kate
wow, you were stunning, just fucking stunning in every way. men and women just saw you and they wanted you, i'd seen it before but not like that, you just some powerful stuff happening there drawing everyone in to your vortex. you were like ketamine with better hair you were a beautiful star but you burnt out far to fast. you were the classic australia girl really, smart and gorgeous beach blond with an amazing body but you were on self destruct full throttle like so many of your peers, destroyed by men.
i saw it when i met you in that office, all business woman like in your executive outfit, all control and power held tight like a straight jacket. you said you never met anyone like me before cos i hit you hard with some atomic truths, i saw through your armour, your cocaine fuelled tongue, your alcoholic facades, that wound you had was hard and deep, i saw the vulnerable child underneath it, i saw your history, sad little child, you lost everything when you were young, and you blamed yourself for it, punished yourself for years, destroyed everything you had, money, looks, love, one after another the girl that had everything just wanted escape.
we danced the cosmic dance of vishnu for a while, i gave you the love i had, there were moments when we worked, moments when it was good, but it's fragmented for me, my memories are vast but vague. i liked you when you laughed and were sober, i loved you when you were speaking without fear or feeling the need off protection, they were windows into your inner beauty, you had a lot of that baby.
but like all things, when it comes down to it, it's a matter of will. your's was under assault, you were surrounded by vampires and zombies all wanting your demise, your friends were never really your friends, they hated that you had something good in your life and they hated that you were abandoning them. with friends like that sucking your vitality and me on the other side it was a war i couldn't win, a man's gotta know his limitations, and i know mine.
edge play, yeah i can play that game, but you don't play, you destroy, there's no love kate, no fucking love, edge play works with a little love baby, otherwise it's just that stupid desire that i come up against time after time, the one that taunts and teases me, the one that i made my peace with, the one i beat into submission. the death wish.
when they said you had taken your life i was not surprised. it was obvious how the story would end, it's such a clique kate. you betrayed me with a clique ending, i deserved more. i deserve better than that.