Friday, August 16, 2013



sometimes weeks go past, without a conversation with anyone i can relate to correctly, i mean i work full time but it's me and four guys who have mental illness afflictions, they are plagued by demons, erratic thought processes, dysfunctional chemical networks that confuse almost everything in their experience, it's only because i am very good at my job they feel totally safe with me, but i can't really talk about my own passions with them, so at mission control, i guess i'm just surrounded by my beasts whom i am learning to communicate with but it's tricky and i'm actually feeling some what alone, lonely. i'd love to chat with someone, face to face, have a deep and meaningful conversation, but i've lost most of my social skills, i just can't see the point in them now. 
why can't you just say what you wanna say, be who you are, all that bullshit getting to know you, you never really know anyone, the best you can do is know yourself, and then attempt to know another but only ever discover more about yourself. i'm far to egocentric for an egoless person, my super ego must be driving me now, i wish it would leave me alone, i'd like some time alone with my id.

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