in the world of mirrors and reflections all is infinite to the point it becomes invisible, only the truth can understand the big picture, it see's the frame. she / he whom stares into the abyss must be careful the abyss does not stare into him / her.

i fell right in didn't i, stupid fucking mission, all content, alone in his post pan years, then whoosh in an abyss of ambiguity and uncertainty, not even in an ocean but under it sinking at the depths with the giant spider crabs, fang tooth fish and vampire squid, oh hi vampire squid my old friend. we are the strangest fish in the ocean are we not? it seems appropriate we all find ourself down here. at least you guys are not drowning.

i need a blood transfusion, a new role, some hard drugs and heavy hard core energy, i need a fix, a solution to this jonesing, longing and fucking torment, i need to seek solace somewhere, sanctuary a safe place to breath again and fall asleep for 1000's of years where my dreams will keep me safe from this dumb heart, stupid stupid heart, that feels far to fucking much, a useless mass of churning gunky blood and chambers that are bigger on the inside than from the out. my own tardis is exploding, imploding, spanning space trapped in amber like an old bug in a tree.
is it worth it?
is she worth it?
oh my god people, she is so worth it, so very worth it i can't tell you how much worth this woman has, it pours out from her fingertips, drips from her hands and radiates from her heart. i've known love and women all my life but nothing comes close to ms mission, she's fucking amazing and everyday i am more amazed. more amazed at her in ways i can't explain, her beauty is so profoundly entrenched with intelligence it is glorious to behold. she walks in the world a free spirit, a true wonder and change agent just by being. and all i can do is witness it from afar, hold space and hope she falls and i can catch her.
so despite heavy heart my trajectory is set, my brilliant fate sealed, my will is true and my alignment sanctified by the universe itself. 
to infinity and beyond. love captain mission