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 all week i have been procrastinating about my one single task, to clear out my garage. it's been there waiting for me for the last two weeks but i have constantly come up with various excuses to myself. 
it's raining, it's to dark, its full of spiders and snakes, not enough time, after lunch, after work, after checking e mails, after reading, an endless array of pathetic excuses. well this morning i awoke to a beautiful day and considered my responsibility. i did my laundry, had a coffee and then threw myself into the task.
3 hours non stop, heads down mindless sorting out the good the bad and the ugly it's done. i was ruthless, threw out a lot of sentimental stuff but discovered some interesting items, a deck of divination cards i designed years ago, a strange deck indeed as the goal is to discover the question not the answer. it's quite unique and sophisticated and surprisingly accurate. i also discovered some old photographs of jake, a marriage cert and some photo's of my travels through foreign lands. i found occult notebooks, out of print rare novels and some strange artefacts from previous lives. i basically ended u throwing most things out, one thing i did find was the battery charger i was looking for that powers my garden tools. now i'm going to catch some sun and chill out, i feel like i deserve it.

33 years after the fatwa, some lunatic gets rushdie in new york with a knife, all because he wrote a fiction book some religious nutcase didn't like. stone age mentality ruled back then and it's even worse now as we slide into quasi intellectual contextualisation of stone age ideas dressed up with new terminology,  the abuse of children, the forced medication of society, the polarisation between left and right, the isms, the weaponisation of the institutions, the dumbing down of education, the rise of mediocracy and blandness, the war against the individual. the rushdie was a landmark in my life, i left europe hoping to find a more libertarian society back then and for a few decades i did, australia was the promised land. but slowly it crept in, the rise of socialism, cultural marxism, the hypocrisy of the green economy, the big govt. surveillance, the war against their own people, it all infiltrated paradise. those moronic united nations, the corrupt who, the manipulative world economic forum, our masters want your money, they want your body and now your soul. 

the rushdie affair was a huge turning point in my life as it should be for anyone who values the pursuit of freedom. all i can think about today is the end of the west. i've come full cycle.

  

captain mission

 

my joint has burnt out low, i'm sitting in a strange capsule of light, empty sensations of pre birth and death, maybe a slight breeze. some people know many words to describe different types of winds, trade winds, westerlies, polar, monsoon, land and sea winds, mountain and valley winds and various local winds, then there's derivatives. i imagine cultures would have even more intricate descriptions and names for various winds just like the ice cultures have 50 words for snow, and the sanskrit cultures have hundreds of words for consciousness. 

i'm stoned, in the breeze. 

listening to some weird sounds from the late 70's, it's side two of heroes with it's bleak kind of mourning wail sandwiched between two funky tunes. i like emotive music, almost shamanic in some sort of western tradition of dereliction of duty to a good history, post war blues. the aftermath on a psychological level, as it drifts through culture, loss, dejection, rubble and shame. it's rare that music can capture a tragedy, it's audacious to put it between two dance tracks. 

a big day looms, date with a beautiful witch, although neither one of us has actually called it a date. maybe it's just lunch i don't know but i'm excited and looking forwards to seeing her. i can't write much about her as she's just popped into existence in captain mission's universe but she has always been out there, hovering in deep darkest peru, drinking ayahuscia and learning her craft. born in arnhem land, with viking heritage. she looks like a warrior, has the eyes of a wolf, she's got the face of a queen and the mind of an octopus. i connected straight away, we share so many things and yet she is so very different. i imagine our paths have crossed before, i feel it but i can't work out how yet, some deep past life stuff going on there. 

anyway, hornsby is not the most romantic spot and to be honest i would have preferred the city or terrigal but i have to adapt to the situation. 

i hual ass down the freeway, i'm tuning into radio tnt which i have to say is a 24 hours radio station i like, it smashes through all known bullshit and has interesting guests. i don't nessesserlily agree with everything but i like they present a different perspective, and one i am aligned to these days. makes me feel a bit saner that i know there are other people out there who know exactly what's going on and are not beguiled by the mediocracy of fluffy trends that are as much virtue signalling as they are theft. anyways, i move down the freeway cutting it close to the deadline, parking as usual a challenge but my pixie parking assistant gets me a prime spot where i literally walk to the rendezvous point dead on time. 

