i was watching a documentary on tv about the chinese control of the internet, they were explaining how a lot of internet sites, google and yahoo are in league with the chinese authorities and censoring content, but worse also dobbing in anyone that posts any thing controversial on their sites. a young journalist was sent to jail for 10 years after being tracked down because yahoo gave the govt his details.
The not so great Fire Wall of China.

I'm reading some magazines my friend Larrisa gave me, they are called, WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT and despite the cheesy title are fantastic, plenty of grunge to actually make them very interesting. I really enjoyed some of the topics and the mature and realistic way they were discussed.

I'm also halfway through 2012 which is heading into an interesting direction, it's much more complex than 'Head' but not as intersesting as i think Pinchbeck is grabbing all the 'weird fringe stuff' he can find and throwing it into the mix. But there's also a very personal element to the book, and i'm enjoying some of the more scientific elements. Particularly the crop circle bit. On closer inspection these blades of grass have been fused from the inside out. There is no technology that exists that can do this.

ANAMNESIS - remembering what the soul already knows

2012 daniel pinchbeck looks at the maya approach to conscious evolution by extrapolating from various sources, as well as the authors own ideas and history, its very interesting, especially the parts about mackenna and his experiences with stropharia cubensis a hallucengenic mushroom tat is facsilitating the rise in consciousness as an interface between dimensions. lots of stuff about crop circles, did you know there is absolutely no way that any human could have made some of the more complex ones, plus there's crop circles that contain elucidian maths that has not even been discovered yet. each circle becomes more and more complex, and hidden in their symmetary is the date 2020. Exactly the same as the mayan calander.

ancient tibet was a warlike and aggressive nation, well practiced cruelty and almost spartan warfare against the, wait for it...chinese led to the taking f the chinese capital and the demands of the esoteric chinese classics, such as The Book Of History and The Book Of Rites.
By the time China invaded Tibet it had held the doctrine of non violence for many centuries.
The change was brought about from a man called Chenresig. An enlightened one whose sole purpose is the salvation of all living creatures. Chenresig incarnated to become the current Dali Lama.
So fast forwards 2500 years and currently we see China as the oppressor.
It's strange how the ebb and flow of time changes everything, history is forgotten, in the old days there were no protesters against the Tibetans, now it is fashionable to knock the chinese. I am guilty of this.
I guess conciousness is changing, we are aware via, media, via our own personal evolution, we make judgments about who is right and who is wrong, we use morality to justify everything, yet we are always ignorant about the anticedents and we always chose sides.
The Yoga Vissatta says, 'it is maya' and recommends we pay it no attension. But how are we to be compassionate when we see such things occur. The answer is in seeing through the things, see through the events, the politics and the beliefs.
I have been reading a discussion between ken wilbur and some dude where they both agree that within spirituality there has to be
war, it is only through challenging evil and it's political manifestations that we can stop it growing. God they say is not a pacifist.
I have no idea if god is a pacifist, as far as i know he's not really that amused at anything we do but i do know there are some things worth fighting for.
My take on warfare is the only battle worth fighting is the one within.

just finished reading 'absurdistan' very very funny. possibly contains one of the funniest lines i ever read, 'It's a capital insult in this country not to make love to a naked woman, even if she is related to you.'
quite brilliant evocation of the current political landscape, it's almost catch 22. there were moments of great sadness but generally its very funny and quite close to the paradox of the truth.

as the anniversary of my brain injury approach's i am filled with sadness and thoughts of the times i had with meredith, i loved her very much but common sense dictates that i will never see her again, she is lost in her madness and i am lost for her.
she inhabits my dreams, the back of my mind, she is there floating around, her face, her teeth her body and soul.
i really need some form of help, i need to move through her, painlessly, effortlessly, instead her ghost is clinging and scratching away at my flesh, until i bleed.

from 'rebels and devils' dr. hyatt
Way back in 1952 Robert Lindner a clinical psychologist with strong psychoanalytical background boldly suggested that rebellion was instinctive and was the quintessence of the creative personality. However for Linder creativity comes from separating oneself from the collective and the will of the masses. The prime purpose of society is to bend the will of the individual to the will of the majority, to become as others are to accept the illusions of the mass. He saw rebellion as important as the sex instinct for the survival of the species for without rebellion nothing new arises.
In clinical terms this means rebellion is healthy and normal requiring neither treatment or imprisonment.

At the time this did not fit well with the conservative and social mentalities of that decade, nor does it today.

