Wednesday, December 29, 2010

err oh dear, very tired, exhausted today, yeah, gotta listen to cake bush and eat lumberjack kate to sustain myself until i know which room i will sleep in. i can feel a pull towards the master bedroom. every time i try to think about it my head becomes clouded with strange romantic thoughts, my head is feeling very strange, it's processing some feelings, emotional stuff, mmm, it's stuck in a feedback loop, the past, ten years ago, now, something fucking dark is there, but i gotta let it go. i gotta move onwards like a solider in a war, i gotta defeat this anxiety. it's fucking stupid to feel blocked like this, it's never happened to me before at any time i recall, yet its happened now and i have to fucking shift it. i know what has to happen. it's a crazy thing. new years is coming up, is there anxiety there, maybe. i don't want her to feel uncomfortable, or embarrassed but how else are we gonna get around this shit. we have to go there. my arrow is loaded, i'm setting her in my sights, i'm pulling back my stretchy thing and taking aim, shit last time i did this i shot the fucking arrow straight into my head. mmm, sleep on it mission. your to fucked up right now.
yeah okay brain okay don't push me around you fucking egotistical complexity.
shut up heart, your just a stupid pump
tune in to me for a while with that 99% that lays dormant and then i'll hear what you got.
okay heart sock it to me?
soul mate.
that's what you got? that's all you fucking got fucking soul partner?
its all there is. think about it.

silence
then
yeah okay heart she's our soul mate.
zzzzz

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