an arm reaches out, a hug and we are away.

ah thoth priestess and danu, her wolf like aura brings light to an otherwise dreary day. 

halfway through the magnificent series stephen donaldson has written after crossing from fantasy into science fiction the man writes something as magnificent as anything banks, reynolds, hamilton or any contemporary writer has produced. it really is brutal, the characters are so well written, you start by loving them and then hating them or vice versa, the universe he creates is rich and the story has pace. i'm really enjoying the quality or detail, the style and the personalities. it's the ring cycle, set in space. 

dinner with nic but i'm fading fast, she's back from melbourne and talking stuff that i can't quite seem to grasp, it's politics, personalities and people and all i want to do is sleep but they bring us delicious food and i struggle to find the energy to speak as i cram some plum sauce down me.  i'm tired and need to sleep, late nights and strange days, burning candles at both ends i am beginning to fade out. we end up in the big bottle shop discussing our drinking preferences, she's more wine and whiskey whereas i personally prefer something more exotic. i end up with some high quality  rum from trinidad, the captains winter drink. 

we move into calm waters, i hang out down the beach at dawn, listening to wave forms breaking from fractal structures, the immense ocean calm at my feet. the sky pristine and clear, the tranquility blue washes through my hair, now long and shoulder length, my amnesiac past long put to rest in these moments of pure joy. i wander along, smiling at the random collection of girls who pass me by, heading towards my coffee shop, the surfer one where the surfer boys hang out brown skinned and filled with talk about trips overseas, exploring waves and riding big ones. 

later i pop in at buddha cafe to talk plants with some moon type girl, we discuss the wonders of the moon plants, she has a nice face, a moon in itself. 

back home i do some pottering around in the garden, i'm blasting kilbey and kennedy, 'glow and fade' an album that seemed to have passed me by. it's catch up time as i play it endlessly on repeat. magnificent vast sound. all i have to do is clear out my garage, lots of junk, lots of lost stuff that needs finding, maybe today, maybe another day.

in combination
two or more forces unite
union
synergy and collaboration 

deep connection, new networks

spiral in

spiral out

new sensations 

pentangles entangled

vast halo

entropy reversed

in fusion

potent vibration 

signal

not noise

the centre will hold

vortex in

vortex out

intuitive and clear

the message is the medium

prophecy foretold

the electron is one

 

well what ya know, a jo calls me up. it's bizzare as i just popped in my car and attempted to call her via blutooth and my car gave me an option of three different jo's. my phone actually has just under ten various jo's but the car always gives me three choices and this time all three were incorrect jo's. so almost instantly i get a text message from the jo i am attempting to call and i don't even bother to read it, i just hit the green ring button. it's witchcraft at its best. we chat until the midnight hour, five hours of finding out what we need to. it's a great conversation and now i am looking forwards to reconnecting with her sometime soon. 
my time is somewhat scarce as i am involved in a number of things with various people, and despite having days off i have them filled but i figure i'll drop whatever i am doing and spend the day/ night getting familiar with this extraodianare woman.

i find it hard to sleep, energy overload so i am awake at dawn, down at the beach watching the sunrise. i grab a coffee and exchange a few friendly words with some random people, suddenly people wanna know me. it's so weird how that happens. i walk to a deserted spot and sit down with my book, it's the second novel in the 'gap sequence' by stephen donaldson, his foray into sci- fi after writing the incredible fantasy series, 'the chronicals of thomas covennat'.

i never read the chornicles but if they are anything as good as the gap sequence i will read them. the first novel is the set up, introducing the three main charachters and the backdrop of space they are in. it's really good, well written and brutal as fuck which was so unexpected. the second novel takes the story further and deeper and introduces s to an alien species. these are really great novels, the quality of writing is fantastic and impressive but it's the story that pumps alnong. i'm really enjoying them. i plough through four chapters before my morning appointment and then head down the highway to work. it's a beautiful day. the soundtrack is groove armarda, it follows me around like a warm breeze.

in the twilight hours i kicked back with my hash and frangelli- go go drink i've taken to, it's an old monsastic liqueur made by monks when they went all nuts. the recipe was passed down to me by a wayward vixen whose lineage goes back to the very area where these monks inhabited. they were cut off from the world in their shrine built high in mountain areas, no one could access the castle without a dangerous climb and once ascended there was no return. 

