he passed me a glass of water.
'you clearly have a case of mono sodium glutamate poisoning,' the dr. says. he looks at some x rays and scan results, 'mmm, yes particularly around the brain, it's a very bad case.'
'really, i never heard of such a thing.'
'yes the medical profession don't like to talk about it, but asian doctors are very familiar with this condition. we call it msgh, as in mono sodium glutamate head.'
'well is there a recommended treatment.'
the dr. whips out a scalpel, it gleams under the medical light and his face takes on a sinister new look.
'yes, now just lay down, i can deal with this right now.'
'you know i've never trusted the medical model of illness, i may get a second opinion.'
'to late, to late i have to do surgery now.'
'well i have my own medicine man, i'd like to ask him before i continue.'
'you have a medicine man.'
woman actually, a healer from the amazon.'
his face distorted now, angry and malevolent, he sneers, 'women no good, amazon woman can't fix like dr. chang.'
'look, thanks, dr, i appreciate you looking but i'm going to leave it and if i decide to, i'll come straight back.'
'you no go anywhere captain mission, you drink take effect before you reach door.'
'what! this water's spiked?'
i hold the glass up and peer into it seeing a faint cloud which is the dr's face through the glass. the face is getting more and more contorted the further it slips away.
'fuck, i hate doctors,' i manage to whisper before everything disappears.
when i awaken i'm sitting in a wheelchair in a sterile looking lounge room, a nurse is whispering 'suck suck' to me, and for a moment i am confused but then notice the straw in my mouth leads to a bottle of liquid. 'drink it up, good nutrients, help you feel much better after big operation.'
i am to weak to stand, so i suck the strange tasting liquid. i look around for a mirror, it's seems like a strange reaction but i need to see myself. have i been experimented upon, is my face the same, has he transplanted my head onto a walrus. my imagination still under the influence of narcotics takes an extreme journey into fear, panic and paranoia.
i look at my hands, the same, my feet and legs are me, and my face feels the same, i think logically. breath, one two three four, i count my breathing cycles, gradually i relax. okay drink the fucking nutrient. i suck.
gradually i begin to gain strength, the nurse is sitting quietly at my side, she's reading a book.
'what are you reading?'
'it's a medical book, transhuman experimental medicine.'
'what have you done to me? i can feel something's different, just be honest and tell me what you have done.'
'dr. change will tell you soon.'
'change, i thought his name was chang...'
'it's a common mistake.'
i make a grunting sound, part frustration and part resignation, i make a half hearted attempt to rise but my legs are slightly wobbly from the after effects of some kind of anaesthesia.
after ten minutes the nurse puts down her book, she takes my pulse, checks my heart and places a helmet over my head, then begins to watch data flow across her laptop.
'what is that?'
'it's a fractal analysis for wetware. dr. change will explain everything in a moment.
right on cue the doctor enters, he starts to take off his white lab coat and hangs it up upon a hook, dressed in an immaculate black suit he dosn't even acknowledge me or the nurse. he looks at the charts the nurse has been keeping, and gazes into the screen with her, their faces light up as they reflect the data stream. it's almost an underwater sight as the flickering data packets float upon their faces
dr. change picks up a book from the table, 'captain mission, are you familiar with the book of changes.'
'the i ching, yes of course i am.'
'your hexagram, da zhuang 34.'
'great, i feel much better now.'
'da zhuang, with great power comes great responsibility.'
'yeah, you have me confused with spiderman, just level with me, what have you done?'
'it's pretty impressive, i made some adjustments in your brain, it has an additional component that may assist you in your journey.'
'i wasn't planning on taking a journey so just tell me, what the fuck did you do?'
the brain is a remarkable organ, it's not just a regulator and processing machine, it's a holographic filtering mechanism that determines how much reality you are given access to. under normal waking conditions you are aware of about 5% of the total information around you, once we switch it on, you will be able to control the receiving flow, the universe will literally flood into your mind. well, perhaps parts of it.'
'why would you do this?'
'we have the same enemy.'
'i have no enemy.'
'yes you do, you forget. you seem to be afflicted with a forgetting element, i think some past frontal lobe damage.'
i stood up, looked at the nurse, 'who are you people?'
'allies, friends, comrades, it cannot matter, we have done our work, all we have to do now is turn you on.'
'and what's with the i ching?'
'the i ching is an uncertainty machine, the brain is a certainty machine, we have taken out certainty for you.'
'from my brain...you took out...certainty?'
'yes, it is thanks to the hole at the hub that a wheel may turn. without the hole, it won't.'
'you chinese love your inscrutability don't you?'
'the i chings power is that it has no wisdom to impart, it means nothing, and within this is the secret of it's power. all those images and words, all random and poetic, all seeds of possibilities, the hole but not the wheel.'
'i liked it better when my head was filled with msg.'