Adjustment is practiced by a number of professions and most of the middle class. Linder at the time predicted that in time the psychology would become handmaidens of the state and big business, losing its meaning for those that need it. Both institutions would begin to believe that psychology had more to offer than it did.
Linder also went on to write that in order for humanity to reach potential it had to overcome, the triad of gravity, ignorance and mortality, something that tim leary also asserted throughout his work.
(unfortunately leary is only remembered for his lsd experiments therefore most of his work goes unnoticed)
linder went onwards to say that anything- thought or deed- which enables man to break these limits is intrinsically good: while anything that prevents him is bad. he also saw normal existence as a cage and normal human behavior as bordering on the pathological. worse he suggests that restriction and moral inhibition as practiced ten, and now, as inherently evil.
Of course this does not mean that people can do what they want in the same way 'do what thou wilt' does not.
Society's cure means surrendering mind and body thus happiness is a modern pact with the devil meaning the individual surrender individuality for a promised peace.

sporadic data, random fictions, i've discovered proust, not going to read him but i've certainly been persuaded by some interesting people to explore his universe and yes, this was a man who could indeed travel through time and possibly had high levels of dmt in his pineal.
another endless source of enjoyment and knowledge is cliff pickover and his book 'einstein, elves and drugs' fascinating hyper reality style of writing and some great information.

last friday i traveled to kograh in south sydney where 'adventures' was polished off, i was there to rehearse with val and listen to the mastered copy for the first time.
I also saw a ghost. the studio backs on to a morgue. val has often spoken about seeing spirits wandering around, looking somewhat lost and confused, he said that at first he was scared but has learnt that these entities are often just as freaked out as he was, now he understands they just need guidance and orientation.
The shape i saw was tall and dark and it glided along into the room we were in, i mistook it for val who appeared from a different room, suddenly i had to do a quick reality check. val took me outside to show me that the lights from the mortuary were switched on indication some one had recently died.

sometimes i find myself in seven places at once pulled by invisible forces and sometimes with human faces, jealousy, need, greed, control, love, gravity, loneliness, isolation, these strange things directing me like an electrical current, sometimes i follow my head, sometimes my heart, sometimes i follow my insticts and intuition and sometimes i just follow the flow.
what is the flow if not chaos, where does it take us if not where we have to go. let it flow through you, let empty your mind, let it push you in and out, till your not even there, its madness but truth, like the blazing poets eyes, like the musician heart on fire, passion burns but it also yearns. i would die for love, becuase love has no fear, love disolves boundries, it is a great force, the fifth element, the extra elephant, the only element in alchemical essence. love is way cool baby, love is a drug, love is the way, love is the message, love is the answer, all you need is love.

It’s rare to see a band or musician play live and totally expose themselves to their audience, the ego drops, the naked self, the guitar and voice, the stories and tales all conclude in that self deprecating humor, the hecklers, the regrets of a life in the industry, the stories of peers, the highs and lows, the backing band who you rehearsed with for an hour somehow magically all pulling through and sounding as though they had been playing forever together, the wit and banter, the sadness and insecurity, the genius that is really still unrecognized and the human face behind one of the most enigmatic figures, raw and exposed, vunerable and brave enough to just shine for being human. That was steve kilbey last night at his dvd launch at the lovely Vanguard in Newtown.
A set list that was equally covers as his own work and sounding quite different from the dvd itself, there were moments where the band just were in the zone, one inch rock, keeper, what’s a sweetheart like you and the track from GB3 were amazing but steve was was also enjoying telling us the tales of a life in rock and roll, he was far removed from the glitz and glamour and perfection that most rock legends attempt to be in. This was connection with the audience that was so connected most people would find it, maybe to honest. There were moments where people were confronted by the contrasting persona to the usual detached church frontman yet in essence it was the most refreshing show I’ve seen of steves and the crowd were very supportive, for a Sydney crowd.
I had the pleasure of meeting the lovely nic, Steves’ wife and catching up with glen who filmed some of the show. Fantastic evening, can’t wait for the next one.
the highlight for me was the part where steve told us he was going on the tv show rock quiz and was specializing in rock stars real names and challenged the audience to test his skill, i yelled out brian eno and he nailed it, in fact he nailed them all, except one.
And there was a fantastic bit where steve told a story about Julian Cope that was quite amazing. Thanks Steve, glorious night.

over the last few days the weather and surf conditions have been perfect for surfing, so i have been taking my trusty old fin to the beach for about 6 hours a day of surfing which is now becoming a yoga technique in itself. i've been thinking about writing a small book for people who use fins based upon my experience, yoga techniques, meditations and visualizations and various scientific theory.
im formulating a kinda simple book with many practical exercise's people can use, nothing to weighty and keeping everything kinda light.

other news is i am totally relaxed at peace and chilled out, i've been working on my throat charkra and focusing on getting the web site finished. should be online soon.
i've got my new computer up and running, just need to get the kaoss pad out and hook up the software, i also have to develop my ideas about the kinda sound i want in 'esoterotica.'
the idea being less is more, i want a vibration for each song. well time will tell.
adventures is almost ready to rock, i think i'm ready to start rehearsals, and committed to the songs more than i felt i was.

i've been hanging out in govindahs, my fave place in sydney after dark, what amazing food. i'm drawn to the picture of krishna in all his forms, towering above arjuna and in blue, wow its so molecular.