anyways i cracked open a bottle from the cellars. poured it into a frozen glass with some soda lime and kicked back to listen to some groove armada and watch some netflix, later i cranked up the skype- o- matic and chatted to tez and jean who were beaming in from their spaceship. we had a good laugh but i started to get cold and needed to find my own sanctuary. the ice weather is something i can't deal with, it really freaks me out.  

dense bass throb of the space engine as we hurdle through time and space, another instalment in the strange adventures of captain mission. you don't have to hold tight but it's advisable, many have gone spiralling out of control at the total weirdness and strangeness i exist within.  yes there have been casualties.  often the spiritually weak, the glamor agents, the egocentric and the stagnated neural network inside that refuses to embrace the chaos of the simulation generator. 
old captain mission now stripped down to lean, mean fighting and loving machine sets the controls for the art of the sun and the heart of the moon. carrying with him the asto-body of lost civilizations, ancient knowledge, forbidden arts,  a momintroll coffee mug and an endless supply of organic high grade weed, planet earths greatest undervalued resource.  

i'm moving fast these days, zipping and zagging (i like zagging) like a sliver surfer riding the cosmic waves and embracing power cosmic. yeah get out the way, climb on board or get of my cloud. 
that throb is the greatest sound in the universe, it's so hard to find, it's often found in steve kilbeys base, sometimes in the breaking waves at the ocean and sometimes you can catch it in the nightscapes but captain mission is in tune, switched all the way up like a mecaline god, riding the face of explosion, the face of the big bang. hang on, it's a wild ride, all the way, from the middle to the edges, there are no limits anymore. it's just bliss. 

these are my micro dosing days, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, sometimes less is more, right?

i'm moving in a new direction, more sociable, more extraverted, carrying my enigma like a californian state trooper rides his bike, running with the werewolves, a gothic poet with an paradox attitude, a little roll and less rock, a mighty sumatran tiger showing his teeth while purring like a cat, i'm el hombre visible, a beatnik in wonderland. how you spell new york mission?
'with a knife, a fork, a bottle and cork, that's the way you spell new york, right on.

man o man i gotta be on the run cos i gotta meet that setting sun.'
 

soon more work will commence at mission control, more construction as my garage is transformed. it may take a while but slowly i will have all the space i require. i speak to the afghan builders who are excited about the project, i explain my design. a huge clearence and clean out, removal of unwanted junk, new wooden flooring, a big glass sliding door, new windows, new walls and ceiling with flush led lighting, a massive wall of shelving and one of bookcases, complete waterproofing and a small storage area for my garden tools and car accessories. 

start as soon as it stops raining is the plan, we need a dry area. things will get very messy. my concern is access as parking will become tricky.

my front garden will be transformed, already my fishpond is now completely landscaped and most of the surrounding vegitation has been cleared away, giving exposure to the whole pond. it's a huge make over and long overdue. i'm so motivated now, nothing can stop me.

i'm encircled by jo's, lots of them, all witches, closing in, or out. it's hard to tell sometimes, they move on strange currents and it's hard to keep up with diserning one from the other, it could be a coven of jo's all beguling me, bewildering me with soft female witchy type ways, enchanting the only man left standing. 
they come in all sorts of various guises, all the same woman, all the same name at a root connection. jo.

the jo jujju does its stuff, i'm in a haze of soft feminine power, although some has a harder edge. my sence of disipline weakens. 

i assess my position in time and space, full moon, a huge great big one, the big one is immenent, i'm manifesting a coven where i really only want one. i met her a few nights ago and she is my favorite witch, soft yet strong, immaculate face of nordic beauty, eyes like a wolf, teeth like cold perfect glaciers. the air that breezes out from her mouth is cool and pristine. i don't know how that happens, but it happens. a meeting of minds, she has an impressive one. she's my witch, intuition knows best, but am i her wizard. things start promising and fade out fast.

and what seems like years was days, what could have been a lifetime passes like an eon, but they remain. no longer on pheripheries but closer, more powerful and things then get surreal when an old friend from switzerland now living in new zealand contacts me after 25 years and proclaims she is a witch. more about her later, but there's only one jo for me and she disappaites into the ether, a shadow amongst shadows. 'but you are my favourite witch,' i cry to the radient full moon, and then i remember magick and love, so i must wait for love in the magickal realms, wait for love to find me. wait for my favourite witch.

drive towards the past, i'm in cruise control as the day turns to evening shades of crimson, a sinking sun glowing out, proclomation of better times. i feel good, in harmony, i feel positive and alive. there's nothing on the radio, no talking heads, speaking tonuges, no speech decay, no distraction except life. all is good i think as i turn of the freeway hand head towards the water. by the time i arrive it's dark, and slightly cold. i have a fur lined jumper to keep me warm as i park my car a few meters away from the house.
it's been almost a year since i saw her, and the invte to her 40th was a pleasant surprise. i knew she would be surprised by the fact i turned up.these days it's rare for me to venture out just to socialise. the last thing i seek is a party. 

as i walk in the door i'm greeted by two gilrs, jo and jodie. both really lovely. immediatly i feel happy as we sit and discuss how we know mutual friends. the old friends are there, the avalon cats. of course we all moved away now and this type of reunion is almost impossible but here it is, getting more and more stranger as the night progresses.

jo is a witch, a pagan, a woman with an aborigional history on one side and viking on the other. she wears some incredible tattoos, really sexy and unique. jodie is similar, not a witch but great company and has that mischivious glint in her eye. i know we are going to be friends. suddenly a caterer arrives and the food starts to appear, it's incredible and showcased in an elaborate display of art house presentation.

a girl from brazil tells me about the time her and her girlfriend saw prince live. they had both dropped acid and were wearing feathers. obvioulsy dancing their asses off but in melboune they had a seating only policy and soon found themselves surrounded by police and security. the girls were nervous about getting ejected and or being found with vast quantities of drugs and under the influence. they were marched out.

but they were then taken into a section of the venue right down the front and allowed to enter. it was a closed of area where no one could access but they were allowed to, right under prince at the very front of the stage. they danced hard, and were invited to the infamous after show, where prince plays another three hours with his band in a tiny club. i tell her that's a brilliant story and i would wear feathers and drop acid to see prince, we laugh. yeah it's that kind of party, most people are on drugs anyway, me i'm totally straight. a cocktail maker appears, he's making expresso martinis and i have one, it's amazing. just what i need. the music kicks in, funky and punky, from issac hayes to pil. i'm digging it all.

jodie and i make a pact, we will meet up later when everyone has gone and make tea, eat the leftovers and watch stranger things. jo the witch is telling me about her ayahuscia experinces in the puruvian jungle. she knows her stuff, she is the real deal. we talk a little about past lives, and make a pact to catch up when she comes up the coast. 

then ziggy arrives, he's looking great, i have known him for many years since he was a skool kid. i was very good friends with his mum. madame lash. who as chance would have it arrives soon after.

lash and i go back a long way and she literally beams out when she sees me.

i fetch her some food and a drink and sit down for a catch up chat, what, it's been 10 years at least!

we talk about drugs, 5d painting, when we ran the transdimentional political party, when we knew firebrace, she tells me his son is now a massive pop star. we talk about the kirk, we talk hellfire, we talk about some of the wildest parties ever, we talk about painting, writing and books. it's fantastic.

minty and her husband pat join us, minty and i share some wild times and it's really good to see her.

later when i leave she says, 'hey, i love you.'

and the birthday girl, in the naughty corner, everyones high on something, i look at the night, the cold is slightly refreshing. for the first time in years, the warmth of people feels good, everyone in the room shares a uncommon commection, we know one another or we know of one another.

at about 3am i say my goodbyes, there's a lot of hugging, emotional goodbyes. i drive back cutting through the soft night with it's clear skies, the stars guide me all the way home. it's beautiful.

biblical rain and floods, dark clouds and dampness everywhere, it could be amsterdam or london in winter, it's so cold and miserable nowhere is safe from a waterlogged future. i take the boat across the river at the back of my garden, the watermark has never been so high. the opaque surface reveals nothing, occasionally i hear a splash or see bubbles break the surface. 

