heavy rain falls, i'm cooped up inside but have to go for an important appointment, i'm wearing my berlin raincoat, a peak hat and multitude of scarves, a jumper and my hemp pants and trainers, it's cold and i'm feeling like a train crash but the appointment only comes around once a year and i can't miss it. i've never missed it.
so i drive over across the town, park in a side street, grab my bag and run for shelter. i buy some flowers in a cute shop, a bunch of different coloured chrysanthemums. i make my way under cover towards the office, i've had to park in a friends underground spot and so far managed to remain relatively dry but by the time i am inside the waiting room i'm drenched and peeling off the big heavy coat.
this is the office of my karmic broker, where i go through my karmic records for the year. my broker is a lovely lady, quite the glamorous little fox, always happy to see me and very welcoming, no, i have never slept with her but we share a certain erotic chemistry. she pours me a coffee from her swish new nescafe machine. she's wearing her high heels and a cute black skirt with a red cardigan and with her glasses on as she looks through my file i can't help but feel a slight pheromone activity.
'it's looking excellent this year mission, i think there's a massive increase in most areas, you have done very well.'
'good, it certainly feels that way.'
'yes i see you have one small area of deficit that i'm concerned about. it's cropped up in the last few months, kinda came at you at an angle, took you by surprise i think yet throughout the recent history it's what you have been magickally invoking.'
i nod my head and wait for her to continue.
'yes you have an area here from many life times previous, you seem to have problems with wounds from battles most of these have been resolved now but there's one illness from a times of plague. you were dying and passed without communicating something which lay in your heart. there is regret there.'
'ah that would make sense. but how do i negotiate that now.'
'you must meditate upon the nature of emotional communication.'
'im had a very difficult incarnation in that arena.'
'you must learn that illness applies on several levels, what manifests on a physical level is a symptom of something in a higher dimension.'
'yes i understand. i must come to terms with sickness, health and the nature this wound.'
'you have problems with your throat at the moment?'
i cough, 'yes. i have whooping cough and i have been throwing up a lot of blood.'
'then perhaps you need to look at the chakra, communication, this has always been a troublesome one for you but i think you need to really spend some time looking at a possible cause.'
'i think i know what it is.'
it's been at the back of my mind for a long time, maybe i just need to accept it.
'what stops you.' she challenges.
'a foolish thing called pride.'
we sit in silence, she smiles at me. then she hands me the file, she looks at me and i feel her scan, 'i think you are very close mission, very close.' she stands and bows, 'i will see you next year.'
'yes thank you, i'm very grateful.'
i leave and make my way back to the car, as i drive home the rain gets heavier. it's hear to stay for a while, nothing left to do but bunker down and wait.