The Bees Who Flew Too High
March 29th, 2007 | Category: solar
Honeybees and Sunspots may be interacting in one of the most unwatched ballets since television was created. Metaphorically speaking of course:

Imagine an aquarium containing a fish. Imagine also that you are unable to see the aquarium directly and your knowledge about it and what it contains comes from two television cameras, one directed at the aquarium’s front and the other directed at its side. As you stare at the two television monitors, you might assume that the fish on each of the screens are separate entities. After all, because the cameras are set at different angles, each of the images will be slightly different. But as you continue to watch the two fishes, you will eventually become aware that there is a certain relationship between them. When one turns, the other also makes a slightly different but corresponding turn; when one faces the front, the other always faces toward the side. If you remain unaware of the full scope of the situation, you might even conclude that the fish must be instantaneously communicating with one another, but this is clearly not the case.

If there are processes in this universe of which we are unaware of the full scope, perhaps the only way to observe them is using the multi-camera metaphor. In this ballet - which has the tragedy of the prospect of agricultural collapse, the triumph of the idea of biological interaction with quantum processes, and the drama of far away forces dancing within our presences - we can become part of the dance as we expertly shift our camera views like an experienced television producer. In the process, a mystery may be solved, one making many of us (and perhaps not enough of us) nervous lately.

Camera One: Honeybees

The first reports began in November of bees mysteriously disappearing. Not just one or two, but entire colonies of tens of thousands of bees at a time. As temperatures have warmed and it has become safe to open hives, the extent of losses is grave:
In Michigan, Terry Klein, vice president of the Michigan Beekeepers Association and a commercial beekeeper, said reports of huge losses are beginning to arrive.

“One beekeeper started with 1,500 hives and had only 500 colonies left,” Klein said. “Over three or four more weeks, he lost 70 percent of those.”

Assuming a winter population of approximately 20,000 bees, this would leave losses for one beekeeper at 27 million bees! The losses have been widespread in North America, with some beekeepers loosing up to 80 percent of their hives. Over 400 reports have come in from at least 22 states so far. Given the extent of losses, the most puzzling thing is the lack of dead bees:

Although the bodies of dead bees often are littered around a hive, sometimes carried out of the hive by worker bees, no bee remains are typically found around colonies struck by the mystery ailment. Scientists assume these bees have flown away from the hive before dying.

27 million dead bees in a relatively small area should leave some physical evidence. Unless there is an extremely efficient physical process (like a phantom bee-eater) or a much wider geographical distribution of bee carcasses upon their demise, a very strange phenomenon is at work.
Curiously, it has been noted that something similar happened in North America approximately 50 years ago.

I’m a hundred miles behind myself
- Beck, Milk and Honey

Camera Two: Sunspots

Sunspots follow an approximate 11-year cycle, corresponding to increases in solar activity. This solar activity causes geomagnetic effects during the peaks, but effects on earth’s magnetic field also occur during the minimums. Using these observations, scientists have predicted that the next solar maximum, expected to peak in 2010, could be the most intense ever.
The measurement that allows the the prediction is called Inter-hour Variability. Combined with another observation on the sun, Physicist David Hathaway noticed a correlation that allowed prediction of solar activity 6-8 years later. In his observations, the last time something similar to the IHV measurements he sees today happened was about 50 years ago.

I feel it coming and I’ve got to get out of it’s way
- Nine Inch Nails, Sunspots

Watching The Dance

Aside from the fact that most children would use the same crayons to draw both sunspots and honeybees, how could they two be related?
Barbara Shipman, mathematician and daughter of a bee researcher, first noticed something peculiar about the dance bees use to describe where pollen sources are located to other bees. Observed over 40 years by Karl von Firsh, these movements seemed an overly complex way to convey information, especially in insect behavior. No one had yet made sense of the dance the bee scouts performed on returning to a hive, but one thing was clear. All of the dance was based on a triangulation of the hive, the food source, and the sun.
Shipman first studied bees because her father left the bee books in her room, and later studied them in her freshman year as a biochemistry major. It was not until she delved into mathematics that she penetrated the enigmatic mystery of the dance. She was studying flag manifolds, mathematical constructs used in projecting multi-dimensional phenomena into fewer dimensions when something from childhood became clear:

