last night we spoke about the male female polarities, my tantric cousin saying that men seek out their mother in a partner.
she made the statement that all men look for mother figures. almost everyone agreed, including two men at the table, martin and guy.
i stated categorically that this was not the case and that i never have and never will seek out any partner that presents as a mother figure, to which i was told that i cannot help do this as it is my imprinted nature.
'no in my case it's not true. all patterns and imprints can and should be broken and this should be the duty of all evolutionary creatures. as soon as i could i reformatted my hard drive, through nlp, through magick, psychedelics, through brain change and through my own meta programming.'
my mother looks horrified.
'i think you are very mistaken if you think all men are incapable of having some sort of control over their imprints.'
to my surprise martin agreed with me, talking about the use of nlp in business.
the conversation swung around to men fearing women and their power and again i said this is not strictly true although as a generalisation it is the case.
there are the faces of manifested female energy that is anger, force, ego and power and then there is the goddess. most women have no insight into their goddess nature and their power is untamed, uncontrolled and not really power at all but an energy that is destructive and undirected.
we talk about the kabbalistic meaning behind the story of adam and eve, the snake being a sexual symbol, the discussion moves around eve being the first archetype woman in the bible.
but despite my lack of religious affiliation and my loathing for religious institutions i know my stuff and i add to the group that eve was not the first woman in the creation myth. before eve god created another mate for adam, a woman called lillith and like all old testament stories originate from sumerian mythology where lillith is a succubus. in the old testament lillith is the serpent, the untamed female sexual energy that dominated adam. the hebrew texts being hijacked by the church this bit was edited and thrown out because women were not allowed to have such allusion to power of any sort let alone sexual.
there's a big discussion about men and women, power in relationships, most people have never heard of lillith but my aunt siona confirms that it is true.
my mother is silent during this discussion, she looks at me with her rage filled eyes and loathing, she does not know me one bit, she does not recognise me, she has no room to attack me or manoeuvre so she leaves.