strange ambient music, floating through the workshops at 3 am, we sit there suspended in our animation listening, i fell apart and i reassemble, atoms spin around, my body swirls in a molecular dance, my face hits me, slapped on last, i form some physicality.
i inhabit space this body has depth in several dimensions, it has an internal one to thanks to this mind, yes i like this mind, as it sweeps over all things, moves outwards instead of in, recognizing they are the same, conflict inside myself, explodes in heat, alchemical back flip, the gardens are burning with rain, flowers are drenched and cold, the night animals murmur as i stand out there under a balcony, a giant black wingspan swoops down, a big blg bird, a raven silhouetted against the night, it glides in above me and disappears into the tree. thank you big black bird, i am blessed.
an eye peeks out for a moment, a flash of beak gleams through the watery night. yes this place is good, it has healing energy, it has a soft vibration, it nurtures and prepares, it's an environment that is an ecology. my night friends arrive, they bring me love, they bring me their love.
i move towards the population centers, the town centre, empty shops, a single parked car, no signs of life, i punch a hole in time, a different time, it's summer, very warm, there are people everywhere, there are cars queued up in the streets waiting for that green light freedom. there's a good smell in the air wafting over from the cafes and cake shops, the bakeries and chicken shops,the people all look happy.
you skip back into mission control real time, the ambient music plays, part gothic choir, part slow jazz, with some strange strange air bits. bowie did this in low, side two, he created this music although he was inspired by the german industrial machine music of nu and kraftwork. thankfully you know your musical history if not your own.
you smoke a joint with a friend, its good, it's what you need to heal, to block the pain. admit it, the new body is detecting some weird metaphysical pain, it does not show up on any scan but it can be felt. 'mmm, smells like some useless residual emotion, get an update,' the voice says, but i need more information.
'what update, what emotion and what are you?'
'the new emotional mind software EMSv5.1, we can install it now if you wish?'
'no i'm fine, i just need a little time.'
i sit on a stool designed for people who are feeling upset, it sends a shot of heroin into the brain, it's a tiny shot, a micro gram, but enough to offer bliss to most people. some one gives me a drink, a vodka, i smoke a cigarette forgetting that i don't smoke or drink. soon i am trashed and vocal, some girl wraps her lips around my neck, she's kissing me and her bangle gets caught on my ear ring, am forced to follow her into a empty room but as i am dragged through the corridor i wonder when this workshop became a bar area and who the fuck are all these people.
now im in a situation, she starts attempting to peel her clothes off but her bangle is still stuck in my ear, she's laughing and i'm in more pain. these girls are just trouble.
eventually i smoke a fat joint with her, she's managed to remove everything, without removing my ear.
she tells me 'she's sorry.'
'for what?'
'everything.'
'it's not your fault.'
we lay back and fall sleep.