the observer at the art gallery, appearances deceive, so i make my way through the exhibition semi-solo. i was kind of expecting this so it's not unfamiliar or surprising but vaguely boring and wasteful. 

i'm bewildered by the picasso's, wow, that guy left a mark but i also am very taken by arther boyds 'the mockers' which leaves a big impression upon me. it's very bosch-like.

later we talk, walls down, defenses down and it's productive, wholesome and real and i guess the truth slips out and my instincts are proved correct. 

we make a groovy night of it, she's amazing, i just drink her in but we push the envelope at badde mannors cafe when we order cake.

later in and out of sleep more conversations and truths and then the final revelation which i kinda suspected and have to finally acknowledge. 

tumultuous emotions, she's tormented, i'm spent. all i have left is some sort of inner peace i want to retain. i feel very much like that sad old king looking down upon chaos. 

i let it all go. a moment of knowing is better than not knowing for months and months.

then polarity girl flips again and i'm back in the mix. but she has confessed something to me which makes her feel lighter and me relieved. i have no idea whether we are moved forwards by this but it does feel better than before despite the anger and resentment she still demonstrates towards me. even she is bewildered by it.

i guess mostly because i interrupted her relationship with superman, but in all honesty, what was i meant to do? 

yeah, get back inside your box mission. that's not going to happen.

love disrupts, otherwise, it would make rom coms crap and poetry boring as batshit, love strikes when you least expect it, it's sending shockwaves and turbulence through families, friends, interested parties but at the end of the day, fuck them all. it concerns two people alone anyone else can fuck off. 

we have been through the eye of the needle, the worst part of it all is now behind us. 

i guess it's all in our hands now. 

mostly hers.