in sickness and in health, right? those are the words that seem to be the words that traditionally unite people, so i'm very sick and suddenly out of the blue blessed with a visitation from ms mission who pops in with cat and computers. she's very lovely and despite weeks of absence and a strange feeling of finality to see her makes my heart melt, all pain dissolves and fade away and then returns as we delve into shamanic realms of emotional states and map the energies we create from our feedback loops. i'm hoping the process will take an hour but it consumes most of the day, and it's interesting to see how these patterns work. she and i undoubtedly connected on many levels, all influencing one another.
we begin to see and talk truths, it's deeply profound shadow work and she's brave enough to begin to see the energy at play here, a healing aspect that requires more work. i take her through some of the processes, dragging forth the truth which she offers with raw honesty. everything now becomes clarity.
ms mission is creating a karmic pattern, very common in people who have experienced what she has, unfortunately upon the innocent but it is a well-known pattern to those that know this work, thankfully my professional life serves me just as well as my shamanic. 
pulled back is the light of the greater perspective, the missing piece of the puzzle, the raison d'etre of her defensive mechanisms and why it all feels like hate towards me. history teaches us nothing, it's patterns teach us all. 
despite the dive into such rawness healing occurs, it is healthy, constructive and worthwhile. i see things from a new perspective. my strength returns.

look readers i am not dealing with any normal woman here, ms. mission is not just a girl or woman i happen to have fallen in love with, she is much more. she's my twin flame, a concept so bizarre even i can't quite grasp it, yet it makes perfect sense. her shadow side fights me all the way, like catching marlin i have to hang on tightly, reel her in towards truth slowly and carefully, with love.
she is super intelligent, creative, a business woman, a witch of considerable power, a brilliant mother with an incredible mind and the inner beauty that matches her outer beauty, yet she is complex and contradictory, she really is something else and despite all the fucking drama she brings i love her and respect her on many levels, she's my equal and when she is ready to roll we have great work to do.