it's pummelling down, wind howling and the elemental spirit of an ancient air spirit angered to reek havoc upon the small town. 

the motor makes a thumping sound, vision is not good as heavy rain falls and filters everything. 
under the bridge there is a moments respite. 

and then mysteriously as i emerge from the protection of the bridge, sunshine. 

i am in a different day.

what's happened to me?
work has lost it's meaning. i literally resent my time there now. the company is just a nasty awful manager heavy sleek money machine that operates from plush glass hi tech offices on the northern beaches and lets it's clients live in leaking old homes that fall apart. there is no joy left in my work, just endless communication issues as various african, indian middle eastern people struggle with basic english. the simplest thing now takes half a day, because communication skills are deficit.  it's an awful feeling watching an industry you are passionate about turn into the blandest institutionalised service that basically pretends it's cutting edge. 
anyway fortunately work is no longer my life. i don't have to spend much time there anymore. lets say it pays the mortgage. 

recently i feel 'her' my twin, it's intense and awful as sometimes i want to pick up the phone and say hello, but to do that would just be far to pointless, a woman who is so vain and sociopathic will lead to no joy or peace, just the dumb drama she creates.

i fight the urge and end up meeting some friends in the city, we wander through our fave spots, i end up in a polish tee shirt shop buying a really hp lovecraft inspired design, and my friend buys a dragon. later i realise how expensive the items were but i guess the design is exceptional and i do need new tee shirts.

the shop specialises in tattoo artists from poland who design for tee shirts but only very limited editions so there are only about 100 printed. the quality is excellent although i have to cut the sleeves off.

i end up in spice alley, it's amazing, vibrant and colourful, filled to the brim with people and the smell of street food is almost a meal itself. i love this place as we weave through the restaurants and colours, as we split up to find our sources, wow eating should be an experience. i like asian culture, it feels natural to me, the food is energy dense, the steam, heat, the colour and freshness. everyone looks happy, it's an orgy of food. 

 

since my return it has been hectic, but in a good productive sort of way. i've achieved a few things around the house, set the garden furniture up so i can now enjoy an al fresco breakfast and write from the luxury of my new outdoor office space, perfecto. 
secondly my garden has been hacked back, the jungle now trimmed down to a minimum, encouraging growth for spring. it looks amazing, and i am also prepping the indoor plants for spring planting, new pots, new plants. if i can just find a good self watering system!
i've thrown out a hell of a lot of stuff, papers and junk i kept on to, it feels much more lighter inside, the books are a problem but as soon as i can adapt the space in the garage i will have storage space, another room. 

yesterday i helped tina move house, she's up from melbourne and needed a hand, so in my enthusiasm i offered. i almost regretted it as it was extremely physical but i enjoyed the exercise and met her new employers who are setting up an organic spice warehouse. they were amazing, and i now have a great organic spice contact. tina drove me home at about 11pm so i was well fucked.

the mornings i spend walking up to the lookout, it's a punishing walk and i'm usually outta breathe at the peak but the view is magnificent and the whales are swimming north. you can see them, it's wonderful. by then the sun had risen and i'm ready for my coffee. 

slowly i get there, step at a time, my new life looks brilliant.

i spend a few days reacclimatising, it's so cold at night i'm in bed early and wake up at dawn.  the birds are there to greet me, it's a good time for me to check e mails, make coffee and put some laundry on. i've had so much to do around the house, gardening, de-cluttering and generally getting rid of a lot of junk i no longer need. i'm highly motivated at the moment, i even do my work outs and stretching. i tend to walk around the block, looking at the wonderful gardens, down by the little river at the back of my house. i'm reading a bit, finished alastair reynolds, 'inhibitor phase' just before i left the uk, and now i am enjoying, 'how to kill your family,' a very well written english novel by a lady called, bella mackie.

inhibitor pahse continues where absolution gap left us, although it is a stand alone novel it makes sense to read the sequence in order. this is the best sci fi writer around in my opinion so i loved it, but want more. no one writes science fiction like alastair. 

'kill' is a very dark, funny and cleverly written story, filled with wry observations and a relentless plot that keep you on your toes, it's perfect for an airplane journey. i really loved the main character, she is the perfect anti hero, i just hope she makes it. i'm halfway through and try to read a chunk each day.