Monday, April 15, 2019

back to moments. yep i like them as well, dancing around, different colours, atomic molecules of you floating around balmoral, i'd scoop them up and turn them into an ice cream, lick lick, mmm.
the world's in an orbit, the moons on one, the planets are as well and so are we. it's a strange dance, and most of the time i am in time with it all but these last few days i seem to just be in time.
i never had time tick so loudly in my life, i've always been free from it, everything i did was outside off time.
obviously there was work time which is vague and shifts around, i tell my brain i have to leave around an hour before and usually i do, i get there early and never really think about leaving, until i do. time never held a grip upon me, i never noticed it, never was influenced by it, never really lived inside it. then suddenly i'm in it. it's a cage around me, a prison. 
i have to break out and return to what i know is right for me, myself. where do i start, it's time for me to step out again, alone.
free from it all and surrender to the glamour, let it have me, do what you will let the good times roll. i'll be a free agent and do what i want to do. no longer caged by time, by my own mind and it's self imposed beautiful entrapment. it's time to be free again and face the consequences.
all i ever wanted was you, but i'm far away from that. and all i have is whatever weird thing it is you see in me to navigate from, that's what i trust more than anything, even myself. through you i can see myself but you don't know me and therein lays a dilemma. so i have to understand slowly, you will know me, and i will get to know myself.

No comments: