strange histories filter through the conversations, snippets and fragments from the past, is this how history works, how can history be accurate.
there is a madness within my family, it’s particularly noticeable within the women, my fathers aunts and some of my cousins all present with fragmented personalities. the family is very susceptible to mental illness, my grandmother was a clairvoyant, my grandfather a magickian, both had released kundalini energy, my grandmother died of grief when her youngest child died, my grandfather owned a circus and gave his fortune away when he discovered the true nature of the universe. researching my family through it’s history leads to an obvious conclusion for me. something i have always known since before my magickal initiation.
my family originate from israel, what was israel many thousands of years ago, hey have been slaves to many empires, greeks, romans, christians and muslim, and since the destruction of what is known as the second temple, (the first was built by king solomon)
have been on the run. they fled portugal in the spanish inquisition and attempted to make their way back to israel but we have always been really bad sailors and they were shipwrecked of the coast of india where they stayed for many generations, forgetting their traditions and religion except for lighting the candles on friday. then they were discovered on the coast of goa where there is a memorial to the survivors of the shipwreck and reconnected with their roots. many of my ancestors returned to israel but my parents went to england something i can’t really forgive them for, i mean after being able to chose any place on the globe why england, but they had been touched by living in british india, the culture had seduced them, all those educated fuck-wits in their colonial hats and smoking jackets held them in a glamour. so they ended up in london, my father living in a bombed out building with a pet rat that he shared his rations with and my mother living with her parents in a big old house in wimbledon. they met in london at a dance and thus i manifested.
researching into my family here amongst everyone who has the history i discover that genetic testing conducted by the universities is trying to establish the twelve tribes who left israel in the past and formed communities elsewhere. the university published it’s results saying that the jews that went to india are the descendants of the high priests from the temples. first and second.
so here it is.
my heritage is that of high priest, which would explain my fascination for the esoteric why i found the magickal path so easy to follow and understand, it’s in my blood.
my grandfather knew this and towards the end of his life followed his truth, after he died he appeared to me on an astral level and passed on this knowledge as i have written about in earlier posts. he has appeared to many of my cousins but they have not had a framework to understand the significance of the symbols. symbolic reality is about as close as we can get to the true nature of what reality is. language as william burroughs pointed out is a virus and memes are are a virus.
so here i am with the proof.
old captain mission is a descendant of the high priest lineage.
excellent. my ego is pleased.
but i must return to my cousins, and aunts who have all suffered from the mental illness that seems to have afflicted them. i know why and how this has happened and i feel a duty to heal it. it is due to the massive kundalini shift that would occur in times of crisis or stress. any esoteric teacher would acknowledge how powerful this is and how dangerous it can be, this is why asylums are filled with religious nuts. the religious, mystic and spiritual traditions are swarming with basket cases because the people that seem to follow this path have one basic glitch in their system, the ego.
throughout this blog i have written about many of my teachers who mapped the magickal frame work for me, these are brave souls, explorers of consciousness who act as sages yet described in histories footnotes as the most dangerous men alive. each one of these people went through a process which is called, in a magickal frame work, battling with the demon choronzon. this entity is a phycological state, a state where the ego plays it’s final trick, it’s ace. this is where madness lives.
for the explorer of consciousness there is no escape one must pass through these gates, but there is a 99% chance one does not pass out intact. this is also the chapel perilous.
if genetically my family have links to high priest and priestess dna then this genetic program will awaken within them but without the map to navigate it it’s akin to schizophrenia or addiction within the genes, any environmental stress triggers the activation of these genetic predispositions and lets face it, what’s life but a busload of stress.