Sunday, February 24, 2019

'reincarnation is sexy,' she whispered as i lay there thinking about the surf. i could feel the sun light on my skin, the soft sensation of it's light upon my black bones. i must have been in some altered heightened state, post isolation tank psychosis as it was unfortunately termed by the medical model. 
for us it was a well known as pre death hyper perception pdhp. for short term psychonauts the effect could last weeks and months but for old vets the effects wore of after a few hours thus just an abstract indulgence. 
in this instance all sensory perception heightened to a saturation point. colours exploded as my vision scanned the beach, there was so much vital energy in the air i could drink it down by bone breathing. 
i was alive and well in theory as my head phones played 'the flaming lips' loudly, 'ego tripping at the gates of hell.' 
my sunglasses quenched the overspill saturation and the joint i had smoked kept my body numbed from to much tactile information, i just wanted to experience the full pleasure of her fingertips upon my skin, that smell of her, the way she looked at me and the way her hair just fell down into my face like the most beautiful sight i'd ever seen, behind her the moon seemed to fill the sky, a halo she wore radiating out into my sun. 
i was super relaxed and enjoying the ancient cause and effect nullification, a divinity point, but those words just echoed inside me like a butterfly trapped in a tibetan bowl. my voice was gentle, slightly fractured but softer and words just frictionlessly escaped,
'that's possibly the healthiest attitude to have about living i have ever heard.'
'it's about dying my love.'
she smiled but discretely hoping i wouldn't notice, being coy perhaps. i don't know, my extra perception has limits. hard to read, easy to read, a paradox indeed. she held the demons of the flesh in her hands.
i take it from her 'not just yet.'
she accepts this so gracefully, i'm hardly there now, slipping away into soft time, the atoms of the self all floating away under a spinning fan.
so i think about the words, yes it is probably correct to assume it is sexy. the universe is sexy and erotic. the whole planet runs upon the principle of life, it's the prime directive to adopt a sensual philosophy to death as well. 
forget the mystical aspects of it, just imagine the physics. energy cannot be destroyed only it's state changed. that's sexy without the spiritual element. all dna on planet earth no matter where it is from gets recycled, which is why it's probably better to be eaten by a tiger than crushed in a car accident. either way on a physical level once the soul has left the cells are broken down, the atoms reduced to dust and absorbed into the earth. after all we are a walking bag of nutrients, at least the tiger uses us whereas the car abuses us.
yeah the sexy impulse is back in my old bones.
'i miss you baby'
'i miss you to,' i whispered.
she's smiling, that coy look that mona lisa one, all enigmatic and sensual. her audrey heburn eyes glimpse right down deep into the new me. i offer her my neck, she pulls out the curved blade from it's sheath, beautifully crafted, it's ivory handle and delicate jewel encrusted inlay. cold touch, hot skin as a bead of sweat drips downwards, no tears or fear just that love we have. the love that spans infinity and beyond.
her lips are moving in towards mine very slowly, i want it badly but would wait eternity for it to arrive. that confliction i used to carry vaporized, gone baby gone, it's all perfect clarity now. 
'reincarnation is sexy,' her lips speak to mine and i say, 
'you are the most beautiful light i have ever seen.'

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