strangely i was under the impression it was saturday today but it's actually friday i discover as i reorientate myself into a post ayahuscia evening that came up out of the blue when hp requested i join her and ben for a session which i found myself agreeing to quite spontaneously yet i did somewhere see this coming somewhere in my third eye as i had not eaten anything except for a hash brown early in the morning so i had done my preparatory fasting. i guess a vine session was the conclusion to my current experience or at least a chance to reflect upon it by the part of my brain i love.
the walk down through the rain swept streets was short and for some reason as i thought about what i wanted from the session i was always drifting towards, intention. not just as a private thing but as something that is aligned. it's there in mayan philosophy, my song 8 sky place is all about this.
i enter and there's a strange energy, it's not right, i have to clear it privately, change it a bit, it's like moving furniture around but it's all energetic, shifting the space in the room, pockets of egos and personality conflicts, various ideas and positions need settling. this starts to happen and i am helped by some intervention. i find my place and we move into session.
i've drunk many times now, it's pointless counting, the spirit of ayahuscia loves me, i no longer purge, except for the occasional spit i like to eject, some psychic residue that manifests needs ejection. yes she loves me, we briefly discuss the heart and tantra and it appears we all share the same intent. therefore hp invites ayahuscia in to these areas, and when she comes it's good, sexy, smart and profoundly true for me, the invisible world made manifest. massage, white magick, pranic healing, all working in their various dimensions, all healing. suddenly i feel the vine engaging in an aura cleanse, petty yearnings, desires, hopes, fears, attachments, loss, are violently plucked from me, just like the white witch does with me.
many things pass through me, some tears are shed, loss i guess but it's not painful or tragic, it's beautiful. then there's some laughter as i feel the tantric energy move through me, i guide it along up my body, acutely aware where it needs to go.
later we do some yoga and stretching, all very good, but then i start to let my body shake to the music, yes something tribal and raw is happening, my body which has been fat and sluggish is changing, i'm getting to where i want to be, agile, slim and lithe.
i shake and dance, the body loosens, i'm rubber, i think of something ari said to me when she massaged me, 'captain mission you are very strong.' i thought she was referring to something physical but it wasn't. it is my resilience and will. yeah i am strong.
i dance like a wild man, a primal beat, something devoid of mind, something pure and animal, we all are in this state, liberation.
yeah i'm a wild monkey man with my banana and coconut ideology, my holistic sensuality, my internal rhythmic beat is the ....off beat. i'm shaken and stirred, and i will shake and stir, suddenly i hear a familiar sound, a piano tinkle away. it's the deep fix in session, i smile, that's a good thing for me, with this song i did write for session, it's unfinished but sounds mighty through these nice speakers, they are beautiful sounds and the message comes across loud and clear. i explain how i wrote it and then have to explain the mayan calendar which i studied for a long time many years ago, i'm a blue monkey remember.
yeah the calendar is based upon intention, 8 division sky place, being in tune.
i think about bali, i think about you.
why bother you say?
because i am those birds in love. it's a private intention that is made public, that's all, doesn't have to be a big ho ha, just something ritualised and profound, like getting a tattoo should be, that''s how it is for me. a relationship anointed by the universe, it's a triangle, not a straight line. love is sacred but it's scarce.
destiny or free will?
they are exactly the same. but it would be total arrogance to think we are free and will takes a long long time to find. it's taken me many lives to find them.
the last words that meant anything significant 'i'm excited about the future.'
my mission is complete
my one regret?
not sharing my hash brown with you at the airport.

later i'm watching the ocean, it's about 3am and there's a magnificent space view, stars everywhere down at the beach, i see a lone plane cut through the night, i see a shooting star and make a wish, the same wish i always make, i see the past behind me, the now is perfect, and the future...