Monday, March 03, 2008

the drink tasted fine contrary to the previous evenings where i almost couldn't finish it, last night of ayahuscia sessions, lots of trepidation but i asked the vine to be gentle with me, my friend, i said, i'm so insignificant and i know this, i place myself in your care with love and trust, and i count my revelations as blessings.
lots of music, dige, pipes, percussion, very tribal elements, body just moving. when the dmt was administered i was feeling comfortable with myself, no anxiety no fear but i knew the dmt would change the whole dimensional landscape. many things happened but it was an ever shifting, ever changing fractal, many worlds overlapping, i could see the foam, the way everything layers together, everything connected. as i went for water, the two ladies, medicine woman, invited me to lay with them, in their very comfortable and warm shrine. i lay there with gratitude for i needed some security to ease my fear.

that's when something wild and unpredictable occurred, one of the others started to freak out, swearing, anger, aggression, violence, it just came into our space, a demonic vile creature, it started beating its chest and then getting more and more violent until three men were holding him down, trying to contain the situation. This went on for what seemed like hours. In my own head i was beginning to see that death could be a real possibility and i may find myself before a magistrate saying,

'look your highness, i was looking for answers as i have an inquiring mind, my life has become more complex than i can deal with and i need help and thats why i am here, i drink aya for guidence and this is where she takes me, i have surrendered to the process and what ever happened happened, i'm a lost soul sir/madam just like you and everyone else, the system has not worked for me, and i can't support it by avoiding possibilities of infinity.'

Anyways hours later the result was the demon was released and silence returned, peace came and i settled into the beautiful company of the magickian, he recommeded terrence mckenna.
i awoke later, dawn, sunlight, i slipped out, death was ever present i laughed, i've travelled many lifetimes many dimesions just to be right here right now.
i'm healing.

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