disconnected. fog clouds my head now, fills up my cranium like an early morning mist over the ocean it rolls in obscuring everything, all i think is possible suddenly becomes impossible, hope is extinguished, i fall off the face of the earth itself, gravity has spat me out. my chest rips open like the alien movie only instead of a small beast steam pours out and i feel deflated like a melting replica of myself. 
what happened to me? once i was fine, now i just feel completely useless. a hopeless case. i was really lost and found and now i'm just more lost than ever. i wish i could delete it all, trash it, burn it from my fucking hard drive but maybe i'll just use a painkiller. no wonder people just give up on life. it's so fucking disappointing. 
connected, my body is alive, energy pulses through it like warm cosmic radiation, fingertips tingle, head lights up with a luminous intelligence, eyes open wider and contain all things above and below. gravity slows down as it reaches me, time displaces and events occur within my radius that sublimate transcendence to a resonance with a sunshine groove. everything feels fresh and possible, life has meaning, it makes me want to play with my friends. 
what happens to me, why?