im standing outside miss cupcakes house after a wonderful dinner, a really brilliant fish dinner with amazing vital salad and yummy potatoes, followed by the best rhubarb muffins ever, oh how pleasing to captain missions taste buds who had just been eating chick peas for the last two days. we were going to watch a dvd but i can sense things are not quite right and i can feel possibility that the evening will be cancelled as miss cupcake needs her sleep. i exit awkwardly and there i am, on the street with a bag of leftover rhubarb muffins. my phone starts going mental, fabiana in perth calls inviting me over, 'come on baby, i'll pay half your airfare.'
well yeah but fabiana is a handful of trouble, 'half the airfare plus meals and any hospital bills and maybe you're on fabs' i say.
more bleating and whining, some tempting offers and some sort of promise to look after me. i say good bye as there's another call.
it's gravy, he say how much he loves me, and how much he enjoyed hanging out with me, how wonderful it is to have someone who just gets it.
'right back at ya dude.'
yeah gravey is switched on, he's plugged in and hooked up to the universe, in exactly the same way i am, we both have worked it all out, we know our roles and purpose, we are old souls, gravy man you are like a brother to me. you make me feel sane.
i spend about 30 mins on the street chatting with my people, about to jump in my car when the phone rings again, it's agent stone. we chat for a while, she's worried about me, i can feel it, she's tuned in to my bio frequencies, she knows me very well. yes i confess my sins to her, she comes from a good place with my interests at heart. she says, she will visits me on wednesday and we will go swimming in the sea.
i can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
a big fishy dinner, some rhubarb cake inside me, cupcakes beautiful face, and my friends, i am blessed really, just blessed to have these people in my life. to have them care and love me the way they do, fuck i love you guys.
then when i get home hp calls, she wants me at two ceremonies. mmm, big stuff happening, the vine is really huge in my consciousness, pulling me towards something, offering me some light. how heavy the pressure is, no wonder people don't make it.
i met a guy today who was telling me his step daughter hung herself last week, we talk about this for a while, apparently the pain in her heart was to much. how sad.
i have had two women suicide because i didn't give them my time, it's a fucking veil of tears sometimes, how can a small heart take this world and the human condition.
then there's my own demons, the ones that hunt me down relentlessly, the ones from that lost country, the ones that fucking haunt my bed, my heart, my soul and my stupid mind as they pull apart and fucking tear me limb from limb, ha! but i see you demons for what you really are, angels come to set me free.
goodnight people sleep tight.