what's going on?
i'd have to make an intuitive guess here.
i'm not martin.
i never became a corporate puppet or a great financial success, all the years i was driven to becoming a lawyer or surgeon i just moved further into the arts, and further away from the idea of following all my peers, middle class jewish kids with no imagination or capacity to think about anything other than following their genetic program and fulfilling parental expectations buying flash cars, big homes, holidays to miami with their trophy wives, those idiots are now all having mental breakdown in psychiatric wards or lost everything in the GFC.
now i was no easy kid, i was a fucking individual from day one, never did anything that other kids did, never liked the same food, games, tv shows never followed the herd, i was a voracious reader who spent all my money on literature while other kids spent their pocket money on sweets and fireworks but skool finished me, i hated skool, what an abject nightmare, a soul crushing experience. i never learnt anything at skool except for english where my teacher said i had the skills to be a writer. one person in 8 years of edukation saw my potential and encouraged it. i should fucking sue the skool. having said that i left with great qualifications, it surprised everyone including me. however even now when they send me on courses at work and stuff i excel, people find it unnerving the discrepancy between what i look like, how i present and my intellect. i'd do the same, i don't blame them, everyone fears my physical appearance, but they fear me more when they find out i have a brain and it's loaded.
intellect is nothing, let me state, it's just the ability to juggle ideas and expand and contract informational systems, most of which have very little to do with anything real. people who can wank on about facts and figures are just another form of idiot, i actually think most intellectuals are wankers to eg. noam chomsky is just a jumped up trotsky trapped in memetic cages. the people i dig are not intellectuals, they are wise. lao tzu is my hero when it comes to brain power. you see an intellectual can make some intelligent statement and later another can come along and disprove it. for example stephen hawkings theory of black holes, once thought to be the absolute truth when it came to the science of black holes was disproven about 20 years later by leonard susskind. wisdom is forever baby,
anyways where was i, oh yeah the skool years, jesus i hated all that shit, it was mass production of the sausage meat mind.and man there were a bunch of sausages at my skool and that's just the teachers.
anyways i bucked the system all the way until i met my collage lecturer miss evans who said to me, 'mission you have to be in the system to beat it.'
see a wise woman.
anyways all i am saying is my star has a different orbit than martins, he judges me with his critical gaze and perceives me through his judgements, he creates a picture of me that fits his judgement, yet this is so far away from me it's abstractly absurd.
mum however has a mental illness.
now the strangest thing is 22 years ago in sydney where i started working i reached the pinnacle of the corporate ladder in my field founding the housing connection with anne louise, jo macdonnah and our management committee., i trained staff, had a team of 20 people working under me and at the height of my game quit. no family to witness that, no letters home writing to people to say 'i'm a fucking success' no blog announcements, why? because i know who i am and what i am worth. and that's all that counts.