One day Shipman was busy projecting the six-dimensional residents of the flag manifold onto two dimensions. The particular technique she was using involved first making a two-dimensional outline of the six dimensions of the flag manifold. This is not as strange as it may sound. When you draw a circle, you are in effect making a two-dimensional outline of a three- dimensional sphere. As it turns out, if you make a two-dimensional outline of the six-dimensional flag manifold, you wind up with a hexagon. The bee’s honeycomb, of course, is also made up of hexagons, but that is purely coincidental. However, Shipman soon discovered a more explicit connection. She found a group of objects in the flag manifold that, when projected onto a two-dimensional hexagon, formed curves that reminded her of the bee’s recruitment dance. The more she explored the flag manifold, the more curves she found that precisely matched the ones in the recruitment dance. I wasn’t looking for a connection between bees and the flag manifold, she says. I was just doing my research. The curves were nothing special in themselves, except that the dance patterns kept emerging.

Since then, researchers have discovered that things such as the polarization of the light of the sun and local variations of the earth’s magnetic field affect the components of the dance, suggesting bees have sensitivities that would require re-writing our biology, physics and cosmology texts from scratch:

There is some research to support the view that bees are sensitive to effects that occur only on a quantum-mechanical scale. One study exposed bees to short bursts of a high-intensity magnetic field and concluded that the bees’ response could be better explained as a sensitivity to an effect known as nuclear magnetic resonance, or nmr, an acronym commonly associated with a medical imaging technique. nmr occurs when an electromagnetic wave impinges on the nuclei of atoms and flips their orientation. nmr is considered a quantum mechanical effect because it takes place only if each atom absorbs a particular size packet, or quantum, of electromagnetic energy.

If this were not enough, the results imply that bees can perceive quarks, thereby interacting with the quantum world without disturbing it in the ways both observed and predicted by quantum theory. And this perception would have to extend to the perception of quarks not as coherent structures, but as fields. In other words, bees may be able to perceive the unobserved quantum fields of zero-point energy, the much-debated property from which all of the phenomenal world may emerge in the eternal quantum moment.

The Stage: Sun and Earth

Other than the coincidence that a similar disappearance of bees and the precursor to a strong sunspot cycle both occurred at the same time, just as is happening now, how could such revelations be related to the solar cycle?
Science is still at a loss to explain the power of the sun’s magnetic field, or the Solar Dynamo. A set of observations seem all to relate, yet the observations cannot be explained individually or together:

A successful model for the solar dynamo must explain several observations: 1) the 11-year period of the sunspot cycle, 2) the equator-ward drift of the active latitude as seen in the butterfly diagram, 3) Hale’s polarity law and the 22-year magnetic cycle, 4) Joy’s law for the observed tilt of sunspot groups and, 5) the reversal of the polar magnetic fields near the time of cycle maximum as seen in the magnetic butterfly diagram.7

Taking a cue from the bees, we can look at spin as a common component. Spin is a property of quantum ‘particles’ that can be manipulated, and is a fundamental component of both NMR and quantum computers. Spin is complex conceptually, especially given the fact that the most simple description of the spin of Fermions (the ‘particles’ that make up matter as we know it) is 1/2. This means that if you could hold one of these ‘particles’ and mark a spot on it with a Sharpie, you would have to turn it 720 degrees around in your hand to see the mark once again. Quarks, the ‘particle’ bees may interact with, also have spin 1/2.
The concept of spherical harmonics is used to visualize the effects of spin. Using spherical harmonics, the sun can also be visualized as a six-dimensional body with three rotational components. In another simple visualization, a two-dimensional flatlander would have a great deal of difficulty explaining an eight-ball intersecting her space while rotating both horizontally and vertically. It would seem to her that the disc she observed (the portion of the eight-ball intersecting with her plane) had a spin of 1/2. If she then used spherical harmonics to describe the object, she would be able to make some mathematical predictions about its structure and behavior, even without having an ability to visualize or perceive the third dimension directly.
In our visualization of the sun, such a correlation of observable phenomena should be striking if indeed the sun is a six dimensional structure:



Here we see the sun in six dimensions (above) rotating, the magnetic component (poles) waxing, waning and switching on a 22-year cycle (magnetic flux and the Hale cycle), the 11-year “butterfly pattern” (the Schwabe cycle, the Omega effect accounting for the stretching in actual observation).
The red and blue parts of the image above correspond with the “real” component of the wave function described by the spherical harmonic (sunspots and solar wind), while the yellow and green describe the “imaginary” component. Could this “imaginary” component correspond to an effect similar to the solar wind that interacts with the “unobserved quantum field”?

