well here i am following miss cupcake down the street, as hawkers and sellers thrust their colourful wares upon us, watches, bangles, dvds, cds, trinkets and paraphernalia we shun them all for we are heading with determination to the massage parlour for another amazing massage. however as we walk through we can see the place is packed and they can't squeeze us in.
miss cupcake knows what she is doing, she is a bali veteran, she knows all the best spots, has a wealth of experience of the local area and customs, in cupcake i trust, she heads of back down the street to another establishment, old mission with his new laid back bali aura and light step follows wondering where she's heading. up a long flight of steps into a hairdressing parlour which doubles as a massage area. we book in for the works. cupcake asks, 'wanna share a room?'
it's a tempting offer but i know that she would not want to see me in massage mode, for i make a lot of noise, flirt around, laugh when they do my toes, and generally immerse myself in the whole experience. so i head into a separate room.
the woman comes in and asks me to take my clothes off and wrap the towel around me.
always enthused about being naked i comply.
i climb upon the table while she covers me in cheap oil and starts to run her hands down my legs, at first the feeling is pleasant but i do get slightly anxious when her hands go right under the towel all the way to my crotch and then another somewhere else. jesus i think, this must be a kinda all over massage, or something, i think.
i chat away to the lady, she's a catholic from jarkata, currently reading the bible, moved to bali 2 months ago, lives next door in a single room, it's her day off tomorrow, would i like to come visit her for a massage...?
i smile nervously, she's not that cute. then she starts pulling out these wet tea towels and rubbing me up and down with them.
what the fuck is going on now, what kinda massage is this, where's that cute ari from up the road gone, why can't she be here massaging me and giggling in her innocent little way, what is this madness, cupcake set me up, she's out on the street having a laugh and sneaking a vodka tonic in. then i hear her voice and feel some what reassured, i look around the room, it's really shabby and suddenly i hear a vacuum cleaner, jesus i hope they don't bring that anywhere near me.
now i'm covered in oil while she slips her hands all over the place, rubbing me from head to toe, it's not really a massage, more of a kind off rub hard with oil session, which i have done many times with girlfriends in many different variations but right now it's kinda repulsive and i'm getting tense.
then she asks if i want a hand job.
i explain how miss cupcake and i have been happily married for ten years but thank you for asking.
she immediately stops and gives me the bill.
i dress fast and run down the steps, as i am about to disappear miss cupcake screams out for me to wait, which i do. we run down those steps and halfway down the street, both in abject horror at our massage experience and both racing to see who can use the shower first. cupcake pulls the p word on me and locks me out the bathroom.
jesus cupcake there are limits to this friendship you know.
ari i am so sorry for being disloyal and using some other establishment, i'll be there tomorrow for your hot rocks babe.