time, that inescapable condition of life had me in its cage for a long time, i watched the tick move to the tock and every moment in between an eternity. desire had me in its grasp, and all i knew to be true was lost to the lie.

ms mission has always known this, incredible woman that she is, she knew it. saw it, understood it and had to deal with it. 

it must have been very hard for her but she has compassion and patience and inner strength. 

so we move towards the empty path, where nothing is promised and we indulge in a joint operation to let go of the recent void between us, the chasm that swallowed everything we are. independently we are powerful, together we are more. 

there is a force that has always kept us apart, a weird energy that we have struggled with as it sabotages us over months and months. 

at the moment it is impossible to say exactly what it's motives are, it has attacked me deeply by operating through ms. missions family and friends, and now it is making itself known upon physical reality. 

paintings fly from walls

crystals fly from pockets and snap into two

lights bend

technology stops working

the blinds above our head is marked by what could be sumerian cuniform or claw marks from an angry demon.

the worst of it is people speak through ms. missions family and friends and have me marked as a danger to her.

she must navigate this her own way, the only way but it has left me feeling very alienated and estranged. 

i've lost expectations, maybe loosing attachments now, maybe next i will acknowledge the truth of my situation.

i have daily practice to attend to.

i have healing to address.