the bottom, that's where we are at, in the gutter looking at the stars. right? yeah i was in the stars and now pulled down on earth i am amongst the earthed, trapped just like the silver surfer. i will drive myself to the limit until i can break through the barrier i have been held within. there must be a way back for me, integrated or not. this is not whom i am. not where i am meant to be kept.
ms. mission said i was dangerous, maybe she is right, i can't know anything anymore, it's like being in a boxing ring, punch drunk, i swagger around like a dazed fighter on his knees, not being quick-witted enough to even know when to fall.  
every moment is painful as confusion and numbness override the tension. 
i have followed her and this is where i am.
i take my bike out for a spin, i ride here and there, i listen to my thoughts, let them go, i watch the trees, birds and energy, i look up at the blue skies, i wonder as i wander. 
in one moment everything subsides and i understand all the past, has passed, it it unimportant and i cannot attach myself to it's influence. what's done was done. all that really matters is i love this woman. it is a great love, an epic and the cosmos acknowledged us. at the end of the day, that's true for both of us. the future, well i guess that's what you make it.