occasionally i slip into some ancient hedonistic urge, they are fairly random and it depends whom i am with, i need to really know my partners in crime, i need to feel like they have my back if things go bad, it's protection baby, can't put your faith in just any old person, nah! you gotta deliver the goods unto me before you get that, you gotta show me your heart chakra, i gotta see it and feel it's intention.
i'm chatting to nico one day, i say, 'you will never know me,'
she says she really respects that.
now that's a fucking cool woman, that's why i dig her, she's got the heart thing that i love.
anyways i don't think you ever really know some one, i mean do you know yourself?
i doubt it. just when you think you do, another aspect pops up, it's a production line of selves, i'm usually aligned, my many selves are a good and healthy democracy, they are all in check unless the hedonistic one is out, cut loose and gone awol, but my nature is never destructive so he's strangely and ironically responsible and easy to hang with, he's a good friend, in the same way agent stone was a good friend and always got me home at 3am.
this hedonistic dionysian aspect of myself will have everyone comfortable around him, all protected and safe from harm, even though they may be flirting with death in all her many forms. yeah i have an apollo within to, they often end up in heated discussion but sometimes you gotta know when to let the cat out and when to let the dog out.
anyway my point is i can feel my ego bubbling away, personalities all squabbling for a position, i'm sitting with miss cupcake in a coffee shop in downtown manly when she asks me a question. i'm processing fast, options flicker through my heads, who's gonna answer this, the persona's suddenly come to a stillness, democracy in action, they recede and truth comes out beyond ego. sometimes trust with people is a finishing line and today we reached a finishing line. it felt okay to share that with her, it felt safe.