The Smoking Gun

The solar probe Ulysses’ circumpolar orbit took it below the south pole of the sun this past winter. While there, sunspot 938 put on the most energetic performance of any sunspot in four years, ejecting a particle storm that would have been a “ground-level event” (penetrating the entire atmosphere) had it been directed at earth. Instead, it was directed towards the south pole, shattering current models of solar functioning.
If we consider such a particle stream to be a secondary stream to the “imaginary” component of the solar field that would be dominant during a solar minimum, then the quantum field to which the bees may be sensitive could have been disturbed. Or, the bees could have lost navigation, possibly abandoning the hive as one of the directional components of either the quantum field or local terrestrial magnetic variations moved drastically closer to the sun. They may have flown skyward, attempting to keep up with the rapidly moving target of home in six dimensions. Or, hyperdimentsional bee-eaters could have emerged from the sunspot, phasing the bees out of existence on contact (given the evidence, anything is possible, and equally strange. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider this to be very likely to say the least).
Similar events could have happened 50 years ago when geomagnetic events preceded the most active solar cycle recorded. Bee disappearances were reported across the southern United States in the time preceding the increased activity. Physicist David Hathaway:

“We don’t know why this works,” says Hathaway. The underlying physics is a mystery. “But it does work.”

Enough anecdotal evidence and coincidence combined with solid observation also exists to link the disappearance of the bees with changes in the sun, even if the reason why the cameras show correlation in the dance is not clear.

Excuse me while I kiss the sky
- Jimi Hendrix, Purpule Haze

Playground weekender is a three day festival on the hawksberry river, various international djs and bands play and there’s a ferry service shuttling people back and forth from wisemans ferry, a tranquil and beautiful little village, where angel stone, agent carly and her friend bergit and myself had rented a room in the local pub.
As it was fancy dress the girls had created an mix of angelic and demonic outfits, naughty angels, whereas I had taken my casual approach to fancy dress by just being myself. From the moment we arrived the girls went into party mode, drinking and snorting, and by the time it came to catch the ferry angel stone had trashed herself. So we arranged to meet her down there and off the three of us went.
We followed an excellent vibe , a beautiful and tranquil river journey in the incredible bush, I was in heaven, my body relaxed my mind at peace. When we left the ferry we explored the festival, sprawled over a huge amount of land, were several different areas, stages and a corridor of wonderful stalls selling things from foodstuffs to clothes and make up. Some areas had lunge chairs and coffee tables outside; some were designed like a huge Persian chill out tent, with beautiful soft cushions to sprawl upon. Agent stone had not arrived on the ferry as arranged and so we decided to just follow the currents and see where we went. I spoke to random people, all very friendly and all looking quite happy, eventually we came to a huge stage where Kuder and Doirffmister were playing a funky upbeat set. We danced a bit, and then after about an our I felt a pull somewhere. The thing about these events and my own personal space is I do pick up on currents and waves of energy and if my instincts are strong they usually lead me to something significant, the walk back to the other side of the festival took about an hours, especially as the girls were looking at the goods on sale and we all were talking to everyone who listened.
When we got to a new environment they were playing some Madonna tune everyone dancing and obviously trashed. Agent Carly suddenly screamed and jumped up and down because there in front of her was angel stone.
Amazing.
Next morning the girls lay in while I went back to chat with the Krishnas and eat Krishna food.
I bought an updated version of the Gita.
Later I met the girls who were devouring breakfast, we wandered around, having our fortunes told, our head massaged and getting more and more into the spirit of the playground. Home late Sunday.
Monday morning and its my birthday, I’m down the street in Avalon and Larissa buys me a cake.
We discuss our group and the journeys, some drama unfolded in my absence, but it just means I need to learn more and take more responsibility, something I think I was born to do here.
Later I visit Agent stone, she’s okay, well recovered, we go to the beach and I surf in perfect waves. Its been so long, I’m in there for hours.
Later I meet my brother in Kings Cross, we go to Govinda’s, its my fave place and the film upstairs is ‘Darjeeling Tea Company’ which we decide to see, sprawled out on huge cusions, im torn between falling asleep and watching the film, but in the end my nausea gets the better of me and I have to leave, at neutral bay I throw up, race home, get thyself to bed, restless night, strange crushing sensations in chest.

awake at 5am
masses of energy flowing from my spine up through my head, its like the kundalini release. but pure information. Incredible. I'm fully charged. go for a swim/surf but the water is choppy, i get that sensation of being a drop of water in an ocean, perhaps water is the intelligent life on earth, that designed humans with brains so it can evolve. every thing on a material plane comes down to water. the man who fell to earth.

i have always wondered what a map of consciousness would look like, i was asked to draw one once. Consciousness would be mapped in two ways, expansive or reductive, it would have to span space and time, therefore not be constrained by boundries, therefore my maps of consciousness would be spiral in nature, either going in, becoming narrower or going out, evolving.

