight i reached a strange point in my emotional aspects. this is a significant point for me.
Friday, July 30, 2010
things that occur on a sub atomic quantum level, effectively influence things that occur in a sub atomic universe. the magickian is aware of these connections and relationships, as they occur within awareness internally, the subconscious makes the quantum entanglement but the rational brain has no mechanism to understand it. as the mystic or magickian enters the universal mind, and returns with visions. the sufi, buddhist,cabalistic, shamanistic, all come back with archetypes that are recognised the world over. the symbolic reality is as real as the material one. it's all information.
once you have access your switched on, higher consciousness comes from the universal mind, often called god. smart drugs / plant medicines are a fantastic way to access this but this can be done by natural means.
we are creating our own evolution in a quantum universe.
there are many quantum dimensions, the snake is a representation of this one, the kundalini, the dna, belief in healing serpent energy must be controlled, it is very powerful and can send people nuts. these mystical and spiritual capacities lay within each individual.
once you have access your switched on, higher consciousness comes from the universal mind, often called god. smart drugs / plant medicines are a fantastic way to access this but this can be done by natural means.
we are creating our own evolution in a quantum universe.
there are many quantum dimensions, the snake is a representation of this one, the kundalini, the dna, belief in healing serpent energy must be controlled, it is very powerful and can send people nuts. these mystical and spiritual capacities lay within each individual.
there are many different dimensions, the goddess inhabits a few or maybe just one, but there are millions of others and as i explore them all. i ‘m an engaging sort of man, i like flirting and playing, i’m skipping through them all, spreading wisdom, magick and truth, i’m like a cooler version of jesus now, walking on lsd and strong weed, wearing rose colored glasses and a cool hat. yeah man, i break bread with the romantics, popes, high priestesses, the sacred whores of babylon, the consorts of the 1st temple, the ghosts of atlantis, my scarlet women, the magickians and shamans, the octopus goddess, the romantics, the poet philosophers the artists and the plant spirits. the hardest are the brain dead zombies, come on people i need some humanity. it’s in your hearts, find it.
it’s an amazing universe. beauty everywhere, look at the day, the stars, the ones you love, look into their eyes, it’s in the face of the dogs, th'e tails of the cats, it’s everywhere i look on your planet. earth, what a magnificent place. it really is the best planet in the hood, lets get it together and keep it beautiful.
it’s an amazing universe. beauty everywhere, look at the day, the stars, the ones you love, look into their eyes, it’s in the face of the dogs, th'e tails of the cats, it’s everywhere i look on your planet. earth, what a magnificent place. it really is the best planet in the hood, lets get it together and keep it beautiful.
some words passed in between us, holy things fell from the skies, as mothers looked for children's eyes in the faint recognition that they would see something familiar, something, anything. but these are not really our children. we are their parents.
me with your apples, you with my pairs the king of hearts and the king of hearts, that's all i have and that's all i need. my son once said to me, 'you will be a jolly old man not a grumpy old man.'
at the time i was a grumpy old man but i see his point. i'll never be bitter and resentful but i will have my sadness under my hat.
big homes stuck between the traffic stream and the horizons dreams one day the ocean will wash it away, one day we will walk this road again and you and i will still stop on that bench and watch the frigging dolphins, and one day when your happy you will remember the king of hearts. but the future is a whimsical thing and the wheels of time are not clockwork cogs but nautilus spirals
winding it's circle around us all, inescapable future, inexplicable pasts, impermanent now.
but in the meantime i'd settle for sitting on a bench with you looking out at the sea.
me with your apples, you with my pairs the king of hearts and the king of hearts, that's all i have and that's all i need. my son once said to me, 'you will be a jolly old man not a grumpy old man.'
at the time i was a grumpy old man but i see his point. i'll never be bitter and resentful but i will have my sadness under my hat.
big homes stuck between the traffic stream and the horizons dreams one day the ocean will wash it away, one day we will walk this road again and you and i will still stop on that bench and watch the frigging dolphins, and one day when your happy you will remember the king of hearts. but the future is a whimsical thing and the wheels of time are not clockwork cogs but nautilus spirals
winding it's circle around us all, inescapable future, inexplicable pasts, impermanent now.
but in the meantime i'd settle for sitting on a bench with you looking out at the sea.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
post apocalypse then, we hid under jungle canopy, you with your cigarettes and handgun, me with my sword, we lived on coconuts and swam together in the strange lost lagoon with the lima. every day we checked the perimeters and set out traps, every day we ate the fruit and fresh fish, we ran and chased one another like wild children, free and in love.
