somewhere in the depths of my mind as i fall apart lays the solution to my escape from this grounding, it's popping out from my cerebellum fabric and sparking my central nervous system in waves of synaptic pain only particles can bring. grounding is okay if you seek oblivion but i seek much more than a four-dimensional potential. my requirements are outside the mainframe. 
so in my terrible situation, i seek the answer, each mental thought pushes my board against the invisible barrier i have been imprisoned within. i have to think my way out in waveforms using cosmic power.
the solution is a strange one but arrives after a gut-wrenchingly painful evening.  
i can't depend on anyone anymore, everything outside of myself is unreliable. i can't trust it at all as it cannot trust itself. so i have to move further to the outside of everything, i see the bubbles float across the periphery of my existence. my mind creates them for me. 
how many?
millions, billions, trillions all come into existence and randomly pop, they all pop at some point. i see the space between them, i see the time between them, but i also am able to shift my perspective and comprehend their significance. 
pop! 
hard to imagine i am outside the multiverse. i have been here before although i have forgotten the details apart from the pain of broken bones, it cannot hold me only delay my inevitable rapture. i should be dead but i am not.
here it is represented as foam, a collection of universes, some parallel, some alternate, some interpret dimensions and other alternative times. each universe is a bubble, each bubble a single universe in a collection of others, all represented as foam. i see it all before me and comprehend the pathway i must take. 

i'm done with the game. it becomes very tedious and stale, i'm not going to be where i do not wish to be, i don't want to live another person's life especially if i can't depend upon it. 
i must take responsibility, at least i can trust myself. i am if anything reliable.
the law of probability states, all contracting states eventually expand. so i play the long game now, somewhere a flip has been switched, i know this as my intuition informs.
karmic patterns are being manipulated but i recognize these as false or at least nothing to do with me, my karma is excellent, the account is secure so i feel okay about any significant projection upon me. i just have to take the personal out of it, it's nothing to do with me. it's glamour, it's usually clever and attacks when i am vulnerable, and love, this state, made me very vulnerable and open to exploitation. i must address this on a new level. i made mistakes, i took wrong action, yet everything was as it had to be. i have completed my part of this, it's done, just one more final phase before i see the big picture clearly.

later at the beach, i see it so clearly, as if everything conspires to reveal itself at this moment, a curtain raised and here lies the answers right before my eyes, the complex dance comes to a climax. i see it all now. all.