marnee
wow you did blow my mind, when i fist saw you in that tiny room in kings cross, the electricity just went nuts in that room, i could see the blue flashes igniting the small space, we were both in altered states, coming down after massive weekends, you in that amazing pvc outfit and me looking like a bohemian time traveller from the 20's, we almost fell into one another on sight, melted, i know you felt that, as i asked you weeks later, and you said it was the most real experience you had ever had, for some one that had been in several war zones as a journalist i respected that. we stayed in that room listening to the chemical brothers and then you asked me to dinner but we ended up in a movie, laying on big cushions entwined. i can't recall anything else about that night, only i had come to tell you your fiancee was going to a party and wanted you not to worry, i didn't tell you he was with a tall blonde from liverpool as he was a friend, but the issue melted away as we became entangled and it was a hard issue to confront as i was strangely loyal to him while betraying him. later you found out about the blonde.
we continued our affair, if was wonderful until you said you needed to marry him as you had promised him the opportunity of citizenship. this threw me, but i was gracious, it was wonderful that we had been given this opportunity to at least meet, our stars had crossed paths and i was grateful, you spent a long weekend with me at that big house in avalon, i'll never forget that walk along the beach. it was a long goodbye.
about a year later you rang me, i was living in bronte and left you a key, he had been abusive and you needed a safe place, and i was always the safe place. it was so wonderful to see you, i was always in love with you, even when you were gone i never stopped loving you.
i remember you saying to me, you would take me on a holiday to for a few weeks and we would work out what we wanted to do with our lives. i didn't care as long as we were together.
as we walked out he was there, calling out and i let you go. and he said all the right things, and you returned with the inevitable news. i let you two stay at my place, i let you have some room to sort it out, i lived at a friends and you guys made your plans. it killed me marnee. to see you go but i let go. no one should let go of the same girl twice in one life time.
marnee, strange irish asian cosmic eye's. your eyes were amazing, they held secrets i would have given my life to unlock, i love you where ever you are, i just wanted you to know that. not just your beauty but with that razor sharp mind and intellect, you had indeed made a mark, travelled, read, wrote, political, spiritual, warrior you were no foolish bimbo or any ones slave but you belonged to him.