i smoke until i fall asleep, the night people come, they wrap me in soft down and stroke my head like a child, they whisper in my ears and sing me lullabies, then as i enter rem they telepathically transmit information to me, it comes symbolically, universal symbols, these people are from far away, they are interested in aspects of humanity, they are reaching out, making connections, they like me, they like my expansive nature but they are concerned about my interaction with the world, they ask me to restrain myself, keep it private, so when i awake the idea is strong. i weigh it up, the pro's and the cons, the pluses and the minuses, am i being true to myself, and which one.
i split into the parts, we form a committee, some part of me asks for an agenda, he's overwhelmed by the others, one is smoking an opium pipe, his hands weave strange intricate patterns in the air as he talks about a ship he sailed upon, another eats lumberjack cake and has a far away look in his eyes, there's quite a few and it takes a moment for them to settle and actually behave relatively reasonably as a team, they discuss who should take control and a softer gentler version of myself is chosen.
'okay guys, lets hear it.'
the overwhelming need here is to unplug. we are all in parasympathetic modes, dealing with our issues, conflicts and general interactions, we require some time for our selves, even i concur. there is only one dissenter, an extremist type who always pushes the limits. however we have him outnumbered and frankly out classed, his argument is self absorption and weak, he has his inner world but the outer landscape is somewhat flaccid and empty, he requires some thing external to loose himself in and we have proposed the treatment. he likes it, he accepts it.
i call the meeting to an end, everyone sighs, it's a good moment, one to saviour, the general buzz in the air is positive as they start to exit, one by one, a lesser known type thanks me on behalf of the others, i sit there alone in a big corporate office, looking at the blue mountains in the distance, gazing at the skies, the cars, the whole expanse of man over nature, it's madness. and me what do i want, i have one desire left, it's an ancient one, it's unfulfilled and it lays buried in un-memory, sadness and grief. it's a stupid fantasy i say to myself, yeah, stupid imagination always getting me in trouble, since i was a kid.
but it's all i have really.