life has been cruel to me, it torments and teases me along the way, often harmlessly, little ironic bit's and pieces but occasionally it
drops a clanger on me, like todays little shopping adventure with miss cupcake who went into peter alexanders and tried on some sort of floral pj bottom thing with frills and lacy bits and despite them being over her clothes, she just held them up to her and asked me what i thought, it was obvious that something inside me started to melt and my strong self imposed boundaries started to cascade the way a chocolate egg would in a microwave.
how awfully unfair.
yet we had a nice day, eating everywhere and everything, miss cupcake does have good taste in food, clothing and style except when it comes to those horrid cork high heeled leisure shoes, totally ridiculous and thankfully i talk her out of buying them.
'you only want to oppress me.' she says. i'm pretty sure she is serious.
'i don't need to do that miss cupcake. i say, and i mean it.
it was a strange moment but it passed and i guess she will return tomorrow to buy them shoes, probably just to spite me, but also cos she genuinely seemed fond of them. i don't know, shoes and girls are like hippo's and water, you don't ever get between them.
what a great day though. wow, i wish life could be like that all the time.
just simple.
miss cupcake made a fantastic breakfast, i recall her making me eggs every morning when we were in a relationship, mmm, she's good with her eggs. speaking about which, we heard her babies heartbeat with a little portable monitor, it sounds amazing, like an underwater train, strong and affirmative. i think it's a girl.
3 comments:
Life has it's own version of cruelty for each and every one of us.
What I might find cruel in my life may be blasé in another persons. The same in reverse. There are things I hear about in other peoples like where I think "So what?".
I've been beaten by family members who refuse to remember they use to. I've been stabbed multiple times and been shot at, guns pointed at me. All while living in the States. Growing up as the only white guy in a black part of town. My humour and stupidity kept me alive.
Moving back to Australia showed me how tuff I had gotten without realising. The best violence dished out to me in school was barely 1% of what I experienced in the US school system.
At the end of the day, it's all in your mind because anything is what you make it. I know two people can sit in the same room, one can enjoy the experience and the other can loath it. Both experience the same event at the same time. What's the difference?
man thanks for the perspective, wow you would have some amazing stories to tell with your background.
having worked as a youth worker with homeless / wayward kids in the states, uk and sydney i always found the sydney kids to be lightweights in comparison. they even had mobile phones.
yes i know, i was being self indulgent in my comments, and a lot of the writing here in my blog is incredibly indulgent, it's just the place i work stuff out, rant, write with out boundaries and express myself. i do generally aspire to a spiritual framework when events happen that challenge me, the buddhist perspective is very practical, however i am occasionally enslaved my my own ego and desires. that's just human stuff man, inescapable unless we live in caves.
yeah a beautiful girl showing me her lingerie seems to have a powerful hold upon me compared to the years i had people charging at me with knives in crisis services i worked at.
weird huh?
Who knew? That was a great read.
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