i wake up very early, the sunlight streaming through the window has activated something in my brain, i jump out of bed and wander down the steps into the front garden where i sit and soak up the sun, it's beautiful, for the first time since i have been here i can see a hint of blue sky and a window of sun light that i bathe in. my body is nourished my bones absorbing it hungry, it's a moment of bliss.
a few years ago i learnt something called bone breathing, it's a technique that taoists use and mantak chai taught me, so i did a few minutes of bone breathing and channelled some energy through my body and into my bones, which have been aching with arthritic pain and rheumatism since arrival. my many accidents over the years where i have broken bones result in this incredible pain in damp climates. it's actually very bad here in the uk. i guess all the walking in the rain doesn't help. anyway bone breathing circulates some heat around and for the first time i relax, and feel myself dissolve.
jake and i make plans to go into the city, we are not sure what for but know we both need to get out of here. we will get a lift in with martin to the station as it's pretty un assessable by public transport and last time jake and i walked through the pummelling rain we were drenched, trekking through the wind and storm back to my parents house 10 ks away left us both truamatised and i was then refused when i wanted to wash them.
anyways we hang around waiting for martin to get organised, by the time we are ready it's pouring and hail begins to fall, heavy hail. anyway jake and i are determined to go exploring london and get away from here.
we do have a pleasant drive with martin despite the weather.
we ride the train into the city and get of at shorditch which jake says is a happening place, however it turns out shoreditch is a sort of dump with a few nice shops. after wandering along we ride the tube to the kings rd chelsea which is an old haunt of mine.
we start wandering along and discover the taschen shop. both of us get quite excited we both dig his work and philosophy of bringing good art publications to people for a reasonable price. inside i'm immediately struck by three books.
one is the massive volume of helmut newtons body of work, amazing man, amazing photographer. we look at the massive pages from the book that has it's own stand. it's just divine, any person who is interested in fashion photography would know helmuts work, almost fetish like yet more sensual than sexual more erotic than pornographic, we are both very impressed,
then my eyes catch another very large book called 'magic' which is a collection of art that promotes stage magicians though the ages, it is beautiful and something i would buy however the weight of this book would mean that flying it to sydney i would have no other baggage allowance. it was so heavy i needed help to get it from the shelve.
we are assisted by a lovely young girl who starts to show us her fave book 'moon fire' now this is amazing. it's a book that chronicles the flight of apollo 11 writen by norman mailer with accompanying photographs, now this girl is so passionate about this book it's really infectious and we all crowd around listening to her talk about it, i mention that i am a big norman mailer fan.
she shows us her fave photograph of some women making the hubble telescope, i've posted it here. if you look closly you can see their cigarettes and lunch. the hubble was put together by these women.



the assistant starts to tell us about the shop and some upcoming events, she invites us to a gathering in a few weeks, and she offers to assist ship the magick book to sydney if we are interested.
jake and i both agree the service in england is excellent, much better than australia where it feels like the customer is an intrusion.

a massive storm breaks out and we run to the satchi gallery and cruise around this amazing exhibition of contemporary indian art, we take some photographs and discuss some of the pieces, both very impressed. this is a fantastic gallery, really spacious and unafraid to exhibit contemporary art in all it's forms, provocative yet stimulating and free to enter.

we return home agreeing that we actually had a good time despite the rain, on the way discussing what we can do about the home front, i tell jakob that i'm uncertain if i can last the distance but i will try. i explain the situation is one where my own self worth is clashing with a sense of duty, a mission to attempt to heal this damage on some level and a financial situation i can't control. as soon as i get paid i'll be able to work out some options. i offer to take jake to paris for a week if i can do it, it's not something i really can afford as i still have to pay of my debts that funded this dumb trip but it seems like a necessary
and appropriate resolution to both our disappointment with an unloving fractured and emotionally crippled family environment.