joseph campbell wrote the heroes journey 'the hero with a thousand faces' a treatese on the road that all heroes, have to undertake from all cultures, he identified that a reluctant hero is called upon a quest, it's dangerous and life threatening, they journey and on the way find some medicine or tools or information that they bring back, to heal themselves or the tribe with.
But Campbell only looks at part of the scheme, for recognises the unity behind diversity and weaves them into a collective whole.
But there are many differences. Campbell has given us a horizontal map, but lets look at the vertical one, the different levels on which life's games are played.
The vertical map allows us to identify amongst the heroes if they are saints or warriors or sages.
Different types of heroes reflect different types of games.
The games are not frivolous but meaningful ones, that confront and test us, hone our abilities.
In the book The Master Game Robert DeRopp says, 'what people need and demand from life is not wealth, comfort and esteem but games worth playing. seek a game worth playing above all, when you find it play with intensity, play as if your life depends upon it because it does.'
There are games and games...
'life games reflect life games and the games men chose to play indicate not only their type but also their inner level of development. we can divide games up into 'object games' and 'meta games'
object games are games for the attainment of material things. money status, sex
meta games are for intangibles. knowledge, salvation, truth beauty, etc.
At the top of the meta games DeRopp places the Master Game:
The quest for enlightenment. The game played by sages across cultures and time, It is the game concerned with mastery of not the outer world but the inner world. The ultimate goal is to dissolve into ones true nature and delight in the greatest discovery of all discovery, the ecstatic realization that this nature is inseparable from the divine.

The Kingdom of heaven is within you
He is all and all is him
Those who know themselves know their lord
Those who know themselves know their natures
Atman and Brahman are one
Look within, You are the Buddah.

It still remains a difficult and demanding game and in our society there are few who play, modern man is hypnotized by the glitter of our own gadgets, he is not concerned with his inner world. But the Master game is the inner world, a vast and complex territory about which men know little.
The aim of the game is awakening, awakening from the condition we are trapped in, sleepwalking.

Master game players progress through these five stages

the heroes conventional life
the call to adventure and awakening
disipline and training
culmination of the quest
the final phase of return and contribution to society

i'm possessed by the idea that i need to get hold of a copy of 'the supreme yoga' so i jump in my friends car and hi tail it into the city, he drops me off and i'm making a dash for adyar, the best book shop in sydney, although they have not got the supreme yoga, they do remember me as a valued regular and make me feel quite welcome but....curses!!!!!
i stock up on some Chris Hyatt stuff and head for 'Galaxy' around the corner where i scan the shelves for new sci fi, i pick up a copy of a book called, 'glass books of the dream eaters' buy it and run to 'dymocks' where they do a though search but announce they don't have the supreme yoga either. race home, on a bus filled with school kids, they are loud and filled with phrenetic energy, i fall asleep.
At home i buy several titles from 'amazon' and then i think to myself, ahhh that actually makes sense.

i've had a little time to adjust to the change in my brain, its still occurring but its slower, information is being shuffled around, i'm rather enjoying this update to my hard drive, tomorrow i will actually pick up a new machine.

The Yoga Vasistha The supreme yoga

The Yoga Vasistha is a scripture of great importance but it is perhaps not as well-known in the world as, for instance, the Bhagavad Gita may be. The scripture contains a cosmology which is most modern. It contains theories of physics which are not only nuclear but sub-atomic; and, what is extremely important, it gives a vision that is at the same time both grand and subtle. Recently I was reading a very interesting book titled Lives of a Cell by Lewis Thomas, where he describes the human body in cosmic dimensions, meaning that every cell in this body is an enormous organism within which there are independent organisms, which themselves house other organism-worlds within worlds. That is just about the basic theory of the Yoga Vasistha. Thomas says that on the basis of his studies, he does not even visualise the earth as an organism. The best view of the world could be that it is one single cell. The Vasistha gives a beautiful story which resembles exactly that. If one has this view, then I think all the division which haunts our vision will disappear. You and I, including the dog, are not only one, but we are all cells-little things within one cell.

The scripture contains wonderful health hints, psychosomatic theories, wonderful instructions for meditation and for worship and beautiful descriptions, if not instructions, concerning warfare. All this and highly romantic stories, too.

However, we are not really concerned with all that. Most of our problems revolve around the questions: What is our life? What am I? What must I do? Why am I here? Some of us at some time or other in our lives reach the point where we feel: "I am living a useless life. What is all this for? I feel so insignificant-like a dry leaf which is wafted in the wind." There arises despair-what St. John of the Cross might have called the dark night of the soul. The response to this question is the teaching contained in the scripture.

