my soft dream of being in a pillow fight with a bunch of young barely legal girls is hijacked when out from the falling feathers miss cupcake marches, the scene changes to some sort of new york school of preforming arts and we are in a class where keys are being moulded into different shapes and ours are not unlike certain marital aids, i am angry, where did my fantasy go, miss cupcake is all cheerful knowing fully well she has sabotaged my dream. i think i am about to shout at her where we are dragged into the building where a party is in full swing. bands play, people pull us separate ways, there's high ceilings, bridges and strange italian architecture everywhere, moats, turrets and baroque looking structures. people are all in good moods, laughing, singing, shouting out in merriment, i attempt to leave, it's becoming the kind of thing i dislike, but cupcake is gone. so i wander out into new york, still angry that my dream changed and its more hers than mine. damm! i'm thinking she even disturbs my own private dreams. and then there she is running after me, with her key shaped marital aid in her hand. i'm happy to see her and i wake up as we disappear into the new york morning, but i'm also disturbed by her infiltration.
i go swimming, i walk the dog, i head down to meet my dealer, i end up swapping stories with her, i drink a coffee, read some news and start my dion fortuna and alister crowley book, and im immediately blown away by her. she is indeed the missing part of my puzzle, all the gaps are being filled, samantha mayfair i knew you were some sort of avitar type personality but you have no idea how much this means for me. i know crowleys limitations, he was a man. he was destined to fail, but fortuna, fortuna is the bees knees. thank you.
so head emerged in book i miss all the usual things i should be doing,. writing letters, paying bills, catching up with people, nope, i am emerged into her world now. i need her, it's exactly what i've been waiting for.