but there was always danger, as the enemy crept into our secret territory, their million electronic eyes, their satellites and technology, their strange machinery that made so much shrieking and noise even the lima who were all sleeping had to move away until it subdued. we stayed, tending to our defences, you with your feminine prowess hopping from branch to branch above, spreading nets and booby traps, me leading them into certain death.
when we looked at the mess, flesh had been torn apart, bodies ripped and mashed by our primitive but effective weapons, we took their clothes, guns, cigarettes and trinkets and left the dead meat to the jungle as an offering.
later that night we heard the jaguar god eating, the tearing of flesh, the crunching of bone, we lay under our blankets and listened until silence descended and we fell asleep in one another arms.
one day we noticed the jungle shrinking, we walked out to the edge and there was nothing but machinery, all the life was gone, replaced by a flat wasteland as far as the eye could see, from the red mountains to where we stood, all the jungle was being eaten by the enemy.
we held council with the lima, they were frightened and needed protection, they had heard the enemy was decimating jungles all over the lands, that their brothers and sisters had been destroyed, they had been deprived of food and water and the red plains and the endless roof were now just filled with bones of animals, a lucky few had made it, but they were homeless, starving and defeated.
we promised to protect them and that our little jungle would never fall to the enemy and their machines.
we fought long and hard, we sabotaged the machines, we killed many of them, we made intricate traps and we took many of their possessions, phones, watches, books, jewels and we returned them to the earth where they came from but they always sent more. soon the final battle came, the forest had been stripped away to just a narrow strip and the lagoon, the limas were either dead of had moved away, but we continued to fight.
our backs against one another as the machines came towards us, our bodies covered in dust and mud, i remember you and i stood together, as the perimeter closed around us, and you said, 'captain mission, it is a good day to die.'
and i laughed and said 'yes, it is a good day to die.'
but there was always danger, as the enemy crept into our secret territory, their million electronic eyes, their satellites and technology, their strange machinery that made so much shrieking and noise even the lima who were all sleeping had to move away until it subdued. we stayed, tending to our defences, you with your feminine prowess hopping from branch to branch above, spreading nets and booby traps, me leading them into certain death.
when we looked at the mess, flesh had been torn apart, bodies ripped and mashed by our primitive but effective weapons, we took their clothes, guns, cigarettes and trinkets and left the dead meat to the jungle as an offering.
later that night we heard the jaguar god eating, the tearing of flesh, the crunching of bone, we lay under our blankets and listened until silence descended and we fell asleep in one another arms.
one day we noticed the jungle shrinking, we walked out to the edge and there was nothing but machinery, all the life was gone, replaced by a flat wasteland as far as the eye could see, from the red mountains to where we stood, all the jungle was being eaten by the enemy.
we held council with the lima, they were frightened and needed protection, they had heard the enemy was decimating jungles all over the lands, that their brothers and sisters had been destroyed, they had been deprived of food and water and the red plains and the endless roof were now just filled with bones of animals, a lucky few had made it, but they were homeless, starving and defeated.
we promised to protect them and that our little jungle would never fall to the enemy and their machines.
we fought long and hard, we sabotaged the machines, we killed many of them, we made intricate traps and we took many of their possessions, phones, watches, books, jewels and we returned them to the earth where they came from but they always sent more. soon the final battle came, the forest had been stripped away to just a narrow strip and the lagoon, the limas were either dead of had moved away, but we continued to fight.
our backs against one another as the machines came towards us, our bodies covered in dust and mud, i remember you and i stood together, as the perimeter closed around us, and you said, 'captain mission, it is a good day to die.'
and i laughed and said 'yes, it is a good day to die.'
it's not that i have no belief in astrology, rocks in space influence us just as much as the water does, magnetism and appetite, everything is connected, entwined in a cosmic dance, however i do feel that one should be selective when consulting people about their astrology. question everything and use your own intuition to determine the reality for you. there are many ways to interpret something, many ways to see, many angles.
i have a person in london i consult with when i am there, 24 years ago he said to me i was ruled by merlins law, '"EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY."
at the time i had no idea what this meant but now with clarity i do.
when i was in london i returned and got my charts for the year ahead, normally i would not chose to do this, but i have this feeling that this year was important to align myself astrologically.
i have a person in london i consult with when i am there, 24 years ago he said to me i was ruled by merlins law, '"EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY."
at the time i had no idea what this meant but now with clarity i do.
when i was in london i returned and got my charts for the year ahead, normally i would not chose to do this, but i have this feeling that this year was important to align myself astrologically.
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