Vasistha declares right in the beginning that the feeling that I am bound psychologically and that I want to get out of this prison is the qualification of one who can profit by study of this text. If the soul experiences this dark night and that soul, craving for light, is exposed to this teaching, it is instantly enlightened.

Why do despair and fear arise in our life? Why do we get attached to anything in this life? Why do we hate anything in this life? All these arise from hope or desire for happiness, for peace of mind. This hope inevitably leads us to its own destruction, leads us to unhappiness. Vasistha says: "Give up all these ideas of running away from this world. Don't even try to examine what this despair is, don't even try to investigate whatever is a passing phenomenon. Don't even let your mind dwell on what has been considered unreal."

There is one verse which is extremely beautiful:

bhramasya jagatasya 'sya jatasya 'kasavarnavat
apunah smaranam manye sadho vismaranam varam

The world is bhrama-an appearance, hallucination. Vasistha compares the world-appearance to the blueness of the sky; although there is nothing blue there, if you look at it you will still see blue. This hallucination will continue as long as you continue to look at it and wonder. You have hallucinated this world and you have strengthened this hallucination by constantly thinking about whether it is real or unreal. Vasistha says: "It is better to think of something else."

What is the reality? That which is, is real. The following example occurs quite often in the scripture: there is a bracelet made of gold. Bracelet is a word which we have used conventionally. We also see this as a form and as soon as the form is seen, it generates a concept and a word in the mind. If we dismiss the word and look at the form, we can play a very interesting game: is it gold or is it bracelet? Both. How can only one thing be two? The substance is gold; the reality is gold. It appears in a certain form and convention has given it a name.

If that is clear, everything is clear. For instance, if somebody called me a fool, by reacting to that, I am accepting that I am a fool. The statement had a certain psychological form but the reality of that is nothing but pure consciousness within. Something that happened in the outside world sent me into this ocean of despair. I became afraid and I did not bother to look into it, because I took the external circumstance as something real. And so my attention was completely and totally directed towards this external experience. If I am not a fool, why should I react to him at all? In such a situation, can I look for the reality? What is the reality of one I call the other person? What is the reality of that body, that mind? At the same time what is the reality that I call me, which reacts? Are these two completely separate and independent realities? This dual enquiry has to continue together, not one after the other. The subject and the object have to be looked into together.

A student of the Yoga Vasistha discovers that enlightenment consists of just three steps: there is an appearance; what is the substance behind the appearance? The mind. What is the substance of the mind, and who understands all this? The answer is pure consciousness. In that consciousness you and I, the subject and the object, appear to be divided.

Consciousness, being omnipresent and infinite, manifests (no other word is possible) itself in infinite ways everywhere. It is not possible for this diversity to disappear, but what can and should disappear is seeing it as diverse objects opposed to one another. The infinite remains infinite all the time and the infinite conceives of all this in creation within itself.

A beautiful symbolism is given to us: Vasistha says that this objective creation is like uncut figures in a marble slab-you are a sculptor and you think of the lovely figures you can carve out of it. All those figures exist in it already, potentially. You can visualise one big Buddha or you can visualise hundreds of smaller Buddha's in that one figure of Buddha. That is how this whole world exists.

The world exists not as a reality; the world is a word and there is a psychological form. The psychological form is nothing more than an hallucination which arises in consciousness. Accepting it as an independent reality, we chase one thing and reject something else. All these experiences again form impressions on the mind, strengthening bondage or rather strengthening the idea we have of bondage.

The external world and external circumstances arise in this cosmic consciousness (which you call God); the same consciousness experiences these external circumstances and these are known as subjective experiences, which change-that is all. Realising this you are freed from the delusion of considering these appearances as the reality. Having been freed, says Vasistha, you don't sit idle, you are rejecting that which is the flow of life. Finally Vasistha advises: live in this world as life is lived here, but completely free of all sorrow. Then if you have to weep, weep; if you have to express suffering, express suffering; if you have to express joy and happiness, do so-because you are free.

I have seen only one person who measured that description-my Guru, Swami Sivananda, who was a completely enlightened and liberated person and also totally human. If you went to him with an unhappy story, even before you shed tears you would find tears in his eyes; if you had something joyous to tell him, he was more happy than you were. He was completely uninhibited; free psychologically and spiritually; he was extremely busy-not because he wanted to achieve anything, but because he had realised that achievement or non-achievement are both irrelevant to life.

