i'm so confused by my humiliation and anger i run my situation via two people as hypotheticals, what they say affirms my own reality, although this don't influence me in any great way it does make me validate i am certainly justified in my feelings. both people were furious about it. actually they were more severe in their responses than i have been and were absolutely disgusted, yeah it was pretty cruel. the saddest thing is i miss my times with her, i was just on the cusp of something, something that would have healed us both but she miss cupcake just sees me as another flower. yeah it was funny the french dude always said that to me, 'she's like a butterfly hopping from flower to flower.'
'yeah well i'm a tree.'
and here i am, growing taller, closer towards the light. i tied to be a good friend to you miss cupcake, i really did want you just to be alive and happy and part of me not the other way around, because you surround yourself with corrupting influences who always bring you down, you always have done this because then you actually look good, more functional, together and in control of those more damaged than you. you fell for the maya, you degraded and humiliated me not from hate not from love but because that's your nature, fear, and i feel so saddened and disappointed that you failed to believe in my nature your opposite but i don't want to hate you, punish you or feel anything other than love for you and your child. i don't wanna submit to the weakness of my own nature, so i forgive you and your friend. and i leave you with this as a friend.
the karmic bonds you pass to your children will surprise you in your life, you will have to deal with yourself through your child and i hope you have a captain around who can help you do this because you're going to need one to keep yourself in check.
i only wish you the very best miss cupcake, i don't think i will see you again in this incarnation.
the clusterfuck gets us all in the end but the nature of clusterfuck is they take themselves out, t's loose loose when you're in the clusterfuck.
2 comments:
It's sad when a friend is lost for whatever circumstances. But friends are mere strangers we know for but a short period of time and space.
Friends come and go, and it all depends on your response to their ways that determines how your life, this life is lived.
Sad to hear that you and Miss Cupcake didn't work out as you may have expected. But alas, it is for the better.
Truer words cannot be any more harsh than that. However, they are true and our disposable life, so to are those around us, just like items around us. We interact with each in a different way. Some interact back in their own little way. Some we have control over. Others, not. Some we can read and see what is about to come. Others, we have no clue.
Take heart in knowing that whatever you do, you must live with yourself, therefore you can only be true to one person. You.
pipsqeek
it cut me deep, we are connected at such a profound level, i know this girl so well, better than she knows herself and i am so sad.
Post a Comment