driving home from work listening to old richard ashcroft, the beautiful morning light filtering through the parkway, trees alive with energy, you can see their auras, see them growing, spreading out, past the tropical pockets where it looks like jungle, gradually the foilage eases out and you catch glimpses of the lake, crystal water, reflecting sunlight, glass surface, a pelican floats, one skims in from above, your mind drifting, expansive, and song for the lovers comes on and you breath in, feels good to be alive you think, ironically notcing the fresh carnage, roadkill, every morning it accumulates, horrific metal death, the beautiful perfect creations reassembled, squashed, turned inside out, no longer beautiful, no longer functional, death is not the end little ones, its the beginning. i feel sorry for all the animals killed, i drive past them every morning sometimes and i think, i am the cause, i drive a car. often i say a blessing if the animal is dying, or recently deceased, i send its soul on its journey. i don't know why, i have always done this, even if there is no soul, no journey, the doing of it makes me feel easier.
i actually send them back through time, in my mind, they are given life when a car reverses over them at a high speed, they stand there looking a bit dazed, then they hop away back into the bush, back to their loving families who miss them and wonder where they are.

okay so its pay day today, which means rent, bills, debts and outstanding credit needs fixing but prioritize, so first on the list its the surf.
today we are greeted with the promise of near perfection, standing at the shore i watch each wave form, they are small but significant, they emerge from nowhere, out of stillness, they flow towards and i watch them break, consistant and beautful. the water is clean, its almost clear, its sharp, slightly cold but my body acclimatizes quickly, i take a quick lungful and throw myself in, theres no struggle, no wash, just a nice easy access out the back, my fin cuts through. after a while the waves are increasing in size, they become perfect, i ride them, mustta caught about 30 and each time they get bigger and bigger. eventually its the cold water (no wet suit yet) that motivates me towards the shore. i look at the clouds, i do some breathing excersises, i smile and think how grateful i am, i feel love and i feel loved.

later im invited for lunch at sam
'whats on the menu?' i say.
'me'
'i'm kinda hungry.'
'good.'

more love in the afternoon, i am actually starving...