Your life is not your life. It is part of this cosmic being and whatever that cosmic being decides has to happen. The direct understanding of this is surrender. In order to see this, you must have passed through this despair. You must have come to the direct understanding that what you want to happen, does not happen. If you want something, work for it and if it does happen, Vasistha would say that it is an accidental coincidence. It does not happen all the time and you might notice that more often than not it does not happen. When one sees that, he completely surrenders and at that point he directs his attention towards the source of all these cravings, desires, hopes and anxieties and comes face to face with the mind. He realises that that mind itself is pure consciousness. In it there appears to be conditioned motivations and even that appearance is discarded. That is a life totally free, instantly freed and divine.

T e r e n c e M c K e n n a L a n d

Ego is a structure that is erected by a neurotic individual who is a member of a neurotic culture against the facts of the matter. And culture, which we put on like an overcoat, is the collectivized consensus about what sort of neurotic behaviors are acceptable.

In the Amazon and other places where visionary plants are understood and used, you are conveyed into worlds that are appallingly different from ordinary reality. Their vividness cannot be stressed enough. They are more real than real, and that's something that you sense intuitively. They establish an ontological priority. They are more real than real, and once you get that under your belt and let it rattle around in your mind, then the compass of your life begins to spin and you realize that you are not looking in on the Other; the Other is looking in on you. This is a tremendous challenge to the intellectual structures that have carried us so far during the last thousand years. We can do tricks with atoms, there's no question about that, but these tricks immolate us. The higher-order structure of molecules, let alone organelles and that kind of thing, is intellectual incognita to us. We have no notion of how these things work or what is going on. Yet it is from those levels that the constituent modalities of reality are being laid down.

Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around. An extremely yang solution to a peculiar problem which they faced.

DMT is a pseudo-neurotransmitter that when ingested and allowed to come to rest in the synapses of the brain, allows one to see sound, so that one can use the voice to produce not musical compositions, but pictoral and visual compositions. This, to my mind, indicates that we're on the cusp of some kind of evolutionary transition in the language-forming area, so that we are going to go from a language that is heard to a language that is seen, through a shift in interior processing. The language will still be made of sound but it will be processed as the carrier of the visual impression. This is actually being done by shamans in the Amazon. The songs they sing sound as they do in order to look a certain way. They are not musical compositions as we're used to thinking of them. They are pictoral art that is caused by audio signals.

If you really wanted to study an aboriginal race and you really had a hot technology, what you would do is study their social psychology and you would say, "are there any chinks in the armor of their expectations about how reality behaves?" and you would discover in studying us - this species intoxicates itself and it has a curious attitiude towards it's intoxications: anything goes. So if someone drinks a bottle of stolichnaya and announces that they see pink elephants we are all amused. We say of course you do you're drunk out of your mind.. Isn't it obvious that an alien would hide its presence in an intoxication? This is the non-invasive, tasteful, respectful way to have intercourse with another species. ..you put yourself into a plant, You put a barcode into a molecule. Then the shaman intoxicates himself and he says 'aha it's an ancestor spirit' or 'it's the soul of the plant, but whatever it is it's giving me good information. It's telling me where the reindeer went..what the weather will be next week..who stole the goose..who slept with who..and which of the ill members of my tribe will live and who will die..'


T.McKenna

the drink tasted fine contrary to the previous evenings where i almost couldn't finish it, last night of ayahuscia sessions, lots of trepidation but i asked the vine to be gentle with me, my friend, i said, i'm so insignificant and i know this, i place myself in your care with love and trust, and i count my revelations as blessings.
lots of music, dige, pipes, percussion, very tribal elements, body just moving. when the dmt was administered i was feeling comfortable with myself, no anxiety no fear but i knew the dmt would change the whole dimensional landscape. many things happened but it was an ever shifting, ever changing fractal, many worlds overlapping, i could see the foam, the way everything layers together, everything connected. as i went for water, the two ladies, medicine woman, invited me to lay with them, in their very comfortable and warm shrine. i lay there with gratitude for i needed some security to ease my fear.

that's when something wild and unpredictable occurred, one of the others started to freak out, swearing, anger, aggression, violence, it just came into our space, a demonic vile creature, it started beating its chest and then getting more and more violent until three men were holding him down, trying to contain the situation. This went on for what seemed like hours. In my own head i was beginning to see that death could be a real possibility and i may find myself before a magistrate saying,

'look your highness, i was looking for answers as i have an inquiring mind, my life has become more complex than i can deal with and i need help and thats why i am here, i drink aya for guidence and this is where she takes me, i have surrendered to the process and what ever happened happened, i'm a lost soul sir/madam just like you and everyone else, the system has not worked for me, and i can't support it by avoiding possibilities of infinity.'

Anyways hours later the result was the demon was released and silence returned, peace came and i settled into the beautiful company of the magickian, he recommeded terrence mckenna.
i awoke later, dawn, sunlight, i slipped out, death was ever present i laughed, i've travelled many lifetimes many dimesions just to be right here right now.
i'm healing.