the massage yesterday must have shifted some blocked emotional shit, later in the day i started to feel very emotional, i mean like really teary and stuff, i kinda had to disguise it a bit cos i didn't wanna cause any dramas but some major shit was cleared. my emotional state was kinda sorted, well i feel slightly clearer about miss cupcake at least, i love her very much but she's on her new path, no room for a man like me and i have to let go of that desire. it's good i guess, she's obviously clear about that to. i'm thinking with my heart and processing with my brain, that's gotta be good, but there are moments when i wanna just hold her and hold her until we just fade out together.
well i'm a strange kinda lonely traveller on a strange road, destination unknown although i've received various transmissions from the plant spirits about this next stage. i'm tuned in, she's giving me permission to work with her, she loves me. i always wanted to be loved like this, it's the love that i know is true. i guess in some ways i did find my wife, my goddess. i guess that's a good place to start a new beginning.

we drive through a big traffic explosion, long journey, eat in morocco, food is sensational, this part of town is really nice, cupcake looks glowing and wonderful, i feel sleepy and full.